A Perfect Day for Bananafish (Or why everyone should read Salinger)

JD Salinger reading at a table

Before I launch into my praise of Salinger, I need to confess something. When it comes to books, I’m useless. Also films and music. I love books and films and music, but ask me what my favourites are and you will be met with a blank stare. Obviously I know what I like at the time, but afterwards I can never remember the names of anything, or who wrote, starred in, or sang, what. Seriously, don’t ask me to join your quiz team if there are likely to be any questions about books, films or music because I assure you, I will be of no help. As I have mentioned on here, I have started writing a book, and one of my biggest fears around that is that at some point people will be asking me what my favourite books and authors are, and I won’t have anything intelligent to say. I could talk a bit about Silas Marner I suppose because we did that for our English literature O’Level and I liked it enough to have read it twice more since, so I remember the story and who wrote it which is a lot for me. I could also talk a bit about Pride and Prejudice (which I have also read three times I believe), but then so can everyone. But what if they start naming particular authors and asking me what I think of them? What will I say? (I’m not sure who these people are who will be asking me these questions, but that’s irrelevant right now, I’ve listened to Radio 4 so I know it happens).

I’m getting that bit out of the way first in case there is anyone like me reading this, who may be worried that I will be talking intelligently about books; I won’t be.

Now that I’ve explained all that, you’re probably wondering why I’m choosing to write about Salinger right? Well it goes like this…a few months back, I was speaking to my partner about some short stories I had written and wondering whether they were too dialogue-heavy. I expressed that I felt it wasn’t proper for stories to be driven so much by dialogue. “Not at all” he said. “Dialogue-heavy stories can be excellent. Have you read any Salinger?”. Well of course I had no idea whether I had or not, so he went ahead and bought me some Salinger. “Read them and you will see” he said. So I read them and I saw. I can now confirm that I had reached the grand old age of 41 without ever having read The Catcher in the Rye, or A Perfect Day for Bananafish or, I’m fairly confident, any of his work at all. Shocking isn’t it. I can also now say that I LOVE the way Salinger writes, nobody can turn a phrase like he can (nobody that I can remember anyway). He writes very cleverly, but it feels like it was effortless to write, and it is a joy to read. His writing is a bit quirky and I like quirky. He can be funny and tragic at the same time. He hints at things so terrible that you dare not allow your mind to go in that direction but you are nevertheless compelled to keep reading. At times he leaves you confused and unsure about what has just happened, but you don’t feel cheated by that. It is very readable, very readable indeed (which is always a useful quality in a book). You get the sense that he had no idea quite how brilliant he was.

Jump forward to a couple of days ago and I read this blog about writing dialogue by Neeks at Limebird Writers, which gave me the idea to write something about Salinger. And so here I am, writing about Salinger. I haven’t actually said a whole lot about him have I, but at least I can now add him to my very short list of authors that I might be able to mention if I am called upon to do so.

So in summary, yeah, Salinger is a pretty cool dude, and in the unlikely event that you too have not read any of his work, then you really should (and there I was worrying that I wouldn’t have anything intelligent to say).

Oh, and as this is my blog, I can divert if I like – my book research survey remains open until 14 Feb, so if any parents out there haven’t yet filled it in, it would be lovely if you could. It’s very short and it’s here: http://surveyofparents.questionpro.com/

Am I a social misfit?

Man with pigeons

Am I a social misfit? I’m beginning to wonder if I am. Let’s look at the evidence:

1) Parties. Everyone loves a party right? Not me. Well I love the idea of them. I buy into the hype. A party! Woohoo! Yay! Count me in! But the reality is a bit different. I’m using the word ‘party’ here to refer to any large social gathering, be it work related or personal. I’m not a mingler. I don’t mingle. People at parties should mingle. But I just like to stick with someone I know and like, in one spot, the whole time. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-social, if someone talks to me in a social setting, then I will be perfectly pleasant and engage appropriately with the conversation, I might even be funny and sparkling, but I just can’t be the one to start the conversation. I feel awkward and uncomfortable, and quite frankly I don’t even really feel like starting up a conversation with some random person who might turn out to be of no interest to me at all. Harsh I know. But there you go.

If my partner is with me, then I can be quite happy, sticking with him. He’s a bit like me with parties, so he’ll be quite happy just sticking with me. We both can mutter about how we’d much rather have just gone out for dinner the two of us than come to this party, and I will sit there dreading to hear those well-meaning words “Let me introduce you to…”.

I feel a bit of a fraud saying all the above, because over the last month I have been to two parties that I’ve actually quite enjoyed and been in no rush to leave. My partner has been with me on both occasions but I haven’t felt the desperate panicky fear of being separated from him. I’ve felt comfortable, I’ve engaged in interesting and funny exchanges with others, and have left the party feeling happy and relaxed rather than relieved it’s over. I do feel these are the exception for me though.

2) Quirkiness – At work I was once voted ‘The quirkiest member of the team’. No further explanation needed of this evidence.

3) Friends and family – As much as I love my friends and family and enjoy spending time with them, I don’t want to get together with them three times a week. I don’t understand the need some have to be surrounded with people all the time. To fill their social diary to the max. If I end up with more than one social engagement in a weekend, then I feel that my weekend has been wasted and I am resentful that a large part of my weekend has been taken over. I haven’t had any me time. I actually quite like me, and I quite like spending time with just me. I hardly ever get time alone, but I relish it when I do, and I actively seek to create those moments rather than actively seek to fill my spare time socialising with others. I’m obviously not including my own children and partner here; they are part of me and my day to day life. I just don’t feel the need to bring lots of other people into the equation all the time.

My 12 year old daughter is the complete opposite. She is highly sociable and wants to avoid being on her own at all costs. She just came out with a great line that sums it up. I was commenting to her about what I was writing here and she said “That’s true, the only time I’m alone is when my friends go to the toilet”.

4) Team player – At work, in pretty much any work setting, we’re all expected to be good team players aren’t we. It’s a requirement in job advertisements ‘Must be able to work well as part of a team’. Well that doesn’t really describe me I’m afraid. I do it, of course I do it because I have to, and I cooperate appropriately in a team, and others would probably say I’m a perfectly good team player. But I don’t like it, it’s not me. I much prefer to have my own self-contained work that I just get on with on my own. If there were two tasks to be done, and two of us to do them, I would much rather that we both do a whole one each than work together on both.

So what does all this mean? Whilst doing a bit of research on this subject, I came across this blog post from a few years ago – ‘All Loners Aren’t Social Misfits’. I can relate to what she says, and take some comfort in knowing that there are many others like me. The only issue I have with her article is the title. It implies that it’s better to be a loner than a social misfit. I’m not sure about that. The term ‘social misfit’ has a certain integrity about it, I would say it has ‘street cred’ if it wasn’t for the fact that my children tell me NOBODY says ‘street cred’ any more. But social misfit means ‘different’ and different isn’t necessarily bad. ‘Loner’ however is just one letter away from loser. By the end of her article I concluded that I am an introvert. I don’t shy away altogether from people and social situations, but I’m selective in how many of both I want in my life, and I need regular time alone in order to refuel and blossom. I’m still not sure if I’m also a social misfit, but if I am, at least I’m in good company.