Category Archives: On words and writing

Not So Inspirational Quotes

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Words hugging a person

Last time I was ranting about urban legends, today it’s inspirational quotes. I promise to be less ranty next time. Anyway, it’s pretty difficult to engage in any kind of social media without being regularly inundated with trite inspirational quotes. Don’t get me wrong, there are some quotes that I too find inspirational, or at the very least they make me stop and think. And yes, I accept that we each find inspiration in different places, but it’s the formulaic type quotes I object to, and also, I’m pretty sure a lot of them weren’t really said by the people they are attributed to. A bit like the urban legends, I feel that sometimes people make them up for a laugh just to see if they can get people to share them around. There are key words that crop up repeatedly in these quotes:

Light, candle, gift, heart, love, friends/friendship, yesterday, today, tomorrow, happiness, journey, life.

It seems if you can string a sentence together that includes at least a couple of these words, people will like it, forward it, share it, retweet it, whether or not it actually means anything. I’m going to have a go at creating some of my own. And if you think you’re going to have some laughs here with comedy versions, you’re wrong, I’m attempting to create genuine sounding ones to see how easy it is…

- A true friend is one who will protect your flickering candle flame from the storm, while everyone else is trying to blow it out.

- Happiness means opening your heart to what is waiting for you tomorrow, and closing your mind to what broke you yesterday.

- When you fall, it is not always the first hand which reaches out to help you that belongs to the truest friend. It is the hand that never tires of reaching out, however many times you fall. That is the true hand of friendship.

- Love is a journey, it is a gift, and it is the brightest light that can shine on your heart.

- Tomorrow is two days after yesterday. Today is two days before the day after tomorrow. What matters is not what day it is, but which friendships light the path on your journey through life.

- The line between success and failure is determined only by living today for today, and finding your own truth in the brightest star.

How am I doing? Do they sound real? Are you feeling inspired? Would you like a bucket? Now I just need some pictures of sunsets and suchlike to pop these onto, and some famous wise people to attribute them to and I’m done!

Do feel free to have a go at creating your own inspirational quotes below. If you like a challenge, then how about writing one that uses ALL of my key words…
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photo credit: Robbert van der Steeg via photopin cc

This information could save your life

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Emergency phone sign

I don’t often get on my soapbox and rant about things, but today I am. It’s about urban legends, specifically the ones that claim to contain information which can save lives, or at least protect you from some kind of harm. It completely floors me why people aren’t wiser to urban legends by now. Some people repeatedly forward every one that comes their way, either by email, or on Facebook or other social networks, and it doesn’t seem to matter how many times you point them to sites like snopes or hoax-slayer, they continue to forward things without checking them out first. Sometimes I think they just enjoy the drama of the story but often I’m sure they genuinely believe they are being helpful by passing them on.

If you take nothing else away from this post, please at least consider these things…

1) Just because it states that the information has been provided by, or endorsed by, the American Heart Association, or a cancer research society, or the police, or the fire department, or any other authoritative body, it doesn’t mean it has.

2) Just because it states that the information has already been verified on snopes or hoax-slayer, it doesn’t mean it has.

3) Just because it states that it is definitely true because it happened to the author’s best friend’s secretary, it doesn’t mean it did.

Often people will say something like “I don’t know if this is true, but I’m forwarding it just in case, it can’t hurt”. Oh yes, it most certainly can hurt! Not only can some of the advice in these messages make things worse, but while people are following those suggestions, they are not doing what they actually should be doing. Here are a few examples of ones that I have seen going around

THE CLAIM – IF YOU HAVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN, YOU CAN INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF SURVIVAL BY COUGHING VIGOROUSLY AND REPEATEDLY. The information states that coughing will keep the blood circulating and help the heart regain normal rhythm. This is dangerous advice. It is true that there is a certain type of cardiac crisis where coughing, under proper professional medical guidance, can help, but attempting to treat yourself this way when you suspect you are having a heart attack can in fact make things much worse, and of course if people believe this information then they may delay phoning the emergency services, thinking they can stabilise themselves first. Don’t do it. For some real information on heart attacks, see here (a British site) or here (a US site).

THE CLAIM – ONE OF THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAYS TO TREAT A BURN IS TO COVER IT WITH FLOUR. No it isn’t, the most effective way to treat a burn is to cool it down. Most people are aware now that the old wives tale about treating a burn with butter or oil is wrong, but they are willing to believe that flour will do the trick instead. Covering a burn in flour will likely make it worse because it will trap the heat in there, allowing it to continue causing damage. There is another variation which claims that burns can be treated with raw egg white, this too is wrong, and this also carries with it the added slight risk of introducing salmonella to an open wound. For some real information on burns, see here (a British site) or here (a US site).

