He shall be my squishy

Posted on May 31, 2012 by Vanessa Chapman

Photograph of clown fish by aitvaras

How do I love thee Finding Nemo? Let me count the ways…

I am generally quite happy to accept that we all have different opinions, without feeling the need to try and prove that my opinion is the right one. However, if anyone says that Finding Nemo is not the greatest feature length animation film ever made, I shall fight them in the streets over it (figuratively). It has it all – humour, tragedy, courage, determination, loyalty, friendship, a blue fish with a short memory, love, addiction recovery, teamwork, triumph over adversity, beautiful scenery, and a blue fish with a short memory. I took my daughter to see it at the cinema, she must have been 4 or 5; it wasn’t the first time she had been to the cinema, but it was the first time she sat still and watched a whole film through without fidgeting and talking. We were both enthralled.

Aside from loving the film just because it’s great, I’ve also come to realise that so many parts of it are reflections of my life, more metaphorically than literally, but sometimes literally! I have selected a couple of examples:

Near the beginning, when Nemo is getting ready to go to school with his Dad Marlin, they don’t just leave their anemone home once, no, Marlin is very anxious, so they test things out a bit. They go out, and back in again, out and back in again, out and back in again. If you want to see that bit, go along to 1:14 on the clip below (sorry for the quality of it). I shall explain how it relates to me below the clip…

…Because I do some acting and performing, I have to put myself out there a bit. The problem is, I’m actually quite shy and socially awkward – you wouldn’t know it from this site would you, with the big header picture which screams “Look at me everybody!”. I expect a psychologist would say that there is some over-compensation going on here; I put on a display of bold self confidence which I can then hide behind. I expect the psychologist would be right. But sometimes when I come onto this site, I cringe a bit and worry that people must think I’m really “up myself”. The same with my business cards, I had business cards made with my photo on them because it seemed like a good idea, but whenever I give them out I end up apologising that they have a photo of me on them. I go out, and back in again…out, and back in again.

The second and final clip is the classic “Just keep swimming” song. Over recent years I’ve been through some tough times, and the words of this song have quite literally kept me going at times, they really have. Whatever happens, and however difficult things might seem, you just have to keep going until you get through it. I have said it to myself many a time, try it, you’ll see: Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…

My latest published article – Stephen Hussey

Posted on May 28, 2012 by Vanessa Chapman

You may have read the post I wrote for the Limebird Writers site last week – Interviewing for Magazine Articles. Well, here is an example of an article I have written which was based on an interview. This has just been published in the June 2012 edition of the Canterbury Index magazine. The article is about Stephen Hussey, the founder of the Urban Soul Orchestra. An extremely interesting and talented man.

If you can’t read it properly above, you can go direct to the online version of the magazine here, the article is on page 43: http://content.yudu.com/Library/A1wwcb/TheCanterburyIndexIs/resources/index.htm

5 Things I have grown to hate since having kids

Posted on May 21, 2012 by Vanessa Chapman

1) Stickers – All kids love stickers. It’s a fact. And they stick them everwhere. Nobody told me when I was pregnant about how much time I would have to spend over the next few years cleaning stickers off furniture, walls, the floor, clothes, myself, the cat. At 13 and 10, my kids are past the sticker stage, but last week I realised that I have not recovered yet myself when the dentist casually asked them if they were too old for stickers and I snapped back, all too quickly “Yes they are!”.

2) Balloons – Yes, they look very pretty strung up somewhere, and that’s where they should stay. For many years balloons from parties were in my house, under my feet. Or making that annoying squeaky noise they make when they are played with, which eventually ended in the loud bang that scared the wits out of me. Then there were the extortionately priced large helium filled mylar balloons which I was begged to buy. I’m pretty sure I could buy a small island for the cost of one, but occasionally I would give in, and would then be faced with the stress of stopping them from flying away. When they did fly away, then there were the inevitable tears (mine).

