When Kids Go Out Alone

Posted on November 7, 2012 by Vanessa-Jane Chapman

I usually keep my posts fairy light and amusing (they are fairly light and amusing, right?!), but today I want to tackle a more serious issue. The issue of kids traveling around without adults.

Recently, my 10 year old son took his first bus trip without an adult. It was just a 20 minute trip, he was with a friend, and they were put on the bus at one end, and met off the bus at the other end, so it was all very controlled, but I still felt a bit anxious. What if the bus broke down on route? What if a stranger tried to lure them off at an earlier stop? Over the last few months, he has been going out and about in our village with friends and no adults, and I still feel a bit anxious about that, but I allow it because I do believe it’s necessary for kids to be allowed some freedom in order to develop independence and general survival skills. When I was his age I was already confidently zipping around London on buses and underground trains on my own. People say that it was safer back then, but I’m not sure whether it actually was, or if it’s just that we are more aware of the risks these days. One thing is for sure, kids were much more streetwise back in the 70s and 80s when I was growing up. They were out there without adults and they learned to be resourceful and figure things out if something went wrong.

When I was five, my Mum moved to France and my Dad stayed in England. From the age of five, I started regularly traveling between England and France on my own. Of course I wasn’t just left to my own devices, I was put in the care of the airline staff and handed over from parent to parent. Most of the time it went smoothly, but sometimes it didn’t. There was one occasion when I was six, I had to take two flights, changing at a Paris airport. Something went wrong at the changeover airport and I was left wandering around the airport on my own. I remember feeling quite scared and alone, trying to figure out where I should go for my connecting flight. Eventually I approached a member of staff at one of the desks and they sorted me out.

There was another occasion when I was seven. Rather than fly, I was to travel from England to France by ferry. I was put in the care of the coach driver who would look after me on and off the ferry and get me back on the coach in France, to travel across country some way. All was fine on the ferry and getting on to the coach, but then the coach broke down. We were apparently told we would have to find our own way of making the rest of the journey, as the coach driver had to stay with the coach. A couple of adults took it upon themselves to take me the rest of the way, and so they took me to a train station and we caught a train. This was mid 70s, so it was pre-mobile phones. Waiting at the coach station, my Mum was told that the coach had broken down and that passengers were having to make their own arrangements for the rest of the journey, but nobody was able to tell her anything about me. All she could do was wait at the coach station, and hope that I eventually turned up, which I did. As a parent, that just makes me feel sick imagining what she must have gone through waiting there!

I think it’s a really tricky balance for us parents, protecting our kids, but not over-protecting them so much that they never learn how to manage on their own. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer to what age children should be allowed out on their own, each child is different, and parents have to make decisions based on their own children’s maturity, and other factors such the area in which they live.

I’m interested in any thoughts, from parents or non-parents? Or if you don’t like me tackling serious subjects on my blog, then lighten it up yourself and tell me a joke, and make it a good’un.

Why High School Musical was like the Pied Piper

Posted on October 12, 2012 by Vanessa-Jane Chapman

I’ve been meaning to write this post for several weeks now, but other post ideas kept muscling their way in and pushing their way to the front. Anyway, while the other ideas aren’t looking, I shall quickly write this…

A while ago, Kate (4amWriter), wrote a post about her concerns surrounding her daughter growing up and losing her innocence - http://4amwriter.com/2012/08/19/sunday-spin-growing-up/ This set me thinking about my own daughter, and her transition from childlike interests of fairies and magic, on to teenage interests of boys and the type of music that makes me feel old. As most parents of teenage girls will probably testify, the change can seem quite dramatic and sudden. One day the walls of their bedroom are adorned with pictures of fluffy kittens and Disney Princesses, and the next day the pictures have been ripped down and replaced by ones of young male TV stars and boy band members, who quite frankly should be wearing a bit more than they are if they don’t want to catch a chill.