THE CLAIM – DRINKING FOUR GLASSES OF WATER AT THE BEGINNING OF EACH DAY WILL CURE VARIOUS DISEASES, INCLUDING CANCER. That’s right, not simply prevent, but cure. Seriously? People believe this? Apparently so. I don’t need to spell it out here, the risk is that some people could choose this method over proper treatment.

THE CLAIM – IF SOMEONE HAS A STROKE, YOU SHOULD PRICK ALL THEIR FINGERS WITH A STERILISED NEEDLE AND RELEASE A PEA SIZED AMOUNT OF BLOOD FROM EACH FINGER AS THIS WILL HELP CEREBRAL BLOOD FLOW. No it won’t. The main risk here is that people may delay seeking medical attention in order to do this first, and with a stroke, any slight delay can have huge consequences. For some real information on strokes, see here (a British site) or here (a US site).

THE CLAIM – KEYING YOUR PIN INTO AN ATM / CASHPOINT MACHINE IN REVERSE WILL SUMMON THE POLICE, SO YOU SHOULD DO THIS IF YOU ARE BEING ROBBED AT AN ATM MACHINE. Wrong. There was some technology developed a while ago to enable this function, but it was never taken on by the banks. The risk here is that somebody may try to apprehend a robber to stop them fleeing the scene, in the belief that the police will show up soon. They won’t.

THE CLAIM – DIALING #677 or #77 (OR ANY OTHER VERSIONS) FROM YOUR CELL/MOBILE PHONE FROM ANYWHERE WILL CALL THE POLICE. There is no universal number that will call the police wherever you are in the world. Some of the numbers touted will work in certain countries, or in certain States or provinces, but I repeat, there is NO number that works everywhere. So if you need the emergency services, just use the main emergency number for the country or area you are in. The risk here is obvious.

There are many more. So please, if any of these type of claims pass your way, don’t believe them or forward them on without checking them out first. And if you’re not able to verify whether the information is correct or not, then err on the side of caution and don’t believe it or forward it on; wrong information can do more harm than no information, and THAT my friends is information that can save your life.

photo credit: hambox via photopin cc

Anyone like dragon stories?

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Dragon cave

Earlier this month I entered a short story writing contest over at Legends Undying. The contest theme was simply ‘Dragons’ and the maximum word count was 1,200 words. I found the 1,200 word count quite tricky to work to because it’s a bit more than flash fiction, but not really enough to work up as much of a story as I would have liked. I’ve also never written about dragons or anything like that before, but I enjoy challenging myself with different types of writing, so I gave it a go! If you’re thinking that this is all leading up to me saying I won, then you’re wrong. I didn’t. But it doesn’t matter, I really had such a lot of fun writing it! I wanted to post it on my site in the hope of getting some praise over here to make up for not winning over there, er, because I like to showcase different types of my writing on my blog.

Anyway, congratulations to the winners! If you’re a hardcore dragon fan, you might like to check out the winners’ stories over at Legends Undying. This was my (non-winning) entry…

The Motley-Goons

“The boldest man in all the land, shall be the one who gets my hand. A dragon’s tail is what I seek, this task is not for one who’s meek.”

Princess Ariana stood in her chambers and read the words from a scroll. When she had finished, she rolled it up and giggled. “Gosh, I’m terribly clever to have written this aren’t I? Don’t you think I’m terribly clever Rose?”

“Yes m’lady, terribly clever, and terribly beautiful. You really should be marrying a prince, not a commoner.”

“Rose! You are speaking out of turn.”

“Very sorry m’lady. It’s just that last week you said you were going to kiss all the frogs in the land and marry whichever one turned into a prince first. And the week before…”

“Well I decided princes are silly and weak. I want a brave and bold man for a husband, and that is what I shall have. This proclamation shall be made. Men will come from lands near and far, to take up the challenge, and bring me a dragon’s tail.”

“Yes m’lady. Of course. Only…”

“That’s enough Rose! Now tell me again how clever I am.”

“Yes m’lady. So terribly clever that I can hardly believe it. So incredibly clever that all the wisest men in all the lands in all of time…”

“That’s enough now Rose.”

“Yes m’lady.”

And so it was that on the tenth hour of the following day, the proclamation was made. It came to be known as ‘The Great Proclamation’, and men from lands near and far set out to take up the challenge.

Unbeknown to the royal household, a family of Motley-Goon dragons lived in a deep damp cave, not two days walk from the castle. As you probably know, Motley-Goon dragons are the most magical of all the dragons. Even more magical than the Magical Dragons of Ore, and infinitely more magical than the Spotted Lesser-Toed Dragons of Roon. It is true that the Spotted Lesser-Toed Dragons were once declared the most magical by a pompous knight who thought he knew everything about dragons, but it turned out he knew nothing. It all ended very unpleasantly and the less said about that the better.