3) Making sandwiches – Again, nobody warned me about how long I would be spending on this activity. Every morning there are sandwiches to be made for school. Every weekend there are sandwiches to be made for trips out. The sandwich making is never ending. I wouldn’t mind if there was some gratitude for my sandwich work. But no, there are regular complaints about the choice of filling, or the choice of bread, or the way they are packed (yes, the way they are packed).

4) Cuddly toys – I don’t actually hate cuddly toys, I kind of love them, but that’s the problem. What I hate is how they have taken over the house, there are so many of them, but I just can’t bear to throw them away. Not when they look at me like that with those cute little eyes saying “Please don’t heartlessly throw me away like a piece of garbage”. I can’t do it, I can’t get rid of any of them. I blame Toy Story.

5) Mud – I can’t say that I particularly liked mud before having kids, but I was somewhat indifferent to it. The problem is, in order to get from the car to the front door of our house, you have to walk over some grass, and that means that for at least half the year, you are also walking in mud. My valiant attempts to control it by enforcing rules of muddy shoes to be left by the door, always fail miserably. My sticker cleaning days may be over, but my mud cleaning days certainly are not. You wouldn’t believe some of the places I find mud, but that’s another post for another day…

My love/hate relationship with boot fairs

Posted on May 13, 2012 by Vanessa Chapman

We decided we would sell some things at a boot fair today. For my non-UK readers who might not know what a boot fair is, just imagine a huge garage sale in a field, with lots of people all selling their stuff at the same time; by my reckoning there were about 200 stalls there today – the usual mixture of the general public and a few business traders. The disadvantage compared to garage sales is that you have to pack your stuff up and take it somewhere, so obviously you’ll only be able to sell what will fit in your vehicle. The advantage however is that these are usually large organised events that are well publicised, so you should get a much larger number of customers than you would with a garage sale. We have done several of these before.

What I hate about doing them:

1) They start so early – we had to be at our one at 6am today. Not good on a Sunday.

2) They take over your whole weekend. Saturday is spent sorting, pricing, and loading up the car, followed by an early night. Sunday, they finish around lunchtime, then you spend most of the afternoon trying to figure out what to do with the things you didn’t sell.

3) You have to make a choice between partial dehydration, or being forced to use the disgusting portaloos on site.

What I love about doing them:

1) You get rid of a lot of junk that has been lurking around the house. This is particularly good with the kids’ stuff. My kids never want to get rid of anything, but the lure of cash is a good persuader. They each keep all the money from whatever they sell of theirs – although sometimes they run off and spend their earnings at other stalls almost as quick as they are making it, so it can end up up feeling like all we have done is swap our junk for other people’s.

2) Unlike most other family activities, this is one that ends with us all having a bit more money than we started with.

3) It’s a great opportunity for the kids to learn some business/work skills. Together we choose what to sell and price it. They learn about customer service skills. They handle cash and give change. Most of all they learn about negotiation – at least half of the customers will offer lower than the asking price, and I let the children handle their own negotiations for their things; they used to just agree to any offer, but now they will often come in with a counter price, or simply refuse if they’re not happy with the offer.

4) It’s a really great place for people watching. The motley assortment of people streaming by, clutching their purchases, are very entertaining. A lot of them bring their dogs too, so it’s good for dog watching too.

Overall, as long as the weather holds, it’s a good thing to do. If you’re looking for the best prices for your goods, then you’re probably not going to get them there – people visit boot fairs for dirt cheap bargains. But if you just want to get rid of some stuff, and make a bit of pocket money, then there are worse places you could spend a morning, particularly a lovely sunny morning like we had today.

It’s Official, I’m a Limebird!

Posted on May 10, 2012 by Vanessa Chapman

That’s right, I am delighted to now be one of the writers on the Limebird team. You may now call me Limebirdvanessa. I know that some of you who follow me here, also follow the Limebird Writers blog, but if you don’t, and are interested in the subject of writing, and all its facets, then why not pop over there and check it out, and not just because I’m one of them!