Whilst I was pondering all of this, it suddenly struck me, it was all High School Musical’s fault! It seemed so innocent with its pretty songs and its pretty cast members; a place where wholesomeness and goodness win out over bad. Where was the harm? What I failed to realise at the time was that High School Musical was giving my daughter a glimpse into that mysterious, but oh-so-exciting teenage world. It was all sugar-coated of course to appeal to her girly kitten-loving self, but it gave her that stepping stone, that leg-up away from her childish innocent interests onto those teenage interests that all parents fear.

I remember one particular Christmas where her whole gift wish list was High School Musical – the DVDs, the soundtrack, the books, the watch, the bedding, the lip gloss, oh yes, anything her heart could desire was available under the HSM brand. And I, fool that I was, went along with it and bought her the merchandise. By the following Christmas, just one short year later, she had decided that High School Musical itself was now completely uncool and babyish. It was a pretend teenage world that no longer held any interest for her. But its job was done, it had catapulted her from one world to another, and there was no going back.

Yes, High School Musical was the Pied Piper in disguise. We didn’t stand a chance.

Three tips to stop the kids from eating your chocolate

Posted on September 28, 2012 by Vanessa-Jane Chapman

After all the scary spider and alien talk in my last post I thought I’d talk about something a little more pleasant today, chocolate. If you don’t have kids, then you probably don’t realise how tricky it can be for parents to indulge in their favourite naughty snacks when they don’t want the kids to have any. If you’re a parent, you know what I’m talking about. The frantic shoveling of goodies into your mouth while the kids are distracted by something, the secret stash you keep in the car. We have to get sneaky right? Here are my three tips for stopping the kids from eating your chocolate:

1. Find a really good hiding place for it

I’m going to save you the trouble of trying to find your own really good hiding place. After years of failed experimentation, you can take it from me that I have found THE best hiding place for your chocolate. Are you ready for it? It’s inside an empty cereal box, of a variety of cereal that the kids don’t like. You can then safely leave the box in the cupboard next to the rest of the cereal, and they won’t touch it. The added advantage with this is that if you’re bored you can amuse yourself by waving the box at the kids and saying “Are you sure you don’t want any of this?”. It’s such fun, try it.

2. Lie to them about what you’re eating

Of course you can only get away with this while they are still young enough to believe every word you say, and you should take advantage of that whenever you can. Try one of these phrases, or come up with one of your own:

“This? No, this isn’t chocolate, this is a brown vegetable bar”.

“Oh no, you wouldn’t like this type of chocolate, it’s very spicy”.

“This is a special chocolate bar that only adults are allowed to eat, you can have some if you want, but if the police find out you could be in trouble”.

3. Teach them about alternatives

Teach your kids that healthy snacks such as nuts, seeds, and apples can be every bit as delicious as chocolate…oh who am I kidding? I don’t even believe that myself. Ok, so it turns out I only had two tips then, but they’re pretty good ones right?

I know this all might seem very cruel, but remember it is for their own good – you don’t want them eating all that fat and sugar, not when you want it all for yourself anyway.

Happy chocolate eating!

Three parental confessions

Posted on July 29, 2012 by Vanessa-Jane Chapman

I’m sure most parents would agree, there are times where you look at your kids and think, hey, I’m doing a pretty good job here. Perhaps you handled a difficult situation with them well, perhaps they did something that greatly impressed you which you felt could be attributed in part to your parenting. Whatever the cause, there are definite moments where you nod and feel confident that overall you’re a pretty good parent. Then there are those other times. The times that you are not so proud of. The times where you short-changed them a little when it came to being a great parent. I am feeling the need to confess three of those times, in the hope of a little forgiveness, or at least in the hope of a little reassurance from others that they may have done similar things…

