A list of silly things I’ve done – provided here for your amusement

Vanessa Accident Sign

This may surprise you, but amongst those who know me in real life, I am known for occasionally doing silly things – I can tell you’re surprised, right? Here are five of them…

1) I once threw water from a plastic cup at my ear during a particularly hectic morning at work – the phone rang and I grabbed the plastic cup instead of the receiver.

2) About 18 months ago I had a bit of a car accident, nobody else involved, I just lost control of the car on a bend. The car spun round and hit a barrier and sign. I took a photo of the sign afterwards which is the photo at the top of this post. Can you read what it says?

3) On one occasion I took my car to a car wash. The machine was just about to start up when I noticed that I hadn’t yet closed my window. I had an old car at the time which didn’t have electric windows. I grabbed the window winding handle so forcefully that it came off in my hand, and there was no immediate way to fix it back on. There were others in the passenger seat and back of car, so I couldn’t really go anywhere else in the car; I had to sit in my seat getting soaked. Of course, as you can imagine, the laughter in that car during those few minutes more than made up for any inconvenience!

4) During a head-first slide down a water slide at Wet ‘n Wild water park a few years ago, I was concerned that I might lose my sunglasses. As I crashed into the water, my sunglasses flew off and I managed to grab them. I was so excited about not losing them, that I failed to notice my bikini top had come down leaving me fully exposed. My friend on the other side of the exit pool was laughing and gesturing to try and let me know, but I just thought she was as excited as I was about my not having lost my sunglasses. So I just bounded (and bounced!) through the water waving my sunglasess in the air and grinning madly, right past the line of people who were waiting for the slide. I’m pretty sure they must have thought I was deliberately streaking because of all that enthusiastic bounding and grinning and waving of my sunglasses in the air.

5) While walking into a shop with a big open doorway, my foot accidentally kicked an empty Coke can into the shop. There were several people waiting at the till and they looked round as they heard the clatter. In hindsight, I should have just picked the can up to dispose of it, but no, I decided that it would be a good idea to kick the can back out of the shop first. I tried, but it shot off in a different direction, so I then had several more attempts of kicking it around before looking up, and realising from the bemused looks on everyone’s faces, that they clearly thought I was playing with the can, kicking it around, tackling it. It must have looked particularly odd as I was dressed smartly in a work suit and heels.

So there you are. Do share your own tales of silliness so that I know I’m not alone!

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88 responses to “A list of silly things I’ve done – provided here for your amusement

  1. Vanessa, why do these not surprise me?? :P I have so many to tell, I honestly don’t have time for them all! Here’s a couple:

    At work I was so hungry and quickly made my lunch. So hungry in fact was I, that I decided to run up the stairs. Needless to say I fell up the stairs and the edge of the stair went straight into my kneecap and my lunch went everywhere. That was fun. Don’t run up stairs kids!

    When we were a bit younger, myself and LimebirdSophie were walking back from school. She was eating a creme egg (as you do), happily enjoying it. It was icy that day and as was normal for me, I slipped, but as I did, I threw my hand back and smacked her in her face, causing the creme egg to start choking her! That was bad…

    Fun times!

  2. Last week while training for my new job, I almost fell over a flip chart… I thought I did quite well in the situation, but someone announced at each of the other training sessions so it was impossible to live down the embarrassment… so important to be able to laugh at one’s self!

    Like Limebird, I have far too many that I could share with you! Lol! Love your list, and the pic! Oh man…! ;)

  3. You are not alone

    and although I cannot think of any amusing stories at this hour of 6:30 AM, I enjoyed reading yours, and I am sure at some point today at work I will:

    * inappropriately use the “f” bomb,
    * possibly leave my fly open while coming out of the bathroom because I will see someone I know and shake his hand hello and forget to finish pulling it all the up,
    * and usually dribble the worst looking goo from my lunch on strategic parts of my shirt, and insist to everyone around me that it is not my fault, it is an inherited family genetic trait which cannot be undone. And while they are laughing, insist to them how I’ve tried everything, even surgery. And then while laughing myself, probably snort some food out accidentally even at them.

    Randy

    • If I see anyone snorting or spitting out a bit of food, or just generally having food down their front, I always say “Didn’t you want that bit?” (always makes me laugh anyway!).

      I’m finding it a bit strange though that you might shake hands with someone in the bathroom BEFORE doing up your fly! I’m getting an image in my mind that I think I might need to move hastily away from… ;)

  4. OMG! These made me laugh! I feel like my whole blog is full of ways I have humiliated myself, so finding a new one might be difficult. ; )

    One day, when I was at work (I was in my mid 20s), I had had a hard day. Everything had felt difficult, and I was tired. It was the middle of the afternoon, and I looked down: I had on two different black pumps–they were different heights and everything!!!!! That morning, I had been trying not to wake up my husband, so I grabbed two black shoes in the dark closet and went about my day. I finally realized why every darn thing had been so hard!