My first post for them went live yesterday – I wrote up a few suggestions for games that can be played with groups of children to help stimulate their interest in creative writing and storytelling. You can find it here: http://limebirduk.wordpress.com/2012/05/09/childs-play/

I will still be blogging my general blogs over here, but in addition will be blogging on writing related matters at Limebird. Hope to see some of you over there!

Jim Penfold and the Hollywood Killers

Posted on May 5, 2012 by Vanessa Chapman

Pop art photo of Jim Penfold by Gered Mankowitz

The year was 1976, Jim Penfold, Neil Aplin, Duncan Reid (later of ‘The Boys’) and a couple of school pals formed a band. 36 years later, on June 9th 2012, Jim Penfold and The Hollywood Killers are going to be performing at London’s legendary 100 Club on Oxford Street.

Photograph for 100 Club flyer by Will Wilkinson http://www.wilkyphotography.com

I chatted with Jim, the band’s founder and front man about the early days, and the time he found himself in the woods with Gwyneth Paltrow…

So Jim, you’ve worked with a lot of well-known people over the years, could you name drop a little for us please?

Sure. When we first started the band we were called ‘The Matinee Idols’ and our early gigs were promoted by Simon Fuller who later went on to manage The Spice Girls and S-Club 7. We’ve also had a few people come and go in the band over the years, one of which was lead guitarist Rob Manzoli who went on to have great success as part of Right Said Fred. In 1984 I was in a short film alongside Jason Connery and a then unknown Jack Dee for our song ‘Teenage Dream’.

Jason Connery and Jack Dee you say? Tell me more

Well I can show you. Last year I remade a video for the song using some of the old footage…

Teenage Dream (2011), produced by Will Wilkinson at Blackboard Productions http://www.wilkyphotography.com

Going back to the very early days, who were your main musical influences?

Definitely the Beatles, and particularly Paul McCartney. In 1977 we played a gig at a wine bar in Rye, and later on that evening Denny Laine and Wings came down there for a drink, and we jammed and hung out with them for a bit after the bar closed which was great. I kept hoping Paul would come down to the bar to join us too, but unfortunately it didn’t happen.

I understand you’ve also done some music for television and film, is that right?

Yes, I wrote and performed the music for Charley Boorman’s series ‘Race to Dakar’, and also the theme song and three sound track songs for a film that Charley was in with Richard E.Grant, called ‘Cash in Hand’.

Have you ever performed in front of royalty?

We have indeed. In 1982 we played at The Berkeley Square Ball in front of Princess Margaret. The headline act that night was Dame Vera Lynn.

Vera Lynn, wow! Next you’ll be telling me you’ve been immortalised as a bronze statue somewhere, haha.

Well funny you should say that, I have been. It was created in 1997 by Mark Coreth and sits outside the Globe Theatre on the River Thames, right next to the Millenium Bridge.

What sort of radio play have you had over the years?

Quite a bit. 1978 was a good year – John Peel really liked our song ‘Goodbye Suicide’ and used to play it all the time on his show. In the last couple of years, Chris Hawkins of BBC6 Music has on three occasions on his show replayed our performance on the 1982 Radio 1 in Concert.

So what’s all this about Gwyneth Paltrow then?

I’ve done a bit of acting over the years. I had a part in ‘Rumpole of the Bailey’, and also had walk on parts in ‘Robin Hood Prince of Thieves’, ‘Superman IV’ and ‘Inspector Morse’. But it was during the filming of ‘Emma’, where I played the head gypsy, that I had to attack Gwyneth Paltrow in the woods – I’m sure she remembers the moment as fondly as I do.

And what can we expect from you at the 100 Club in June?

We haven’t played at the 100 Club for over 20 years, so I’m really excited to be going back there, I love the place. We’ll be playing all the old favourites and some newer tracks too. Neil Aplin on lead guitar is the only other member of the band apart from me who was in the original line up. He has tried to leave the band several times over the years, but I always drag him back kicking and screaming. The rest of the band are Dan Conquest (keyboards), John East (bass/backing vocals), Oli Turner (drums) and Ben Court (percussion/backing vocals). We also have two fantastic young, up and coming bands supporting us – Trebuchets, and Theya and the Ghosts. It should be a great night.

