Using My Knife as a Mirror, and Seven Other Quirky Things I Do

People doing strange things on a beach

This isn’t one of the quirky things I do, but only because I haven’t previously thought of doing it. Anyone want to join me, it looks like fun?

Last year I posted Five things I do that I wonder if you do too. Here are some more things I do that I wonder if you do too…

1) When watching cookery contests on TV, I worry unnecessarily that the food has probably gone cold by the time the judges get to taste it.

2) If I’m reading a book while out in public, I always read a bit faster than usual in case someone is watching and might think I’m a slow reader (no idea why I think they would care, or why they would be timing me, or what scale of average page read times they would be measuring me against, or what would happen if I fell short).

3) I always feel the need to apologise for my unkempt appearance to any unexpected person who knocks at my door to deliver something, sell something, or attempt to religiously convert me. “Oh, sorry my hair is a mess, only the cat kept me up half the night and so I slept in a bit later than usual, but I am going to wash it later before I go out – my hair that is, not the cat, the cat can wash itself.”

4) I make clothing purchase choices based largely on whether it is something I’ll be able to get away with not ironing.

5) I often have suspicions that I eat a lot more than other people do.

6) I use my knife as a mirror in restaurants to check I haven’t got spinach in my teeth.

7) I buy Christmas presents for my pets, and then won’t tell anyone what I bought unless I’m sure the animals are out of earshot.

8) If my chair squeaks, or a floorboard I’m standing on creaks, or anything else makes a sound that is even vaguely fart-like, I will deliberately remake the sound lots of times in a row, exaggerating the physical gestures required to make the sounds, just to be absolutely sure nobody else around could possibly think that I actually DID fart (the fact that they might think I’m completely nuts obviously doesn’t bother me).

Anything ring true for you here? Any quirky things you do that you wonder whether others do too?

115 responses to “Using My Knife as a Mirror, and Seven Other Quirky Things I Do

  1. These are adorably quirky… especially the reading in public thing. I don’t iron, either. I still think blogging is embarrassing and refuse to call it that, and always think others are judging me if they hear that I “blog.”

    Like

  2. Cheers to you being able to laugh at your own quirks.

    Like

  3. This is a great list! I do the reading fast thing as well- and I never iron. Ever.

    Like

  4. Definitely the clothing that doesn’t require ironing and I cracked up at the excuses for how I look when someone comes to the door. Yes abducted by aliens in the middle of the night and just catching up on my sleep.

    Like

  5. That was hilarious. I almost lost it on #8. I have to admit I do that Christmas present thing with the dog. It’s really quirky, but almost automatic. Too funny. But I don’t care how I look when I answer the door (if I answer it). Door to door salesmen and crazy christians drive me insane. I’m usually very rude. I tell the Jehovah Witnesses that I’m a Buddist if I’m in a good mood, and I answer the door. I wish they would at least leave pamplets that burn well enough to start a fire in the fireplace.

    Like

    • Well men pretty much look the same all the time I find, so you can answer the door without any pre-effort and look absolutely fine! I’m usually too nice to people at the door, I kind of give them the time of day even when I’m not interested, so actually I’m not being nice am I, I’m just wasting their time!

      Like

  6. 3 and 4 for sure!

    For #1, I love Top Chef and read that despite the fact that it looks like everyone is in the kitchen at once, they are timed to finish in different waves so that they all get the same prep/cooking time but the food doesn’t go cold.

    Now, you don’t have to worry! ;-)

    Like

    • I feel somewhat reassured by what you’re saying, but I don’t know if it applies to all the shows, and also, they still spend time filming the finished food before the judges eat it! But I feel a little happier, so thank you :)

      Like

  7. Referring to number 8… I’ve been known to say out loud when such a noise is made… “What doesn’t pay rent must get out” many people wonder then just what was the noise..

    Like

  8. I relate to all your quirks! In fact, I so relate, they don’t seem quirky to me! On #7, I not only buy gifts for my dog and don’t talk about it in front of him (because, really, we know our pets understand everything we say), but I HIDE said Christmas gift in the top top corner of my closet, so he can’t search and find his gift before ‘the’ day.

    Like

    • I know, we’re so funny how we treat animals as if they are human with things like this! As if they appreciate the value of a surprise present kept until ‘the’ day! They’d rather just have it as soon as we get it home really wouldn’t they!