  5. I got a lot of 6:30 am guffaws out of this post, Vanessa!
    Here are three mildly funny things I’ve done.
    When I was about ten, my family and I were attending the rodeo parade (the Pikes Peak or Bust rodeo has been an annual event here in Colorado Springs for over half a century) and I had on jeans with a cuff (the style in 1950). I was standing on the street rubbing one foot against the other leg and I got my foot caught in the cuff and suddenly fell over. Scared everybody – they thought I was having a seizure!
    Otherwise, I seem to have problems with food. When I took my first job as a catalog librarian at a college, the Dean of the College had a small group of new faculty members over to his house for a formal dinner. I ate the wrong salad! I’m not quite sure where the salad is supposed to go, but I believe I ate the one on my right, leaving the person on my left with two salads and the person on the right with none. I ended up being quite embarrasses, because it was VERY formal!
    On another occasion I ate pickle slices that had been garnished with cloves. I ate the cloves and my mouth got numb. Afterward, my mother said to me, “You should have scraped off the cloves! They use to use cloves to deaden toothache!” I guess that was why people looked at me kind of funny when they saw me eating them!

  6. Ha ha! This made my day. Hilarious!

    I once cut my finger on a bowling ball…

    Then there was the time I collided with another car so gently I wasn’t even sure I hit them. She kept driving and I followed till eventually she pulled over. There was no damage on her car and we were tossing up over whether or not to swap details anyway, just because we’re supposed to. I asked her if I actually hit her. She just said “have a happy Christmas”, got in her car and left. It was then that I noticed my left hand headlight was smashed.

    And then…

    I could be here all night so I’ll quit while I’m ahead. ;)

  7. That was wonderfully fun. Thanks for sharing. In the spirit of reciprocity: a few weeks ago I was so sleepy when I got up that I tried to turn the light on by pointing the TV remote at the air conditioner. It took me a few seconds to figure out what was wrong.

  8. I can read the sign :) That one is epic.

  9. I’ve already shared some of my embarrassing antics on my blog, so I’m exempting myself here. I have to save face, you know. But you’ve just made me feel better knowing I’m not alone. I can’t pick a favorite–all five mishaps are so good–but I do love the irony of what that sign said. :)

  10. That picture made me laugh before I even read through your other embarrassing moments. And then each one made me laugh harder and harder. I think the bikini one was the funniest…and most embarrassing. One year as a teenager at a summer girl’s camp, I laughed so hard at one of my friend’s on a hike that I peed my pants. Not wanting anyone else to see my shame when I went back to camp, I willingly sat down in the creek to get the whole rest of me wet as well. It was cold…but so worth it!

    • The bikini one was indeed embarrassing – they had quite high security there, it was the Wet ‘n Wild that they used to have on the Las Vegas strip, so I often wondered whether it could have been recorded on a security camera and then brought out and watched regularly by the security guys for a laugh! (Well you wouldn’t delete that tape if you worked there would you!).

      Nice save on the peeing yourself!

      • I’m from Vegas, so I can imagine that scene well! They got rid of that water park–the dummies! I have a water park here in Idaho, but there’s none in sunny Vegas anymore. Sad.

        • Really? You’re from Vegas? I lived there from 1997-2001. Yes I heard a few years later that the water park was gone, and yet it’s a perfect place for a water park with all that dry heat, ah well…

          • Born and raised, and about 9 years of married life there before we moved to Idaho in 2006. Still have family there, so we visit occasionally and try to keep up with what’s going on there. I love Red Rock in Nevada, but am probably most in love with S. Utah and Zion, since that’s where my Grandma lived and was my favorite place to visit. That’s cool you lived there for a while. It was good we got out of there when we did though. The economy there has tanked.

            • Oh well you were still there while I was living there, you never know, perhaps we met!

              Yes, I loved Red Rock, I used to enjoy going to watch the outdoor theatre they would have out there in the summer. I did a bit of community theater myself, but not at Red Rock, mostly at the Las Vegas Little Theatre. And yes, I only went to Zion once, but I thought it was stunning. I sometimes kind of miss the buzz on the Las Vegas strip. Idaho must be very different!

  11. I started to laugh out loud at my desk at this, and I have a roommate, so I had to shush myself. It was not difficult. This post was absolutely hilarious. Did all these things REALLY happen to you? LOL LOL LOL. (I could have done these, for sure, but it’s funnier if someone else does them.)

  12. You could have turned each one of these into its own post. Silly Vanessa!

    I love the sign you plowed over–too funny! :)

    • I could have, but I have so many things I want to post about, that I’ll never get through them all if I spread things out into installments. And anyway, who does posts in installments?! Oh…wait ;)

  13. What brave confessions! Again, you report trouble with cars and again I’m ready to assist. Also ready to assist on the water slide.

  14. The accident with the sign would make a great comedy sketch. :) And I would have died of embarrassment if I was showing the girls to the surrounding public!

    One incident I remember is running into my senior math class just before it started. Everyone was already seated, and I tripped over one of the desks and dropped my books. Nobody got a bigger laugh from it than the teacher—who then tripped over his chair when he went to the blackboard a few minutes later. Always nice to share the embarrassment!