This particular family of Motley-Goon dragons was a typical one; there was mother, father (who was quite handsome), father’s brother, father’s brother’s cousin (who was devilishly handsome), and his aunt twice removed. Father always said that if the aunt twice removed didn’t stop being so difficult she would be removed once more, and as every dragon knows, there is no worse fate than being thrice removed. Then there was egg. Egg would become son or daughter one day soon, but for now was just egg.

The magic of the Motley-Goon dragons can be mostly seen, or rather not seen, through their power of invisibility. You may doubt the existence of invisible dragons, and that is not surprising because if you were to see them you wouldn’t see them at all, and so you wouldn’t know whether to believe what you hadn’t seen in front of your very own eyes, or not. They are not invisible all the time of course, they can slip in and out of invisibility at will. There is no greater magic power amongst dragons than this, and if anyone, such as a pompous knight, or a Spotted Lesser-Toed Dragon, ever tells you otherwise, they are wrong.

Motley-Goons aren’t only magical, they are also normal, and can do all the normal dragon things, like breathing fire, and being slain. I’m only telling you this in case you were starting to think they weren’t proper dragons at all. Motley-Goon dragons aren’t able to turn fully invisible until they are one year and four days old. They do turn partly invisible; every part except their tail, which is handy for mother Motley-Goons. I don’t expect you will believe that any more than you believe in the existence of magical dragons at all, but you probably should be aware that Motley-Goon dragons don’t believe in you either.

It just so happened that three months and two days after ‘The Great Proclamation’ had been made, egg hatched and turned into son. On this very same day, a young woodcutter by the name of Richard was heading towards the Motley-Goon cave in search of a dragon’s tail for the princess whose hand he sought. As soon as he entered the cave, the dragons turned completely invisible, and son turned partly invisible. When Richard reached them, all he saw was a small dragon’s tail. He couldn’t believe his luck, and reached for the tail. As he grabbed it, it began to thrash around. “Gosh, I’ve got a lively one here!” He held it firmly and made his way out of the cave, wrestling with the wriggling tail. Of course the rest of the Motley-Goons weren’t going to just sit around being invisible while son was dragon-napped, so they leapt up and ran out of the cave in pursuit.

Although Richard could hear a frightening noise behind him, every time he turned around he could see nothing there, so he ran faster and faster until he finally reached the castle gates. “Princess Ariana!” he called, “I have come to claim you!” The princess heard the shouting and emerged with Rose.

“Who are you? And what is that horrible thing you are holding?” she asked.

“It’s a dragon’s tail, I’ve brought it for you, and now we can be married.”

Princess Ariana turned to Rose. “What on earth is he talking about Rose?”

“You remember m’lady, three months ago you said you would marry whoever brought you a dragon’s tail?”

“Did I?”

“Yes m’lady. That was the week before you announced that you would marry the first prince from a foreign land who built you a castle made out of gold.”

The princess laughed delightedly and clapped her hands. “I’m terribly clever to come up with all these ideas, aren’t I Rose?”

“Yes m’lady, terribly clever,” said Rose, turning to console a sad looking Richard.

For some reason, the Motley-Goons chose this as the ideal moment to become visible again, and instantly appeared. The princess was about to scream when she noticed how devilishly handsome father’s brother’s cousin was, and decided to twirl her hair with her finger instead, because that is what princesses do when they want to look charming. Father’s brother’s cousin was not immune her charms. “My dear princess,” he said. “It seems to me that what you really want is magical adventures. Be my bride, and I promise you that.”

The princess clapped and laughed.”Yes! Yes! I will indeed marry you, how terribly clever of me to think of marrying a dragon!”

And so they were wed and lived happily ever after. If you are worrying about Richard, there is really no need, he ended up marrying Rose and they too lived happily ever after. And as for the Motley-Goons, they went back to their cave, minus father’s brother’s cousin, and I can’t tell you whether they lived happily ever after yet because ever after is an awfully long time for a dragon.

The end.

photo credit: Katherine scribbles via photopin cc

How was Lorna supposed to know? Win her book and find out!

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book-coverLorna Lee

Does lightning ever strike twice in the same place? It does if your name is Lorna Lee. To find out more, you’ll have to read her newly published memoir, ‘How Was I Supposed to Know?‘. This book will make you laugh, cry, and laugh some more. True tales of near misses and direct hits, and did I mention lots of laughs? Lorna has a talent for finding the comedy and the positive side even where there really isn’t any. Readers of her blog, Lorna’s Voice, will know what I’m talking about.

I’m going to put a pot of coffee on now, so please join me and Lorna for a chat, and if you leave a comment at the end of this post, you will be entered into a draw to win a copy of her book.