Photograph by Will Wilkinson http://www.wilkyphotography.com

Do you think you’ll ever retire from music Jim?

I can’t see me ever retiring. Playing music is the one thing that makes me truly happy. It’s a lot of hard work, and there are a lot of ups and downs along the way, but that one moment on stage where everything comes together makes it all worthwhile.

Well there you have it folks, if you’re around London on June 9th, why not come along? I know I’m looking forward to it, and not least because my wonderful partner Neil is THE Neil Aplin on lead guitar (did I not mention that?).

Do you think we have time for one more song Jim?

I think we do Vanessa. This is one we’ll be playing on the night, ‘Hole In My Room’. I hope you like it.

Hole In My Room (1989). Video by Dominic Allen.

For more info:

http://www.hollywoodkillers.com/

http://www.the100club.co.uk/

Beer and stone and charities

Posted on April 26, 2012 by Vanessa Chapman

Well here are my latest published articles for the Canterbury Index magazine. I wrote two articles for the May issue which is just out – a Charity of the Month article about the homeless charity ‘Catching Lives’, and a VIP (Very Important Person) article about Richard Frost, the Head Brewer at the Shepherd Neame Brewery. For the April issue I wrote a Charity of the Month article about the ‘Canterbury Oast Trust’, a charity that supports adults with learning disabilities, and a VIP article about Heather Newton who is Head Stonemason at Canterbury Cathedral. As always, clicking on the article image will open up a bigger version, but if you still can’t read it you can follow the links below the articles to the online copy of the magazine.

May issue, articles on pages 7 and 8: Canterbury Index May 2012 issue

April issue, articles on pages 9 and 10: Canterbury Index April 2012 issue

As always, I feel privileged to have had the opportunity to talk to such varied and interesting people about their lives and work, and I would certainly say that getting a tour round a brewery is the type of research I could get used to!

Getting older ain’t so bad

Posted on April 12, 2012 by Vanessa Chapman

I’m 41, and I will admit to being the type of person who does worry a bit about getting older. Not obsessively. Just a bit. Now I’m well aware that the age range of my blog readership is quite wide, and there will be people reading this who are 20 years older than me saying “41? You have NO idea what getting older is all about yet”, and there will be people reading this who are 20 years younger than me saying “41? Yeah, I can’t imagine how it feels to be THAT old!”. But whatever your perception of 41 is, we can all agree at least that I am older than I was when I was 21. And you know what? It’s not so bad. Like most women, sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and think “Hey, you’re not looking so bad for 41 girl!” and other times I look in the mirror and wonder who the hideous wrinkly is looking back at me.

Every time you roll over to a new decade it feels like quite a big deal. When you turn 20 and leave your teenage years behind, you realise that you’re now a grown-up. It’s quite a shock. When you turn 30 you realise that you weren’t as much of a grown-up at 20 as you thought you were, but now you’re REALLY a grown-up and had better start acting like one. Then when you turn 40 you give up worrying about being a grown-up. I was actually quite depressed about turning 30, it really felt like I was done being young. I was living in Las Vegas at the time and chose to go jet-skiing on Lake Mead for my 30th birthday. I had never jet-skied before, and it was the best choice I could have made. Just being out on that vast expanse of water, with the beautiful scenery around and blue sky and sunshine above, put everything into perspective and made me feel fantastic. Here I am on that day (don’t worry, I didn’t actually take my daughter out jet-skiing with me, that was just for the photo!) -

I was less worried about turning 40, I had done a better job of resigning myself to it leading up to the day. For my 40th I went for a weekend in London with my lovely partner Neil. We live less than two hours from London but we never get to go away just the two of us, so it was a real treat and that’s what I chose to do rather than having a party or anything (I’m really not a party person). Here we are enjoying our time away together…both on our phones; the picture is actually a reflection of ourselves that we are photographing in a strange mirror sculpture thingy they had there (Do you see? No? Never mind) -