1) Bedtime stories – I used to read stories to my children regularly. I recently wrote about our favourite children’s books over at Limebird Writers – Oh to Write Children’s Books Like These. Sometimes however, my children would choose a particularly long book, and sometimes this happened when I was very tired and didn’t particularly feel like reading a long book. Sometimes therefore, instead of turning over one page at a time, I would turn over two or three pages at a time, with a swift sleight of hand that an accomplished magician would be proud of. At the same time, I would briefly summarise in my own words what probably happened in those two or three pages. And if I wasn’t skipping over pages, then I would be condensing big full pages of text into short succinct sentences. I couldn’t get away with this with books that they were very familiar with of course, and there were occasions where they would helpfully point out that I had missed a bit, to which I would reply “Ooh yes, good job you spotted that!”. Before you judge me too harshly on this one, please acknowledge that at least I was reading to them.

2) Clocks – I have already previously confessed to this one on my blog, but in case anyone missed it…one day when I was particularly tired and frazzled, I set all the clocks in the house forward by an hour in order to trick my kids into going to bed an hour earlier than usual. People seemed quite impressed by this one when I mentioned it previously, and not at all critical, so I don’t mind mentioning it again.

3) Childcare provision – When my son was seven and daughter 10, I needed to find some childcare provision for them during the school summer break. I found that our local sports centre ran a club. It was perfect:

- It ran daily from 8.30am-5.30pm which meant I could still go to my 9-5 job.

- As it was run by the sports centre, every day was packed full of sport and physical activities, which I love for my kids.

- It was literally half the price of most other childcare provision around.

The only problem was, it was for ages eight and up, and my son was four months short of turning eight. What’s four months right? You know what’s coming here. It’s not so much the fact that I lied to the sports centre about his age which makes this a bad parenting moment, it’s the fact that I had to tell him to lie about his age if he was asked. You may judge me harshly on this one. I don’t think I deserve forgiveness here; teaching your children to lie is pretty bad, and I still feel guilty about this one.

So there you have it. Feel free to join me by sharing your own confessions below, parental or otherwise, but please nothing so bad that it will put me in the awkward position of thinking “Should I report this or not?”.

Guest Post: Author, Nicola Baird

Posted on June 25, 2012 by Vanessa-Jane Chapman

This week I am delighted to welcome my first guest poster: Author, Nicola Baird, who is going to share with us some ideas for getting the most out of the school summer holidays. Nicola is a writer with two daughters (11 and 14 years), three hens and a dog. She lives in London where she blogs about low-carbon family UK travel http://aroundbritainnoplane.blogspot.com and thrifty, creative and eco-friendly ways to raise children, http://homemadekids.wordpress.com. Nicola has written seven books, see her Amazon page here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/-/e/B001K7R1UY and her website here: http://www.nicolabaird.com/

Over to you Nicola…

5 ideas for getting the most out of the summer holidays 
When the school term ends everyone in my house takes a turn suggesting about 10 things they’d like to do during the holiday. Lists may include big wishes like going to see a show, eating ice cream every day or getting a new-to-you outfit (i.e, in a secondhand shop or from Ebay). By the time there are 40+ ideas it offers loads of choice about what might be fun to plan, or do “spontaneously” on a free day when the sun’s out (or rain’s coming down!). We pin this list on to the fridge, knowing our youngest will keep reminding us if something still needs tackling.

We try to adapt the ideas to fit into the thrifty and eco-friendly way we try to live our life (mostly one long staycation), so no mini-breaks which need an aeroplane get added. With imagination these travel restrictions are no problem at all, see my family travel blog at http://aroundbritainnoplane.blogspot.com

Generally this family wish list can be bundled into categories –
•   Have fun
•   Learn/practice a skill
•   Stuff with animals
•   Trips
•   Time with friends/granny

Chores (eg, gardening, jam/chutney making, mending/sewing and cooking) don’t make it on to the list but I try to work improved life skills into daily acitivites without us really noticing.

Here are some ideas about how this summer you too could turn a family wish list into inexpensive, memorable treats or a full-day extravaganza – which don’t break the bank or damage the planet.