Beautiful inside and out, charming, intelligent, funny. But enough about me, let’s talk about Lorna (the old jokes are still the best, right? Right?!). But of course I was talking about Lorna. Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together and make some noise for the wonderful Lorna Lee!!!! Woohoo!!!

Hello Lorna, glad you could join us.
Hello Vanessa, thank you. Wow, what a welcome!

Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?
Please do.

Firstly, the obvious question – what prompted you to write this memoir?
Since I knew from an early age I ‘had a book in me’, it was either this or ‘Little Men, Big Problems.’ I already had piles of short stories about my youth that I wrote as therapy when I became ill with dizziness-blondeness (Chronic Fatigue). So I chose to go that way. Plus I needed to put the past behind me for good. Writing this memoir did that for me.

Well, you certainly pull off dizziness-blondeness very well. I wonder, what song would you pick as the theme tune if your book was made into a film, and why?
I ruminated over this question for a long time for two reasons: I’m not a music aficionado, so my selection of tunes is limited to songs I like to sing or dance to and none of those songs were perfectly appropriate for the theme of the book. ‘The Long and Winding Road’ by the Beatles is my all-time favorite song by that group and it connotes the twisty path my life has taken, but it’s kind of soulful and my book is upbeat. ‘Open Arms’ by Tina Turner is what I’m going with. It has a snappy beat. The lyrics are positive and upbeat, while acknowledging that life isn’t always that way. I’d say that captures the spirit of my memoir. Plus, Reggie (my cockatoo) and I used to dance to this tune all the time.

Yes I’ve heard all about your wild dancing nights with Reggie. Now, apart from the dizziness-blondeness thing, what road blocks did you have in writing this memoir?
I had too much material and didn’t see a way to organize it. Memoirs need a theme like fiction needs a plot. Once I settled on a theme, the book took shape. Then there were the days when I doubted myself. My illness is one that affects my ability to think coherently. I would be writing and stumble because I knew there was a perfect word for what I wanted to say, but couldn’t ‘find’ it in my brain. What kind of writer loses words? Finally, telling this story involved more than just me. I was concerned about my ex-husband and how he would react to my honest tale. Making the decision that this was my story told from my recollections and feelings, I forged on. If he wants to tell his side, it’s a free country, he can write and publish a book. Who am I kidding? He probably won’t even read the thing!

Speaking of the effect you have on others, if you were stranded on a desert island with a group of people, which skill/s do you have that would help ensure the group’s survival?
I sure hope that desert island has lots of shade, doesn’t get too hot, and has lots of fruits (the edible kind, not the looney kind). The only skill I could lend to ensure our mutual survival is my natural aversion to conflict. I am a peace-keeper. As a highly sensitive middle-child, I have learned how to anticipate when tension is brewing and use my humor and/or negotiation skills to avert conflict. We may be stranded, but I’d make sure we were all cooperating and being nice to each other.

Those are important skills Lorna. No shelters or rafts are going to get built if everyone is fighting, right? Now, looking back at your life, what advice would you give to your teenage self?
Use your unique voice, Lorna; don’t squelch it just to please others. You don’t have to put on an act. The real you is a show worth seeing. And get some help with that drinking problem.

And finally, and this isn’t a hint (although I am free on Saturday), if I came round for dinner, what would you cook for me, and what sort of entertainment would you provide?
I make a delicious vegan eggplant parmesan with quinoa pasta (gluten-free). I would serve it with a fresh tossed salad with a homemade dressing of aged balsamic vinegar and Tuscan herb olive oil. And my specialty: challah, which I couldn’t have, but you could. For dessert, a bowl of fresh fruit drizzled with mango sauce (no sugar added). Healthy and delicious. Oh, and Melbeck wine from Argentina (that’s Phil’s favorite wine). I’d have seltzer water. As for entertainment…Scrappy has an amazing number of adorable tricks. Maybe not a whole evening’s worth, but I’m sure we’d find lots to chit-chat about too. [Editor's note: Phil is Lorna's man, and Scrappy is her dog, in case you thought it was the other way around]

Sounds great! 7pm ok for Saturday?
Erm…sure.

Thank you so much for your time Lorna.
My pleasure.

Right, the giveaway works like this…
1) You leave a comment on this post by 11pm (GMT) on 31 January 2013.
2) I put the names into a hat and get one of my kids to draw one out.
3) I let the winner know that they have won a copy of Lorna’s book, ‘How Was I Supposed to Know?’ and they can pick either the paperback version or an e-book in their preferred format.
4) They get their book.
5) They read it and love it.

If you would like to buy the book for yourself, then this page on Lorna’s blog has the buying details – http://lornasvoice.com/how-was-i-supposed-to-know-a-memoir/

Well, what are you waiting for? Let the comments begin!

Author chat and a chance to win an Amazon gift card, oh yes!