People often say that some of the good things about getting older are that you lose a lot of your insecurities, you become more confident in yourself, and you care less what other people think about you. All that is true, but what really made me write this post was a realisation I had yesterday. I went to an audition for a little part in a TV advert. The other people auditioning were all around my age, and whilst in the waiting room we smiled and said hello and goodbye to each other as people arrived and left, we exchanged a couple of compliments about clothing or hair, wished each other good luck, commented on the weather etc. Nothing major, but it was all quite relaxed. I have only just got back into acting over the last 6 months or so. The last time I properly attended auditions and castings of this type was in my late 20s, and attending auditions with people in their 20s was very different – the girls eyed each other up and down passing harsh judgments (or if they didn’t, then you felt that they were which was as bad!), girls were bitching amongst themselves about others, any pleasantries that were exchanged felt false, it was a brutal and scary place to be in an audition waiting room at that age.

Of course I’m not saying that every person in their 20s is bitchy and insecure, and every person in their 40s is kind and confident, of course not, there are all types of people in all the age groups. But my personal experience and perception is that generally, when you get to our age, you realise that life is much better if you’re warm and pleasant to others, and just accept yourself for who you are, warts and all. So for those of you who are still in your teens, 20s and 30s, don’t worry about reaching 40, it’s really not so bad. As for 50+, well come back and ask me in 10 years time.

P.S. The photo of me with the mirror at the top was taken last weekend at my friends Gretchen and John’s house. I shouldn’t just use a picture of their house without at least posting a link to their website which is all about the beautiful and unusual music they perform together: http://www.worldtreemusic.com/

Rules are made to be broken? I’m not so sure

Posted on April 3, 2012 by Vanessa Chapman

As you can see, last Sunday was a glorious day, so my son and I went for a bike ride. We’re very lucky to have this wonderful nature reserve near us. You can bring your own bikes or hire them there; you can just come to walk your dog or your kids; you can bring a picnic or buy something from the cafe; there’s also a playground area with lots of fun wood and rope things to climb on, swing on, or spin on. There’s some water you can sit by. But we generally just go there to ride in a car-free environment. Which brings me to the point of this post…

They have a long cycle track there that goes all around the place – you don’t have to stick to the cycle track, you can bike off-road across various terrains and through the woodland areas. The cycle track is pretty much the only area that has rules, and they are these:

- You must cycle around the track in one direction only (and there are regularly posted arrow signs to remind you of the direction).

- The narrower lane, i.e. the other side of the red line in the picture of me, is for fast cycling only (like the fast lane at the swimming pool).

- Everyone, adults and children alike, must wear a cycle helmet (actually this rule applies to wherever you are cycling there, not just on the track).

- You must not walk on the track, it is for cycling only.

At any time, you can cycle round the track and find people breaking every one of those rules; you will meet people cycling towards you, you will see people cycling at a snail’s pace in the fast lane, you will observe bare unhelmeted heads, you will have to dodge round the little groups of people walking with their unpredictable dogs and children on the track. I know it looks deserted on the photos, but I assure you we weren’t the only ones there that day.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe in blindly following every rule everywhere without questioning it, nor do I believe in wrapping kids in cotton wool to protect them from every little thing, but these rules are there for everyone’s safety. It’s not “Health and safety gone mad” as some people would say. When you have a track that is shared by professional bikers who are training, young children who have just learned to ride, and everyone in between, then I consider these rules to be sensible and reasonable.

This then led me to ponder on what the reasons are that people don’t follow the rules of the cycle track. I have come up with nine possibles so far:

1. They can’t read.

2. They don’t understand the point of the rules.

3. They don’t think the rules apply to them.

4. They are unobservant and haven’t even noticed that there are any rules.

5. They think the rule signs are just there for decoration.

6. They see other people breaking the rules so assume it’s ok to do so.

7. There isn’t anybody really enforcing the rules, so they know they can get away with it.

8. They haven’t witnessed anybody getting hurt so they feel this proves the rules aren’t needed.

9. They think the rules are an infringement of their civil liberties.

I happen to know, because I chat with the guy at the bike hiring shed, that when they first opened the track they didn’t have any rules, and those rules have been brought in as a direct response to accidents that have happened there. Yes I know that accidents could still happen even if everyone followed the rules, but it’s about reducing risk without stopping enjoyment. It just makes me a bit cross that people are continually showing blatant disregard for the rules.