FUN
My guess is that climate change is going to have a big impact on my children’s adult lives. That’s why I’d love them to have a heap of survival skills, and ideally the ability to be generous too. To build up these skills, see if during the summer you can use the garden/balcony for a night sleeping under the stars. Try it in a hammock (can you borrow from a neighbour/friend?).
£-saving tip: Start or join a neighbourhood e-newsletter so you can get to know your neighbours and local area even better. This also makes it much easier to lend/borrow equipment that you might only want to use occasionally.
Eco-friendly skills learnt: Weather nouse, plus cooking and sleeping outside.

LEARN
See more Shakespeare – this was on my list (as a nod to the 2012 http://www.worldshakespearefestival.org.uk/). Lots of Edwardian and old-fashioned children’s stories include shows at home (e.g, Christmas with the Savages). If you can act out some of the best scenes or start using dramatic phrases around the house before you go it makes the play much more memorable. Here’s a full list of your nearest Shakespeare this summer: http://www.touchstone.bham.ac.uk/performance/shakespeare%20productions.html
£-saving tip: Joining The Globe, in London, being a family member lets you book tickets early (important if the talented Mark Rylance is in the cast) and also allows you to go free around the Shakespeare Exhibition – a wonderful exhibition and a great way to be a histronaut (explorer of past times).
Eco-friendly skills learnt: Worst case scenario, it’s time away from Facebook and gives a GCSE leg-up. DIY entertainment is a big part of green-living – could this fire up your kids’ imaginative play? Theatre is also something to look forward to, important in an age of instant gratification.

DR DOLITTLE
Animal training seems to be a new craze – from dancing dogs (Pudsey on Britain’s Got Talent) to rehoming hens. It’s also a great way for children to learn bravery and responsibility. Improve your child’s animal know-how by visiting friends with pets, talking to dog walkers, playing “spot the dog” with toddlers in the park, offering to pet sit when a neighbour goes on holiday, visiting or volunteering at a city farm (or equivalent country set-up), going to a county show or maybe adding a sheepdog training day or llama trek into the experiences you have during the school holidays.
£-saving tip: Learning to ride (or even to keep a dog in food, vaccinations, worm and flea treatments for a year) is more expensive than you might think. Is there a granny who’d be willing to subsidise lessons/pet-care expenses? This might make a great Christmas present, but would need some explaining now.
Eco-friendly skills learnt: Low-carbon ways to get around (riding) and planning (caring for a pet).

TRIPS
My kids love ice-cream, so where better to eat a cone than by the sea? Our dog loves it too (though many beaches ban dogs from Easter – September). Before you go, find an i-spy seashore guide (in a charity shop), check when it’s high tide and have a go making your own ice-cream (perhaps by borrowing a machine or getting a friend with the equipment to demonstrate).
£-saving tip: Go by train using a Family & Friends railcard. Or set yourself a challenge: could you bike to the beach?
Eco-friendly skills learnt: How far you live from the sea, tides, DIY cooking and learning how to cook a recipe with a friend and possibly bike maintenance.

VISITS
Could your child make a trip to Granny on their own? Or could they invite Granny to their home and be responsible for all the catering from the first cup of tea to the last spoonful of pudding? Or could they devise a treat grandparents or a favourite relative/godparent might enjoy?
£-saving tip: Not sure there is one, instead spend time making sure your children know all the travel methods they can reach their grandparents/relations (not just in the back of a car). Study maps, look up train times and even cycle routes and see if they can turn it into an adventure?
Eco-friendly skills learnt: Empathy, local knowledge, travel skills.

________________________________________________________________________________

Thank you very much to Nicola for guest posting today, and sharing her great ideas. Do you have any ideas for low lost, eco-friendly ways to entertain the kids over the summer?

I’m SOOO Embarrassing!