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Make Believe Blog Tour ButtonToday I’m joined on the couch by three wonderful authors; they’re here as part of their blog tour for ‘Make Believe’, an anthology published by J.Taylor Publishing. And as if that wasn’t exciting enough, I’m also giving away a £10 (approx. $16 US) Amazon gift card to one lucky person who comments on this post! *

The authors are J. A. Belfield, Jennifer M. Eaton, and J. Keller Ford. Welcome ladies. They are three of the six authors whose stories have been published in ‘Make Believe’. I read it, and I LOVED it. All six authors certainly know how to tell a story; adventures and fairytales for grown-ups, what a joy!

Make Believe book cover

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Here’s a bit of info on the three gals…

J. A. Belfield

J.A.Belfied author imageBest known for writing the Holloway Pack series, J. A. Belfield lives in Solihull, England, with her husband, two children, three cats, and a dog. She writes paranormal romance with a second love for urban fantasy.

Her story in Make Believe: ‘Escort to Insanity’. Booking a male escort was supposed to be a simple affair for Nicole Harrington but somehow leads to the craziest night of her life—and Benjamin Gold is wholly to blame.

Blog | Twitter | Facebook

Jennifer M. Eaton

Jennifer M EatonJennifer Eaton lives on the east coast of the USA… where she pulls new worlds out of the air while juggling her knight in shining armor, three young princes, and a conceited poodle.

Her story in Make Believe: ‘Last Winter Red’. Emily leaves the safety of Terra in search of a husband, but what she finds outside the city walls will question everything she believes in, and the basic fabric of life as she knows it.

Blog | Twitter | Facebook

J. Keller Ford

J Keller-FordJ. “Jenny” Keller Ford lives on the west coast of Florida with her husband, two sons, three spoiled pets, and an endless supply of fictional characters desperately trying to escape her head.

Her story in Make Believe: ‘The Amulet of Ormisez’. When Lord Elton Fletcher returns home from war to find his brother possessed by a magical stone, he finds himself in yet another battle where the price of failure could be his own life.

Blog | Twitter | Facebook

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I asked the same three questions to the three of them, so while me and the gals sit here on the couch eating virtual Christmas chocs and drinking virtual mulled wine, you can have a read through their answers…

1) The book is called ‘Make Believe’, but what did you make believe about when you were a child?

J. A. Belfield – Um … how many people are gonna read this before I answer? Okay, I’ll ‘fess up. When I was waaaaaaaay younger, I used to do a lot of putting myself in the spotlight imaginings. So when I played on my roller blades, I’d pretend I was in a competition and do spins and stuff and pretend the crowd was clapping whilst mumbling commentary under my breath. Also, in our kitchen, there was a big square window right in front of the main work surface, and whenever I baked (which I did quite a lot) I would talk to the window like it was a TV camera and I was on my own cooking show. But seriously, don’t tell anyone. I have my rep to think of, ya know?

Jennifer M. Eaton – Oh!  Tons of stuff.  I was always on one wild fantasy or another.  I think I saved the world three times, and the galaxy twice.  Yeah, I was a bit of an under-achiever.

J. Keller Ford – I loved playing dress up, even into my early tweens.  I loved gowns with elbow length gloves and would collect them from thrift shops like some people collect trinkets.  I was a bit of an actress even then, and would often write stories and act them out for family and friends.  Yes, I was a bit eccentric.  I still read my stories aloud as it helps me to find unnatural words and cadence.

2) If you had the opportunity to do one of these, which would you choose and why? a) Travel into space. b) Time travel into the past or future. c) Swap lives with somebody rich and famous for one week.

J. A. Belfield – Eeeek. Well, I definitely wouldn’t travel into space. The mere thought of it scares the bejeebus outta me. I have no desire to travel into the past because what’s happened already should never be tampered with and consequences are there for people to learn from. If we had the ability to go back and alter every crappy decision we ever made, we’d never treat our lives with the respect they deserve. And I think seeing what’s up and coming would be a seriously dangerous tool for anyone to have. So, I’d have to go with ‘c‘ – though who I’d swap lives with would take a whooole lotta consideration.

Jennifer M. Eaton – I think I would time-travel.  I’m really into history… especially ancient Egypt and Medieval times – you know – knights and castles and all that stuff.  I’m sure as fascinating as it would be though, I’d be glad to come home.  I like my modern conveniences… and writing a novel with a feather dipped in ink sounds painful.

J. Keller Ford – Hmm, time travel, definitely.  I would love to go back to June 13, 1886 to Berg Castle in Germany and find out how King Ludwig II actually died.  Was it suicide?  Murder?  If only Lake Starnberg could talk.

3) How would your closest friends describe you?

