I Am The Wise Woman of Fudge

Oh yes I am. I might not be the first person you think to turn to for your fudge problems (you do have fudge problems right?), but believe me, people are flocking in their thousands to hear what I have to say about fudge. Have a look at the top section of my blog’s page views for the last seven days:

Picture 16

That’s right, you’re not misreading it. In the last seven days, a post I wrote 15 months ago in September 2012, entitled What DO you do about fudge that hasn’t set? received 2067 views, that’s not the all time views, nope, that’s just the views in the last seven days. Compare that to the very paltry numbers who viewed my other posts in the last week, and it’s even more impressive. And look at the search engine terms that have brought people to my blog in the last 7 days. Hard to find any that aren’t about problems with fudge amongst the list; sorry it’s so long, blame the fudge-problemed amongst us, not me! Take a deep breath, see you at the bottom…

Search terms VJC blog

Phew, you made it to the end, well done. Just be grateful that the 817 ‘Unknown search terms’ aren’t known or we’d be here all night! That post has consistently had views every day, and in fact inspired me to set up my Sugarness blog in January of this year. The figures aren’t always this high though, they peak leading up to Valentine’s Day, and Easter, and…ooh what’s that other one? You know the one…the occasion that’s  coming up soon I think..oh what is it?! Nope, can’t think of it. Anyway, it peaks during those times, but even outside of those times it always gets daily views. If I’d known quite how popular that post was going to be though, I might have gone for a better image at the top of it, instead of something which looks like someone has had an unpleasant toilet accident. (* UPDATE – I’ve now changed the image on that post to an altogether nicer one).

I actually wrote that post in the first place because I had noticed that a previous post I had written, where I had merely mentioned unsetting fudge, was receiving lots of views via search engine terms relating to fudge, and so I felt I needed to provide more information as a service to the fudgically-challenged. And so take it from me, fudge is where it’s at. Who knew so many people were having these problems? And who knew that I would be the one they would turn to for help?

I keep thinking that if I had a good business head, there might be a way I could capitalise on all these people coming to me with their fudge problems. Any ideas on that? Or do you have any fudge problems of your own that I can help with? Don’t be shy, we’re all friends here, and after all, I am the wise woman of fudge…

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80 responses to “I Am The Wise Woman of Fudge

  1. What fun to have so many visitors, no matter the reason! And who could ever predict what will be popular? I tend to get people searching for God or (oddly) drag queens… but the most visited post is about what to say to someone with Cancer. There’s no seasonality to that one. You are the Queen of Fudge! Merry Christmas!

  2. You’re obviously providing a badly needed public service, Vanessa. Who knew there were so many people requiring fudge assistance? I’ve never tried making fudge, I’ve heard too many horror stories of how it won’t set up properly if the humidity is too high, too low, if it’s too hot, too cold, if it’s a Tuesday, or it’s a month with the letter “A” in it. But now that you are the Wise Woman of Fudge, maybe I’ll give it a shot.

    And of the search terms, my favorite is “kids eaten chocolate which has been nibbled on by a mouse.”

    Also, I had no idea you had a desserty blog! I am now following you and will be enjoying!

  3. Hmm, Vanessa, are you sure you want to me known as the Queen of Fudge?… ;)

    As always, you make me laugh. Great post!

  4. Congratulations! Are you sure you’re not fudging these stats? It’s unsettling or unsetting.The proof is in the pudding, so where’s the fudge?

  5. I just had to go and read the one about fudge. I couldn’t help myself.

    It was awesome. I have never had the urge to cook fudge, but reading your post makes me feel that, should the urge ever take me, I will be backed-up by Vanessa the Wise, Internet Buddy, Crafter of Words and Undisputed Friend of Fudge-Makers (V-WIB-C-WUFF-M).

    • Hello stranger! The funny thing is, the reason it all started is because the fudge I made didn’t set, and yet now I’m the perceived internet expert on the subject! Well, not the only one of course, but if you try it on Google and ask about what to do with unset fudge, or similar, I’m up there!

  6. I have this problem with my fudge that I was hoping you could help me with. You see when I …

  7. Among all of those fudge question, someone needed to know about uvula. I hope they found what they were looking for, and then had a piece of fudge to celebrate.

  8. That’s amazing but maybe not surprising, since people do seem to be interested in food and food-related problems. You might be interested to know that as I was rapidly scanning down the list, I misread “how to fix unset fudge” as “how to fix insect fudge.” I don’t have insects on the brain or anything! Ah, insects make nice crunchies instead of nuts!
    My only food-related post is the recipe for Bishop’s Cake and it consistently gets views, but only 382 total. My two all-time heaviest viewed are my analysis of Mary Doria Russell’s The Sparrow (1480) and my piece on Formatting Books with CreateSpace (2393).

    • That’s funny! You probably can get insect fudge somewhere, you can get chocolate covered ants and suchlike can’t you.

      I remember your Bishop’s Cake recipe post! I need to make that sometime. If I do, I’ll post it on my Sugarness blog, and I’ll give you a shout out.