Posted on June 18, 2012 by Vanessa-Jane Chapman

According to my 13 year old daughter, I am THE most embarrassing parent in the world. I know most teenagers think that about their parents, but apparently they are all wrong, because it is me. I actually think I’m a pretty cool parent, you can see how cool I am from the picture right? Right?! Apparently though, this is the problem, parents shouldn’t try to be cool they should just be, well…parents. The thing is though, I didn’t realise I was TRYING to be cool, I thought I just was cool.

I completely understand though, because I do rather a large number of embarrassing things – I talk, I smile, I laugh, sometimes I wave, and once when we were in the car I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel in time to the music in front of her friends! It’s surprising she can ever show her face anywhere considering this ritual humiliation that I constantly subject her to.

My son seems to be a bit more accepting of my presence in public for now (unless I try to give him a hug or kiss in front of people), but I’m sure that will all change in a couple of years when he’s at secondary school. For now, however, I am permitted to go out without having to walk six paces behind him with a paper bag on my head.

I wonder why it is though that so many kids/teenagers find their parents embarrassing. I lived with just my Dad from around age 7 till 16, and I don’t remember being particularly embarrassed by him (and I’m not just saying that because he subscribes to this blog, teehee), maybe I was and I’ve just forgotten, but I don’t think so. Ignoring the photo at the top of this post, I’m genuinely baffled as to what I do or don’t do, or what I could do differently to make things easier for her. I’m generally fairly quiet and in the background when her friends are around, I’m pretty easygoing about what they do. She hasn’t cited my clothing or hair as being a problem (mostly). I do sometimes tell stories about things she did when she was little, and I guess that can be a bit embarrassing. Maybe that’s it. The stories. Hmmm. And sometimes I might dance around and sing a bit when she puts some music on. And I do like to try silly hats on in shops. But overall, I really do think she could do a lot worse.

Does anyone else have experience of being an embarrassing parent? If so, any tips on how to deal with it?

Two tales about my children’s hair

Posted on June 11, 2012 by Vanessa-Jane Chapman

TALE ONE:

This is my daughter. Note what a good head of hair she has…or should I say had? (Don’t worry, it’s nothing THAT bad).

A week or so ago, she mentioned that she had a bit of a knotty tangle in her hair. I’m ashamed to admit that I completely dismissed it and told her to just brush it out, despite her protestations that she couldn’t. Over the course of the next two or three hair washes, she kept mentioning that the tangle was getting worse, she couldn’t get a brush through it, all she could do was grab it and twist it all round into a big bun. Finally I had a proper look at it and, oh my goodness me, I’ve never seen such a matted mass of tangle! I made her sleep overnight with half a bottle of conditioner in her hair, and in the morning I set to work. I kid you not, I spent three hours painstakingly working through the matted mass. Quite a bit of hair was lost along the way – despite my best efforts to be gentle, some of it just ripped and came out. Some bits I had to cut. Mostly, she was very patient, but all the pulling and tugging was clearly quite painful. I felt awful for not having attended to it sooner, but finally she had smooth tangle-free hair, albeit a little less of it. This is how much hair I gathered up from the floor after we were done:

Despite the rather shocking appearance of this mass of hair, you wouldn’t know about the ordeal that her hair had gone through to look at her. She just looks like she’s had a bit of a trim. Phew.

TALE TWO:

Looking through some old photographs recently, I found pictures of my son’s very first haircut, which I did for him myself. I have no hairdressing training, but that has never stopped me from cutting my friends’ and family’s hair. With some of them, it’s just the once; honestly I don’t know why they make such a fuss, it’s not like it doesn’t grow back. Anyway, much as we loved my son’s tousled look with his blond hair and big blue eyes, we eventually decided that it was time for his first cut. Like most little boys his age, he wasn’t known for sitting still for long, so we had to catch him whilst he was strapped in his high chair after eating.

So this is him prior to the haircut. The expression on his face says that he knows something is about to happen…

Then here he is part way through the cut, clearly resigned to what is happening.

And the end result. Do you think he likes it?