J. A. Belfield – Probably as slightly vacant and nuttier than the nuttiest fruit cake. Ha!

Jennifer M. Eaton – Ha!  Unpredictable. I’m one of those really quiet people who pops up and surprises you once in a while.  I have a very wild side, but I keep it under wraps with the hubby and kids… well, my oldest son is starting to see it.  Yeah, I am the mad woman who ran through a corn field with my kids a few weeks ago doing research for my novel.  My youngest was afraid we’d get arrested… okay… maybe I cut loose with my kids too.  Don’t tell my husband. :-)

J. Keller Ford – Don’t know, so I asked.  From the mouth of one of my best friends: “Jenny is passionately stubborn, overly-trusting, loving, moody, impulsive, weird, imaginative and a free spirit who forgets on a daily basis how amazingly wonderful and beautiful she is, both inside and out.” Yeah, ok.  *blush*

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* Amazon gift card giveaway info/rules

1) Leave an interesting/funny/sparkling comment on this post by 11pm (GMT) on Friday 28 December (actually, dull and uninteresting comments have just as much chance of winning – it’s random!).

2) After the closing date, I will put all the names in a hat and ask one of Santa’s elves to randomly pick one out. In the unlikely event of my not being able to find an elf, I will ask one of my children to randomly pick a winner out of the hat. I will select which of my children will do this by asking one of Santa’s elves to randomly pick one of them. Oh no…wait. Well it’ll be random anyway.

3) The lucky winner will be notified and will receive a £10 Amazon gift card. If the winner is outside of the UK, I will check the currency exchange rate applicable on 28 December and will get an Amazon gift card closest to that amount from the relevant country’s Amazon website.

4) The lucky recipient will spend the gift card at Amazon on whatever they like. As a completely random suggestion, plucked out of nowhere, they could buy an anthology, such as ‘Make Believe‘.

You’ve got one week people, so get commenting! Additionally, I am informed that random commenters throughout the blog tour will receive ebook copies of either ‘For the Love of Christmas’ (another anthology which includes a story by Jennifer M. Eaton) or ‘Make Believe’, so even more reason to comment.

And follow this Rafflecopter link for even MORE chances to win – a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thank you so much for your time ladies. I wish you, and all my readers, a very Merry Christmas!

Candy cane with holly

Love letters, they’re not meant to be funny, but…

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I love you

Lately, my blogging circle has been buzzing with much talk about the demise of handwriting. First Robin Coyle asked Is Cursive Handwriting Dead? Her post was so on-point that WordPress decided to Freshly Press it, oh yes, go Robin!

Then Anne Woodman asked us to celebrate her Unofficial Handwrite-a-Letter Day

On Anne’s post, I made a comment about love letters; those treasures that used to be kept in a pretty box, tied up with a ribbon and stashed somewhere secret and safe. I never had such a box myself, but that doesn’t stop me feeling nostalgic about them; I’m sure they are a rarity now in our world of electronic communication.

All this talk reminded me of a couple of amusing love letter incidents. A friend of mine had one of those stashed boxes of love letters that I mentioned above. She dug it out one day and it was full of love letters she had been sent as a teenager. We had a very jolly afternoon laughing our way through them. I can’t remember most of them, but two particular snippets stuck in my mind -

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LETTER 1 – Dear Lucy, I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, love you. I love you so much that it hurts, and if I’ve made any spelling mistakes in this letter, please feel free to correct them.

LETTER 2 – Dear Lucy, last time I saw you, you said you were worried about me because I keep doing dangerous things. I really don’t know what you mean by that, I can only think of one occasion and that’s when I set light to my hand, which isn’t particularly dangerous.

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When my daughter was 10, she came home from school on Valentine’s Day, very excited to show me a Valentine card she had been given by a boy at school. At first I was impressed, the card was handmade, and he had clearly gone to a lot of effort, with declarations of eternal love and carefully drawn hearts. Then I opened the card and was startled to see a different girl’s name inside which had been crossed out, and then my daughter’s name written next to it. I asked her about it, and she said casually, “Oh yes, well he gave the card to her first, but she didn’t want it, so he gave it to me.” She clearly considered this to be a stroke of luck for her. “Hmph, what a chancer!” I said. She looked at me slightly confused. I couldn’t work out whether it was my daughter, or the boy, who had the most to learn, but after some consideration I decided there was plenty of time for all that when she was older. So I let her enjoy the moment, and said nothing more.

Do you have any love letter stories to share? Or would you just like to tell me how much you enjoyed mine? Because that’s fine too.