      Like

  9. The food surely HAS gone cold! I think the same thing! And Kizzie gets birthday and Christmas presents. Without a boyfriend now, she might get a Valentine’s as well. Gotta love spoiling pets! :D

    Like

    • I also worry that if one person’s dish is very spicy or garlicky or something then that will make the judges not be able to taste the next person’s dish properly if theirs is more subtle! A Valentine’s present for a pet, now that IS a worry ;)

      Like

  10. I do the knife checking of teeth thing – and I know others who do the same. its sensible, no-one wants to go round with spinach in their teeth!
    When I am cutting paper or fabric with scissors, I find myself snapping my jaw open and closed in time with the cuts – why???
    When I see a white horse I HAVE to cross my fingers and keep them crossed until I see a dog – where did I get that stupid thing from, and why can’t I stop doing it? Quirky? its completely mad!

    Like

  11. Definitely 2, 4, and 8 for me. As for the first one, I don’t worry about the food going cold; I worry whether they’ve cleaned their hands enough time during cooking. After witnessing some of those shows, I’m not sure I’d want to sample the finished product…

    Wonderful post as always, Vanessa. :)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, I think about the cleanliness too on those shows, or if they’re leaning over the food and their forehead is all sweaty and I worry that it might drip in, yeuch! Good thing we don’t see what goes on in restaurant kitchens most of the time because it’s probably worse, they don’t have cameras watching!

      Thanks Carrie! :)

      Like

  12. Wait, do you mean reading out loud in public, or just silently turning pages?

    Like

  13. I love this post. I don’t know if mine qualifies, since I keep it to myself. At my office, all the women take half a banana, doughnut, muffin, from the break room.

    I know they’re trying to one up each other about how dainty they are. (They aren’t that dainty) It just freaks me out, and I refuse to touch any half they might leave behind.

    Oh, and I tell the religious door knockers I’m a Druid.

    Like

    • Well you haven’t kept it to yourself now, you’ve announced it on my blog! ;) Oh half schmalf, what’s the matter with them?! Like the women who go to a restaurant and say “I’ll just have a lettuce leaf with no dressing” Yum.

      A druid? Interesting.

      Like

  14. The two that resonate with me are No. 3 (you get over that as you age – you realize you’re lucky you’re still able to get to the door!), and no.4, which is me all over! I haven’t used an iron in years!

    Like

    • Haha, that made me laugh about getting to the door! I think people are moving more and more away from ironing aren’t they – partly I guess because a lot of the modern fabrics are made to not crease up so much. I often do a scrunch test on fabric in the shop to see what it does.

      Like

  15. For #1,I’ve wondered the same thing as well. Does everything sit fairly well? Also, how do the judges eat all of that food?
    For #4, I think ironing is a good reason not to buy clothes too. We can write or iron. I’ll choose write.
    For #7, I often suspect my dogs understand us far too well. They might go and try to find those presents – which has happened to some treats bought for Christmas.

    Like

    • Well according to one of my other commenters, despite how they make it look on the show, they usually stagger it so that everyones isn’t all ready at the same time. Yes I wonder how they eat so much as well, particularly during the early rounds when there are loads of contestants still in!

      Writing is definitely a better use of time than ironing, often our body heat works creases out of things anyway, or puts them in, either way ironing is a waste of time I say!

      I’m never quite sure why I feel the need to keep presents a surprise from our cats!

      Like

      • I think that is only true on Top Chef. For example, on Chopped, you see the contestants going past each other and interacting.

        Like

        • They could though have some cross over time where they are all cooking, but they all start a few minutes apart? I don’t know Top Chef or Chopped, we have different ones over here like Master Chef and The Taste, I know on The Taste for instance, they all bring their finished spoon of food to the table at the same time so it’s obviously not staggered there. Depends what they’re cooking, but some dishes definitely suffer if they’re not eaten right away don’t they. It is a worry for us viewers!

          Like

  16. 1,2, and 4, definitely. And some of those, esp 8, I think I may start doing. Not talking about gifts for your pets when they’re in earshot is hilarious! I always look like a mess when people come to the door. Once I noticed a woman flinch even! I simply don’t care. I hope that it makes them not want to come back!

    Like

    • Once when my daughter was little, I answered the door to someone and had a bit of a conversation on the doorstep, and they were looking at me a bit strangely. A little later I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and only then remembered that I had let my daughter put makeup on me earlier and so I had red lipstick drawn right around my mouth like a big circle, bright blue eyeshadow right up to my eyebrows, and dark red circles of blusher on my cheeks. The one time I probably should have explained my appearance at the door and didn’t!