  9. Fudge and I have been strangers for years. You’re making me rethink, Vanessa, but I’m afraid I’ll fail after all this time and have to call you for h.e.l.p. “Why doesn’t my fudge set?” :-P

  10. Of COURSE people are looking for answers about fudge. Fudge rules- are you kidding me? I would much rather read about fudge than just about anything else. Unless fudge was some quasi sexual term, “fudge won’t harden” *winks saucily*.
    There’s actually a way we can find out what search terms were used to find our posts. I’m afraid to look…

    • Yes, some of the fudge search terms do sometimes seem a bit…like they’re not actually about the kind of fudge I’m talking about! Don’t you look at your search terms in your stats? I regularly look at time, they’re a source of great amusement!

      • *bites lip seductively* Ooh, cause the fudge I’m talking about hardens easily…

        WTF!!

        No, I’m a newbie. I wrote a post about the blogging superstars who I follow, like you, my dear. Especially the lady bloggers who gave me the courage to start blogging. I’ve no idea about search terms in my stats.

        I have much to learn. I suppose tagging my posts would generate followers? I’ve no idea. I’m happy when I have a good hair day.

        • I’m going to come over and check you out within the next few days! Yes, definitely tagging helps, the main thing though is to be active in terms of interacting on other blogs, like you’re doing here, and then people come back and check you out, like I’m going to! Good luck with your blog.

  11. I have a post on a ore train that travels from Kathu to Saldanabay which has set a few world wide records… I made this post as I had nothing else to post on and it now gets 4 to 5 hits every day from Google searches… now I feel responsible for something I actually knew very little about when I set the post… I had an article on Street Articles that I wrote a year ago and once again it gets read everyday by people from all over… who knew this would happen when one wrote these posts…

    • It is fascinating which posts generate the most interest isn’t it! My fudge one has consistently featured in the stats since I posted it, and like I said, because it’s a seasonal thing it peaks at different times!

  12. O, Wise Woman of Fudge, you’re so brilliant with fudge, I am hoping you can help me with a serious problem. What can I do about the harder-than-rocks caramel bits in my turtle blondies? My sister-in-law broke her tooth eating one.

    Yours sincerely,
    Stressed Over Caramel

  13. That is hilarious! Maybe your new blog will be such a hit that you will have to write an advice book on cooking…:)

    To change your primary photo, while in the edit box of your post… look at the bottom right corner. There is a space that asks if you want to set the primary image. Select an image or create a new one if all of them were not so great, then upload, update and post.

    • The Sugarness has been going for almost a year, so it’s not that new, but I haven’t properly invested enough time in it, it just ticks away there.

      The thing is about changing the photo, I’m worried about changing anything on there in case it affects it’s Google popularity (I’m not sure how it would, but then I worry about taking the risk!).

      • It shouldn’t change anything in terms of Google. All of your tags and such are still the same. It justs allows you to have a more appealing first look.

        • Ok, you’ve convinced me, I’ll change the pic over the weekend. In fact I’m going to make some fudge at the weekend to put the recipe on my Sugarness blog, so I’ll see if I can get a good pic of that and then put it on the fudge post here, then it’ll be actual evidence of my fudge-making right there!

  14. Fabulous post … so good job on catching the oddity – and then turning it into a post! … Knowing that fudge is associated with the holidays, I have a holiday bash on Saturday … and I see something with your name on it … and your friends are welcome, too!

  15. This only a test! Trying to see if I figured out a way for WP to allow me to post comments again.

  16. Ah! Got it finally! I’m in WP with my user name termitespeaker, so I may turn up that way from now on

    • Ah yes, that works! The only trouble is, it doesn’t link back to your blog in any way. You need to add a link to your blog/s into your gravatar profile so that if if anyone clicks on your photo, they can find your blog/s that way – like mine does, for ages it didn’t because I hadn’t realised about doing that!

  17. I especially like the search phrases, “cluster of holes,” “why i loved the first friends episode,” and “cat hierarchy.” Surely this is ALL about fudge! Excuse me, I’ve got to go check on my setting fudge…

    Cookbooks are the top sellers in any bookstore. They keep brick n mortar bookstores afloat. I suggest you write a fudge cookbook. When you make your millions, just remember who sent you along this profitable path! :D

  18. Dang! Even when I was Freshly Pressed I didn’t get those numbers! I bow to your bloggy greatness.

    And your greatness gets even greater when you factor in the term “fudgically-challenged.” That’s certainly worthy of another bow; this time my forehead is touching the floor.

    • No, my Freshly Pressed post didn’t reach the numbers this one does. After the initial flurry, my FP one only gets the occasional visitor now, whereas the fudge one has been consistently getting visitors every day for the 15 months it’s been up. Hey, thank you for the Christmas greetings, safely arrived ;) That was a lovely surprise.

  19. The search terms “fudge” and “cookies” make a huge spike in popularity at this time of year on google trends. Maybe an e-book on how to make fool-proof fudge would help you monetize this traffic?

    • An ebook is a good idea, I could attempt to get it ready for the next big event in the fudge calendar – Valentine’s! Although that’s probably a bit ambitious with everything else I have going on at the moment. Maybe Easter.