I did it! I completed NaNoWriMo! Well…sort of…

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NaNoWriMo badge

Not all of my blog followers are writers or bloggers themselves, so a brief explanation – NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month. It’s a challenge to write a 50,000 word novel in one month. It happens every November. There is a website which offers support, encouragement, and verification of your word count. If you complete the 50,000 words, you are deemed a winner. The website is: http://www.nanowrimo.org/

The idea is that you tell your internal editor to take a hike, and you rattle your way through it, trying hard not to judge your writing, or to look backwards, just keep going forwards. Plenty of time for editing once November is finished.

Before I explain why I said I ‘sort of’ did it, let me answer a few of the other questions that you’re no doubt desperate to ask me…

Why did I do it?

I’ve done lots of different types of writing, but had never written a novel. Like most people, it was on my list of things I’d like to do, but it just felt like such an onerous thing to tackle. I work best to a deadline, so this seemed the ideal opportunity to have a go. There was a strict deadline, and it also brought out my competitive side because you have buddies on the NaNo website (a bit like facebook friends), and you can monitor how others are doing with their word counts along the way. I also wanted to see if I had it in me to write a large volume in a short space of time. Even if I ended up with a complete load of trash, I would only have invested a month in it. Nothing to lose by giving it a go right?

How did I do it?

I work full time, I have children, I have lots of other things going on in my life, how did I find the time to write the 1,500 – 2,000 words a day required? I just muscled my way in with my elbows and squeezed out bits of time where I could. Some days I woke up earlier and did some before work, some days I stayed awake later at night. When I was cooking, I would have the laptop open on the counter and keep tapping a few words out in between stirring things. And really, I didn’t burn THAT many dinners. Weekends I was able to grab a few extra hours. I can’t say it was easy, some days when I was feeling tired and uninspired, forcing those words out was really hard work, but marathons of any sort were never meant to be easy.

Was it worth it?

Absolutely. I learnt a lot about myself as writer – I won’t go into all that now, but even if I never do any more with what I have written, it will have been worth it for what I learnt from the experience.

And finally, why DID I say that I ‘sort of’ did it?

Well, I cheated a little. Twice. On one occasion, I was really stuck for inspiration. I had something that I’ve been wanting to write about for a while, so I made my main character log into the internet, and read someone’s blog, and I then typed out this other thing I’ve been wanting to write, as if she was reading it on screen. I deserve a few points for inventiveness right? But it really was nothing to do with the story. On another occasion, again, when I was completely stuck, I had two of my characters sit down and listen to some Bob Dylan songs, and talk about how much the lyrics meant to them, and I then wrote out a whole load of Bob Dylan lyrics. I’ve let myself down haven’t I.

Now I know that lots of other NaNo’ers have spoken about doing similar things just to get their word counts up. The NaNo rules are done on trust, so there are lots of ways to cheat if you want to, but in the words of all our old school teachers, we’re only really cheating ourselves; it’s not like we’re playing for cash prizes or anything. But I didn’t want to go against their rules. It’s not that I was expecting everything I wrote to be of high literary quality, but I did expect it to all be relevant to the story, and to all be my own work, which clearly the lyrics were not.

So whilst officially I am classified as a NaNo winner, I’m really not. Those extra bits I threw in come to around 2,000 words, so I wasn’t THAT far off. Hang on a minute…there are a few more hours left before the end of November! I still might have time to replace those 2,000 words with real stuff! Be back later…

Oh, before I go, I must also give a shout out to my partner Neil, who did it too, and completed his 50,000 words! Woohoo! A big achievement as he lost over a week at the start of the month due to some technical issues. And big congratulations to the rest of you who did it too!

Writing a story with Jennifer

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Over at Jennifer M. Eaton‘s place, several of us are writing a story together. Jennifer started it, and then we each get to add around 250 words to it. This week it’s my turn, yay! It’s not too late to join, you can add your name to her list over there too and write a future installment yourself. Before you read my installment, you may wish to catch up on the story so far…

Part One – Jennifer M. Eaton

Part Two – J. Keller Ford

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four – Elin Gregory

Part Five – Eileen Snyder

Part Six – Mikaela Wire

Before I wrote my installment, I needed to see what the character structure looked like (so far), so I attempted to draw it. I’m not claiming that this is any kind of definitive character structure for the story, but it’s how I saw it. If you can’t read it clearly, then click on it to open up the bigger version. If you don’t find it helpful, then feel free to ignore it!

Character structure tree

And finally, without further ado, I give you my installment…

Part Seven:

Jodi knelt down and peered through the gap. Too dark. The March wind she had felt in Carlisle Street had followed her here and it whispered its way in and out of the foliage, as though enticing the fauna to reveal its secrets. Jodi strained to look deeper into the gap and became aware of faint voices from within. She willed the wind to quieten as she positioned her ear towards the voices.

“I insist you tell me how it came to be in your possession.”

“Forgive me Gwydyon, but I cannot.”

“You are aware of the consequences Janosc?”

“Yes.”