    • Even though the water park incident was indeed extremely embarrassing, the amount of laughter it gave us for weeks afterwards made it kind of worth it! I was still laughing about it when I was writing this post even though it was several years ago.

      Oh no, tripping over in front of others is always embarrassing – even if you hurt yourself, the embarrassment is always worse than any physical pain!

  15. Thanks for the early morning laughter! I really needed that :)

  16. How refreshing that I’m not the only putz in the world. At the moment none come to me easily–it’s almost 9:00 p.m. maybe i’m just tired. I wondered why everyone around me was so perfect. Nice to meet you Vanessa. We could do coffee and write a BOOK. . . *tee hee*

  17. Those were really terrific. Thanks so much for sharing! I’m certain I couldn’t top them. The irony of what that sign says!!! Love it!

  18. Wow, really funny! I laughed out loud!!!! Some really great topics on your blog. Thanks for sharing

  19. I think you have posted the funniest car accident sign there ever was — or ever will be.

    I had a similar problem at a car wash, but it wasn’t my fault. One of the whirling things got caught on my side view mirror. The mirror was wrenched into the driver’s side window, shattering it into a million pieces just moments before my car lumbered into the “rinse” part of the process. I think the workers set the rinse cycle to “fire hose.”

    So, covered in water and glass and a Turtle Wax sheen of rage, I asked to speak to the manager, who, to his credit, seemed more than willing to hand over the contents of the cash register to keep this incident from turning into anything more than it already was.

    • Oh dear, your car wash incident doesn’t sound as hilarious as mine, pretty dangerous in fact. I do like the ‘Turtle Wax sheen of rage’ though, I think you should to a blog post with that title!

  20. I feel like we are two peas in a pod! I’ve been known for doing things like this since I was a wee tyke! Like this one time when I was 8 for some reason I was real concerned about pimples. I just had to prevent them from happening! You know, like every 8 year old does. so I talk to my mom about it, tell he my fear of pimples and that I needed to stop them in their tracks! I swear she told me that peanut butter helped her when she was younger.

    So I grab a jar nice a full and smear about half of it on my face. Forehead to chin, ear to ear covered in peanut butter. I went back to the living room to ask her how long I needed to leave the peanut butter on my face. She asked me what I was doing and I told her getting rid of my pimples like she did when she was younger. She swears up and down she told me that peanut butter made her get pimples, but I still maintain to this day that she told me to smear PB on my face! I do remember it was fun getting that back off…… not!

    • Haha! I can just imagine you with peanut putter all over your face! I sometimes wonder whether other people do lots of silly things too but aren’t as open about admitting it as some of us are, or if some of us are just more prone to it!

  21. Very amusing, I really enjoyed your post. I’m a clutz and in University I was running out of a lecture hall to get something to eat and slipped and fell flat on my butt right at the feet of some guy who was just walking in. He later asked a common friend to introduce us, uugh so corny, I refused to meet him. And have thankfully never met him since.

  22. This made me laugh so much! Every one is my favourite, but the water slide made me remember, spending a few days at my parents’ this summer. I was swimming in the pool one morning they were out. They had a man who had come round to chop a tree down. He came up to the pool to ask me some things about where to leave the wood. I was standing in the shallow end. We both stood talking for a while. It was only after he’d gone that I realised one of my boobs had broken free.

  23. Those are fun, fun stories. I kept laughing and laughing. I think the bikini story is the best!!

    I have a horribly embarrassing story…on a date with some guy, we were saying our goodbyes (heading off to college, so this was a long kiss goodbye), and I had to sneeze in the middle of the kiss. Feeling the sneeze coming on I backed up from him so I wouldn’t sneeze on him. Thinking I was good to go, came back to him, ready to resume the kiss, when he made a face…and motioned to my nose. I hadn’t done as thorough of a job cleaning up post-sneeze and that glub was smeared all over. Uuugghhh!!! So romantic!

  24. How come i’m never at the water park at a moment like that???

  25. I’m still laughing about the car wash. Are you sure we weren’t separated at birth? Just last week I took my car to the carwash, opened the boot to get out my bag and left it open. The car started to go through and the car behind me is honking and pointing. I got out, got soaked, to close the boot but it had become stuck under the roller. The whole machine shut down and a very cranky man came out to tell me what I had done….thanks for explaining the obvious Mr Car Wash man.

  26. Pingback: Part two of silly things (and it’s not just me this time) | Vanessa-Jane Chapman

  27. Pingback: Blogroll Inductee – Vanessa Chapman | A Clown On Fire

  28. The magnificient™ Le Clown brought me here. These stories are magnificent™. I never do silly things. When I fell over a bicycle rack with one half of my body on each side, I knew that I looked quite impressive.

    • Ah yes, the magnificent one does a magnificent job of blog sharing around the place! Nice to see you over here, and I think I’ve seen the photos of you draped over the bicycle rack…

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