      Like

  17. And what are those people in that picture doing anyway? Any idea?

    Like

  18. Iron? What’s that? :-)
    This is hilarious, Vanessa. I nodded to all the items. Quirky. You? Me? Naw. Well, maybe.
    I might add that I cover up when the catch comes in to watch me get out of the shower.

    Like

  19. Ha ha. This is so funny!

    I get stressed out watching food contest shows. I don’t cook, so I have no idea what their doing, if it’s under cooked, over cooked or what it might taste like. But in the end, if the plate looks good, I get so hungry!!!

    The noise one had me laughing out loud. Luckily I’m not in public as I read this (probably way too slowly for anyone’s liking)! :)

    Like

    • I do really like cooking but I’m not a very confident cook, so I get anxious if I have to cook for any visitors, or if anyone’s watching me cook, so I’m just in awe of the bravery of those who cook on TV contests like that – the pressure!

      You’ll think of me next time your chair squeaks ;)

      Like

  20. LOL this made me laugh. I don’t watch tv, or hardly ever so no I don’t get stressed. I read like I read, in public or not. I laughed at your noise thing. Ha-ha, yeah, I guess crazy is better than smelly!

    Like

    • I think the reading one is a definite sign of being far too worried about what others think! I’ve NEVER looked at anyone else reading and thought to myself “Gee, they’ve been on that same page for a really long time, what’s up with that?!” so why do I imagine anyone else is thinking that about me? Ha! Crazy is better than smelly, good motto :)

      Like

  21. You are a master. I am inspired and unworthy simultaneously.Of course, you are beyond being empathetic and a mind reader into codependency but you are un-apologetically so and that is why I pledge my undying devotion to you oh comedic mistress of the other side of the world.

    Like

  22. Yes, I don’t buy clothes that need to be ironed. My husband takes his shirts to the laundry and has them light starched.

    I don’t ID with many of the others, although they are tremendously funny. I went on a date once (way back when) where the guy did fart and then kept stubbing his toe on the ground, trying to make a noise that was similar. We only went on that one date.

    And now that I think about it, I’m more concerned about what the delivery person thinks of my untidy home than of my untidy self.

    I’ve seen other people do the knife trick, but I always forget. Ether that, or i’m eating with chopsticks and there’s not a solitary knife in sight when I need to check for the stray fish egg or seaweed.

    Like

    • Rebellion against ironing seems to be more and more common then. I remember my Dad used to tumble dry his work shirts and as long as he took them straight out of the drier as soon as it was finished and hung them up, he never had to worry about ironing them.

      Goodness, so the fart thing is a deal breaker with you! ;)

      The knife one is funny really because it’s perfectly obvious what we’re doing, so we may as well just get a mirror out and stop pretending that we’re doing anything else!

      Like

  23. Four and five.
    *nods*
    I’ve managed to get away with not ironing any of my clothes for a good 12 years, I’m certainly not going to start now! ;-)

    Like

  24. All of these made me giggle, but #4 I do for certain, #7 every big holiday (Christmas and birthdays), and #8, definitely. The weird bit about my #8 is that I work in an office by myself, and I still need to make excuses for belches and farts! Crazy. (No worries about sitting in my underpants if I get soaked by the rain and need to dry out my bottoms, though. Go figure.)

    What is that picture of, up top? Air-hornblowing? I’d like to try that! :D

    Like

    • We’re so ashamed of our normal bodily functions! But underpants? I hope you don’t answer the door like that?

      I think the picture was called “Hokey Pokey” but what a strange way to do it – kneeling down on the beach?!

      Like

  25. In Lawrence of Arabia, Peter O’Toole used his saber to look at his Arab frocks. I saw him interviewed once and he said that scene was totally ad libbed. I wonder why I remember that so clearly?

    I used to care about my appearance that much, too. I let go of it a few years ago and I can’t tell you how liberating it is.

    Sometimes, if I’m standing around outside in Manhattan, I’ll pretend to be in the middle of a phone conversation. Why?

    Like

  26. Very quirky, Vanessa. I do not iron, and I make sure to purchase clothes that don’t require ironing also. I refuse to iron my husband’s work shirts, so he has to take care of them himself. He says that if he’d known that ahead of time, he would not have married me. ;)

    Liked by 1 person

  27. I can’t relate. Not quirky at all. Nope. I’m utterly completely quirkless.

    Um. Just wondering. You don’t know anyone I know, do you?

    Like

  28. #4 is the story of my life.