“Well, no matter for now, time is short, we must seek guidance.”

Jodi nestled her ear further into the gap and listened keenly as the chanting began. First one voice, and then another, and another, until she could no longer count them as all the voices came together in a quickening repetitive chorus. “We open our eyes to the Spiral of Taur, we open our hearts to the Spiral of Taur, we open our minds to the Spiral of Taur, we open our ears to the Spiral of Taur”.

The mossy ground cushioned the sound of the approaching footsteps, and Jodi was unaware until the voice boomed out from behind her. “Jodi? What on earth are you doing?”.

She leapt up and glanced nervously back down towards the gap before mustering up the best semblance of a genuine smile that she could manage, “Oh it’s you, hi”. She beamed broadly and shuffled uneasily from foot to foot. “I was just…um…”.

It’s Official, I’m a Limebird!

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Limebird writers logo

That’s right, I am delighted to now be one of the writers on the Limebird team. You may now call me Limebirdvanessa. I know that some of you who follow me here, also follow the Limebird Writers blog, but if you don’t, and are interested in the subject of writing, and all its facets, then why not pop over there and check it out, and not just because I’m one of them!

My first post for them went live yesterday – I wrote up a few suggestions for games that can be played with groups of children to help stimulate their interest in creative writing and storytelling. You can find it here: http://limebirduk.wordpress.com/2012/05/09/childs-play/

I will still be blogging my general blogs over here, but in addition will be blogging on writing related matters at Limebird. Hope to see some of you over there!

A Perfect Day for Bananafish (Or why everyone should read Salinger)

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JD Salinger reading at a table

Before I launch into my praise of Salinger, I need to confess something. When it comes to books, I’m useless. Also films and music. I love books and films and music, but ask me what my favourites are and you will be met with a blank stare. Obviously I know what I like at the time, but afterwards I can never remember the names of anything, or who wrote, starred in, or sang, what. Seriously, don’t ask me to join your quiz team if there are likely to be any questions about books, films or music because I assure you, I will be of no help. As I have mentioned on here, I have started writing a book, and one of my biggest fears around that is that at some point people will be asking me what my favourite books and authors are, and I won’t have anything intelligent to say. I could talk a bit about Silas Marner I suppose because we did that for our English literature O’Level and I liked it enough to have read it twice more since, so I remember the story and who wrote it which is a lot for me. I could also talk a bit about Pride and Prejudice (which I have also read three times I believe), but then so can everyone. But what if they start naming particular authors and asking me what I think of them? What will I say? (I’m not sure who these people are who will be asking me these questions, but that’s irrelevant right now, I’ve listened to Radio 4 so I know it happens).

I’m getting that bit out of the way first in case there is anyone like me reading this, who may be worried that I will be talking intelligently about books; I won’t be.

Now that I’ve explained all that, you’re probably wondering why I’m choosing to write about Salinger right? Well it goes like this…a few months back, I was speaking to my partner about some short stories I had written and wondering whether they were too dialogue-heavy. I expressed that I felt it wasn’t proper for stories to be driven so much by dialogue. “Not at all” he said. “Dialogue-heavy stories can be excellent. Have you read any Salinger?”. Well of course I had no idea whether I had or not, so he went ahead and bought me some Salinger. “Read them and you will see” he said. So I read them and I saw. I can now confirm that I had reached the grand old age of 41 without ever having read The Catcher in the Rye, or A Perfect Day for Bananafish or, I’m fairly confident, any of his work at all. Shocking isn’t it. I can also now say that I LOVE the way Salinger writes, nobody can turn a phrase like he can (nobody that I can remember anyway). He writes very cleverly, but it feels like it was effortless to write, and it is a joy to read. His writing is a bit quirky and I like quirky. He can be funny and tragic at the same time. He hints at things so terrible that you dare not allow your mind to go in that direction but you are nevertheless compelled to keep reading. At times he leaves you confused and unsure about what has just happened, but you don’t feel cheated by that. It is very readable, very readable indeed (which is always a useful quality in a book). You get the sense that he had no idea quite how brilliant he was.

Jump forward to a couple of days ago and I read this blog about writing dialogue by Neeks at Limebird Writers, which gave me the idea to write something about Salinger. And so here I am, writing about Salinger. I haven’t actually said a whole lot about him have I, but at least I can now add him to my very short list of authors that I might be able to mention if I am called upon to do so.

So in summary, yeah, Salinger is a pretty cool dude, and in the unlikely event that you too have not read any of his work, then you really should (and there I was worrying that I wouldn’t have anything intelligent to say).

Oh, and as this is my blog, I can divert if I like – my book research survey remains open until 14 Feb, so if any parents out there haven’t yet filled it in, it would be lovely if you could. It’s very short and it’s here: http://surveyofparents.questionpro.com/