5 Things I have grown to hate since having kids

Posted on May 21, 2012 by Vanessa-Jane Chapman

1) Stickers – All kids love stickers. It’s a fact. And they stick them everwhere. Nobody told me when I was pregnant about how much time I would have to spend over the next few years cleaning stickers off furniture, walls, the floor, clothes, myself, the cat. At 13 and 10, my kids are past the sticker stage, but last week I realised that I have not recovered yet myself when the dentist casually asked them if they were too old for stickers and I snapped back, all too quickly “Yes they are!”.

2) Balloons – Yes, they look very pretty strung up somewhere, and that’s where they should stay. For many years balloons from parties were in my house, under my feet. Or making that annoying squeaky noise they make when they are played with, which eventually ended in the loud bang that scared the wits out of me. Then there were the extortionately priced large helium filled mylar balloons which I was begged to buy. I’m pretty sure I could buy a small island for the cost of one, but occasionally I would give in, and would then be faced with the stress of stopping them from flying away. When they did fly away, then there were the inevitable tears (mine).

3) Making sandwiches – Again, nobody warned me about how long I would be spending on this activity. Every morning there are sandwiches to be made for school. Every weekend there are sandwiches to be made for trips out. The sandwich making is never ending. I wouldn’t mind if there was some gratitude for my sandwich work. But no, there are regular complaints about the choice of filling, or the choice of bread, or the way they are packed (yes, the way they are packed).

4) Cuddly toys – I don’t actually hate cuddly toys, I kind of love them, but that’s the problem. What I hate is how they have taken over the house, there are so many of them, but I just can’t bear to throw them away. Not when they look at me like that with those cute little eyes saying “Please don’t heartlessly throw me away like a piece of garbage”. I can’t do it, I can’t get rid of any of them. I blame Toy Story.

5) Mud – I can’t say that I particularly liked mud before having kids, but I was somewhat indifferent to it. The problem is, in order to get from the car to the front door of our house, you have to walk over some grass, and that means that for at least half the year, you are also walking in mud. My valiant attempts to control it by enforcing rules of muddy shoes to be left by the door, always fail miserably. My sticker cleaning days may be over, but my mud cleaning days certainly are not. You wouldn’t believe some of the places I find mud, but that’s another post for another day…

My love/hate relationship with boot fairs

Posted on May 13, 2012 by Vanessa-Jane Chapman

We decided we would sell some things at a boot fair today. For my non-UK readers who might not know what a boot fair is, just imagine a huge garage sale in a field, with lots of people all selling their stuff at the same time; by my reckoning there were about 200 stalls there today – the usual mixture of the general public and a few business traders. The disadvantage compared to garage sales is that you have to pack your stuff up and take it somewhere, so obviously you’ll only be able to sell what will fit in your vehicle. The advantage however is that these are usually large organised events that are well publicised, so you should get a much larger number of customers than you would with a garage sale. We have done several of these before.

What I hate about doing them:

1) They start so early – we had to be at our one at 6am today. Not good on a Sunday.

2) They take over your whole weekend. Saturday is spent sorting, pricing, and loading up the car, followed by an early night. Sunday, they finish around lunchtime, then you spend most of the afternoon trying to figure out what to do with the things you didn’t sell.

3) You have to make a choice between partial dehydration, or being forced to use the disgusting portaloos on site.

What I love about doing them:

1) You get rid of a lot of junk that has been lurking around the house. This is particularly good with the kids’ stuff. My kids never want to get rid of anything, but the lure of cash is a good persuader. They each keep all the money from whatever they sell of theirs – although sometimes they run off and spend their earnings at other stalls almost as quick as they are making it, so it can end up up feeling like all we have done is swap our junk for other people’s.

2) Unlike most other family activities, this is one that ends with us all having a bit more money than we started with.

3) It’s a great opportunity for the kids to learn some business/work skills. Together we choose what to sell and price it. They learn about customer service skills. They handle cash and give change. Most of all they learn about negotiation – at least half of the customers will offer lower than the asking price, and I let the children handle their own negotiations for their things; they used to just agree to any offer, but now they will often come in with a counter price, or simply refuse if they’re not happy with the offer.