  20. My search terms these days are almost entirely “unknown.” But of the few that do come through, most are for variants of “thinking clip art.” For some reason, my “properly” cited use of Microsoft clip art brings them to my blog. Not exactly what I blog about, though, is it? ;)

    • I always wonder why so many comments are “unknown”, I don’t understand why they’re not known! That’s interesting about the clip art, considering what a huge worldwide thing clip art is, it’s pretty amazing that you score highly in the search engines for it, especially as you say it’s not actually anything to do with what your blog is about!

  21. Isn’t fudge a great word! I didn’t realise it caused such consternation amongst so many!

  22. This is hilarious. I think that it truly says something about you… another blogger I follow, Matt of “You Must Be This Tall to Ride” did a post about his search terms and they were ALL super awkward and sexual… despite the fact he tends to write about mostly normal things. Amazing. I think it’s like the litmus test for your personality or something ;) You’re so fudgy! I’ll have to take a similar look after I’ve been around a few more months, though I’m kind of frightened to know.

    • I’m fudgy! :) Don’t you look at your stats then? I look regularly, particularly at the search terms, they’re a source of great amusement! There was one a while ago that was something like “can vanessa really make my fudge hard for me”. Erm…

      • Haha! Yes, I do look at them but I don’t get a ton of search engine traffic yet… mostly though it’s “I think my boyfriend is gay” and “should I date an older man,” in which case they have come to the right place! Answers: Yes, he probably is and NO DON’T!

  23. That’s so cool (and funny). Oh, and I am salivating after glancing over your Sugarness blog. Yummy! I didn’t know you did that blog…but am glad I do now. Sugar and spice…and all things nice (that’s what I’m made of…my mom told me when I was a little child)

  24. I’m OK for fudge…can you direct me to the Wise Woman of Taffy?

  25. That’s great, Vanessa! :D

    I’ve always found the backtracking of links and search engine hits to be interesting. Why do people come to a blog, what do they want to see? The fact so many amateur fudge-bakers out there have found yours is not surprising. Hopefully, they stick around for all the other cool stuff you write about, too. :)

    • I don’t think that those that come here for fudge necessarily turn into followers. I do get new followers every day, but I don’t think there’s a way to link those to the search engine thing to see how they arrived at my blog! I imagine that most of those that arrive by the fudge route are only really interested in the fudge info. But who knows!

      • I don’t know about that, Vanessa. That fun-loving, honest voice comes through whether you’re writing about what to do with mixed-up fudge or a family of dragons. We find places on the web one way, but we often stay for reasons deeper. :)

  26. Wow Vanessa, you’ve been holding out on us I see. You never told us you we’re a fudgologist & a mastermind in the fudgology field. And we have the perfect money-making plan for you. You should open a practice & serve as a fudge~therapist. Sounds to me, like there’s more people with fudge problems than any other problems in the whole world. You can treat those who have fudge-envy (gives men a whole new insecurity of something other than their….ahem! Well, you get the idea.) Those who suffer from fudgephobia & are afraid to make fudge having fears of the unknown world of chocolate. Those who suffer from say….Fudge-abuse. You know those poor cooks that get burnt when tempering their chocolate or cut themselves when making squares. Two years ago, there was a Holiday workshop in our town of Franklin, that was titled: SANTA’S LIL’ FUDGE WORKSHOP. Underneath the sign: For the hardcore fudgers only. Clearly we should’ve attended this so as to really get a grasp on the wickedly wondrous world of Fudge. But now that we know we have a connection. Perhaps we’ll just hit you up for our fudge-fix!! lol. Loved this post, sharing now, & wishing you & yours a Happy Holiday!!

    • Hey, thank you, what a great idea! A fudge therapist, I bet if I marketed that right I could get some clients for sure. The funny thing is, I’m really not a fudge expert, but all the hits that page is getting is making me think I should become one so I don’t feel like a fudge-fraud! (How many more words can we combine with fudge I wonder). Thank you so much for sharing the post, and wishing you and yours happy festive times too!

  27. It’s amazing that your fudge post gets more views than your Freshly Pressed one. I once wrote a post about Gaboon vipers that was my most popular ever until I deleted it. And I know about as much about Gaboon vipers as I know about…fudge :)

  28. You know what’s really weird?
    One of my first jobs was at, wait for it… Swiss Fudge at Maple Leaf Village in Niagara Falls!
    I know more about fudge than I’ll ever forget, VJC!
    No wonder we’re friends!

  29. Your fudge was a big hit at the party … they are fighting over the last piece!

    Happy Holidays to you!!!! …. and gifts of the season are under my tree.

  30. Pingback: Group Therapy: December « HACKER. NINJA. HOOKER. SPY.

  31. Wow, they are some seriously fab numbers. Who knew that so many people around the world had trouble making fudge?

    I think the previous comment about fudge therapy wins the day for the wise woman of fudge. :)

  32. This is hilarious! I had no idea fudge was so popular! You should totally open a judge Q&A booth in every major city. Nice to meet you! That Aussa is connecting people all over the globe : )

  33. Pingback: Waffles With Writers: Vanessa-Jane Chapman | heylookawriterfellow

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