    Like

  29. #1 – I do that. The other day I was watching one of those shows and they had asparagus. All I could think of was how it gets shriveled as soon as it gets cold.

    Like

    • Yes, and they spend all the time filming the finished dish as well, while we have to hear “Susan made petit chignons of seared lamb with braised asparagus served with lemon butter, and a potato and jerusalem artichoke mash caressed by the hand of a Sagittarian monk”, and we’re thinking “Just get on and eat it will you!!!”.

      Like

  30. Number 1 & 9 are totally me.
    As for 5, I don’t have suspicions of eating more than other people – I’m sure I do! Sadly, I’m getting to the age where I can no longer get away with it so easily!

    Like

  31. Sometimes you see them making a few dishes – perhaps it’s a “here’s one i prepared earlier” thing. And if they mess up one they have to mess them both up??? Just thinking randomly…

    Like

    • Sometimes I try and notice things when they’re dishing up, like that bit of lettuce is pointing upwards or something so that I can see if it’s the same plate that gets put in front of the judge to taste!

      Like

  32. The knife thing…I never thought of that. I always surreptitiously use the windows :) And now back to the scissors thing. My bookkeeper, who has to count piles of cash…when he’s done with some event known only to him (like maybe he counted out a hundred one dollar bills and can now put a wrapper around it), he raps his knuckles on his desk. Which drives me insane. One day I asked him why he did it and he said he didn’t know. Everyone has their own quirks, but in this case I just wanted to say, Please, please stop.

    Like

    • Yes I find noise quirks like that one so annoying! I used to work with someone and after she’d eaten an apple she would lick all five of her fingers on the hand that had been holding the apple in quick succession making an exaggerated smacking sounds with her mouth on each one, it was obviously some quirky habit but it drove me nuts!

      By the way, I just posted a couple of comments on your last blog post (following up on the blood pressure/cold discussion) and they both disappeared, so they may be in your spam folder for some reason – the second comment I made was just saying that the first one had disappeared, and then that one disappeared too!

      Like

  33. Well, your other two comments were just entirely eaten up by the Cyberspace goblin. They aren’t in my email spam folder or in my “to be approved” folder on WordPress either. Very weird. You could try again, but by this time, your thoughts have probably moved on! (Although I AM curious about what those thoughts were…)

    Like

  34. LOL. I’ve do 3&4 so many times too! :) I am going to use that knife mirror next time I fear there is something in my teeth.

    Like

  35. Haha I do the same when something makes a fart noise. And if i feel the need, ill use anything as a mirror, usually the phone. I used to have alot more of these quirks, but lately i really don’t give a damn what people think of me.

    Like

    • I’ve used the phone as a mirror too, but I never find it quite as good, unless you have one of those proper mirror apps! Yeah, I used to care what people thing about me more than I do now, you should have seen how long this list would have been a few years ago!

      Like

  36. Definitely number 4 for me, and I think I need to borrow the knife-as-mirror trick. That would be handy in restaurants when leaving the table to check in the bathroom mirror isn’t an option!

    It’s very therapeutic and refreshing to read these posts of yours, Vanessa. So good to know that I’m not the only one fixating on what other people might be thinking about me! :)

    Like

    • Yes, I’ve observed other people using a knife as a mirror – we always think nobody knows what we’re doing, but actually it’s quite obvious! Well, to the other knife mirror users it is anyway :)

      Thank you, we do worry rather too much about what others think don’t we! Even if we do it less as we get older.

      Like

  37. Numbers 4, 6, and 8– YES. Especially 8. It’s a compulsion.

    Like

  38. Number 4. And I would add to that, ‘based largely on whether it needs to be hand washed or not!’ :)

    Like

  39. hahaha if something needs ironing I don’t buy it, if I eat too much sugar I drink gallons of water thinking I can flush it out and when I am near the end of a book I am really enjoying I start to have conversations with the characters saying how much I am going to miss them. A BIT BONKERS, yas I guess I am. Thanks for provoking this, I am a new blogger and would appreciate you checking out my writing :) http://nikikiklibnur.wordpress.com/ thanks

    Like

    • Laughing at you talking to your characters saying you’re going to miss them! A friend of mine said that if he starts reading a book, he always has to finish it even if he doesn’t like it because otherwise he feels like the characters in there won’t be able to live out their lives! We all have our funny ways. Your blog looks interesting – may I suggest you write something in the About page because people often check that before deciding whether to follow a blog or not and at the moment it just has the default text ;)

      Like

Anything you'd like to say? Now's your chance...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s