People have often laughed at me for always wanting to do things properly or always asking whether we’re “allowed” to do something, so I’m wondering what you think here folks – am I right to feel a bit cross about people continually breaking these rules? After all, they are potentially putting me and my children at greater risk of having an accident, not just themselves. Or should I just lighten up a bit?

Just another morning

Posted on March 29, 2012 by Vanessa Chapman

It all started last night…I had gone to present a prize at an awards ceremony for the art competition I helped to judge last week. We arrived home from that around 8.30pm. My daughter then announced that she needed my help because her Easter project had to be taken into school the following morning. Easter project? What Easter project? It turned out that for the last week she was supposed to have been working on an Easter themed craft project. You tell me this at 8.30pm the night before?! I ask if something edible is acceptable and am told yes. We have a bag of chocolate mini eggs, so based on the available ingredients in the cupboard, we decide to make a tray of fudge – in the morning we will cut it into squares, press a mini egg into each square, put them in a pretty little basket with tissue paper and ribbons. Sorted. So we make the fudge and leave the tray to set overnight…

In the morning we awake and yes, you’ve guessed it, the fudge hasn’t set. No idea what we did wrong, but it is still almost pourable. What now? Think, think, think. Ah ha! I remember that in the freezer we have some plain vanilla cupcakes that we made a couple of weeks ago, I whip them out of the freezer and tell my daughter to use the unset fudge as frosting for the cupcakes and then put mini eggs on top, then place them in the pretty basket with tissue paper and ribbons. Sorted.

My son then wakes up and asks for breakfast. At this point I remember that I was supposed to stop at the shop on the way home from the awards last night to buy milk and bread because we have not a drop or crumb of either in the house. This rather limits the breakfast choices. Scrambled eggs and fruit it is then. My son asks for a glass of milk with his eggs to which I snap unnecessarily harshly “If we didn’t have milk for cereal then we don’t have it to put in a glass do we!”. Oops, there was no need for that. I have to take a few minutes to apologise and sit with him.

Right, time to make packed lunches. Oh yes, no bread. And I have no cash in the house to give them to buy a school lunch instead. Hmmm, what to make? I end up making them both a tomato and mozzarella salad, some cut up melon, and some left over homemade flapjack. I momentarily worry that it might not be enough to fill them up, but conclude that they won’t starve, and at least it’s pretty healthy stuff.

This is the moment when I remember that I was supposed to put in a laundry load last night because my son has no clean school trousers. I empty out the laundry bin, find the least dirty pair and sponge off a couple of mud splatters. That’ll do.

I had actually planned on spending a bit longer than normal getting ready myself this morning because instead of going to the office, I was having a filming day. Remember the welder’s outfit from last week? It was another day on that project; we’re making an educational DVD about different types of courses that can be done at college, and I’m the intrepid reporter who goes around trying different things out with the students. As everything this morning is taking longer than expected, I mentally start abandoning the plans I had for myself:

- No time to wash hair, will have to run the straighteners through it and hope for the best.

- No time to remove chipped nail polish and do it all from scratch, will have to just slap an extra coat on top and hope that there are no closeups of my hands.

- No time to do make-up, will have to take it with me and do it there.

- No time to print off amended shooting schedule and script for today that was emailed through last night, will have to hope that someone else has a spare copy.

Miraculously, we somehow manage to get ourselves together, and fly out of the door with a surprisingly attractive looking Easter project at 8.15am, just 5 minutes later than the ideal leaving time. The kids are dropped off at school on time, in clean(ish) uniforms, and with almost enough lunch. And I arrive for the film shoot on time. Phew.

Yep, just another normal morning around here.

Vanessa-Jane Chapman

40 something year old mother of two. Freelance writer and actor.