4) It’s a really great place for people watching. The motley assortment of people streaming by, clutching their purchases, are very entertaining. A lot of them bring their dogs too, so it’s good for dog watching too.

Overall, as long as the weather holds, it’s a good thing to do. If you’re looking for the best prices for your goods, then you’re probably not going to get them there – people visit boot fairs for dirt cheap bargains. But if you just want to get rid of some stuff, and make a bit of pocket money, then there are worse places you could spend a morning, particularly a lovely sunny morning like we had today.

Rules are made to be broken? I’m not so sure

Posted on April 3, 2012 by Vanessa-Jane Chapman

As you can see, last Sunday was a glorious day, so my son and I went for a bike ride. We’re very lucky to have this wonderful nature reserve near us. You can bring your own bikes or hire them there; you can just come to walk your dog or your kids; you can bring a picnic or buy something from the cafe; there’s also a playground area with lots of fun wood and rope things to climb on, swing on, or spin on. There’s some water you can sit by. But we generally just go there to ride in a car-free environment. Which brings me to the point of this post…

They have a long cycle track there that goes all around the place – you don’t have to stick to the cycle track, you can bike off-road across various terrains and through the woodland areas. The cycle track is pretty much the only area that has rules, and they are these:

- You must cycle around the track in one direction only (and there are regularly posted arrow signs to remind you of the direction).

- The narrower lane, i.e. the other side of the red line in the picture of me, is for fast cycling only (like the fast lane at the swimming pool).

- Everyone, adults and children alike, must wear a cycle helmet (actually this rule applies to wherever you are cycling there, not just on the track).

- You must not walk on the track, it is for cycling only.

At any time, you can cycle round the track and find people breaking every one of those rules; you will meet people cycling towards you, you will see people cycling at a snail’s pace in the fast lane, you will observe bare unhelmeted heads, you will have to dodge round the little groups of people walking with their unpredictable dogs and children on the track. I know it looks deserted on the photos, but I assure you we weren’t the only ones there that day.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe in blindly following every rule everywhere without questioning it, nor do I believe in wrapping kids in cotton wool to protect them from every little thing, but these rules are there for everyone’s safety. It’s not “Health and safety gone mad” as some people would say. When you have a track that is shared by professional bikers who are training, young children who have just learned to ride, and everyone in between, then I consider these rules to be sensible and reasonable.

This then led me to ponder on what the reasons are that people don’t follow the rules of the cycle track. I have come up with nine possibles so far:

1. They can’t read.

2. They don’t understand the point of the rules.

3. They don’t think the rules apply to them.

4. They are unobservant and haven’t even noticed that there are any rules.

5. They think the rule signs are just there for decoration.

6. They see other people breaking the rules so assume it’s ok to do so.

7. There isn’t anybody really enforcing the rules, so they know they can get away with it.

8. They haven’t witnessed anybody getting hurt so they feel this proves the rules aren’t needed.

9. They think the rules are an infringement of their civil liberties.

I happen to know, because I chat with the guy at the bike hiring shed, that when they first opened the track they didn’t have any rules, and those rules have been brought in as a direct response to accidents that have happened there. Yes I know that accidents could still happen even if everyone followed the rules, but it’s about reducing risk without stopping enjoyment. It just makes me a bit cross that people are continually showing blatant disregard for the rules.

People have often laughed at me for always wanting to do things properly or always asking whether we’re “allowed” to do something, so I’m wondering what you think here folks – am I right to feel a bit cross about people continually breaking these rules? After all, they are potentially putting me and my children at greater risk of having an accident, not just themselves. Or should I just lighten up a bit?

Vanessa-Jane Chapman

40 something year old mother of two. Freelance writer and actor. This is my blog.

Category Archives: Kids and parenting