For years I’ve been telling people that I had my first birthday in Ibiza. It turns out that I actually had my first birthday in Austria. I did however go to Ibiza when I was 18 months old, so you can see how the confusion arose; my memory of that time is a little hazy. On that first birthday, in Austria, not Ibiza, Austria, I had a cake, with a candle. Apparently, after the rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ had been sung, the candle had been blown out, and some cake had been eaten, I jumped down from my chair and walked across the room, and that was my very first time of walking! All it took was some cake, if only they’d known. I believe the above photo is from that actual day. Looking at me there, I’m surprised I managed to even get down from my chair, let alone walk across the room!
Today is my birthday again. I’ve had others in between of course (you knew that right?), but today’s birthday is even more epic than that very epic first birthday. You’ve probably worked out already that I’m 42 by the title of this post. I had almost overlooked the significance of this birthday until I read a post over at Slouching Towards Thatcham. Yes, today, and for a whole year, I shall be the fount of all knowledge and wisdom. If ever there was a time to seek guidance from me on any troubling matters, this is it.
What will I do with all this power? It’s quite a responsibility. Here is a list of things I must prepare myself for:
1) World leaders will no doubt call upon me to resolve political and humanitarian crisises (I should probably learn what the plural of crisis is before that happens).
2) The scientific community will come to me for guidance on how to address the escalating environmental concerns we face.
3) Companies such as Microsoft, Apple and Nokia will want me to test out their new products and gadgets prior to release.
4) International publishers will be competing for the rights to publish my memoirs.
5) My children will realise how lucky they are to have me as their mother in this year of power, and will tidy their rooms without me having to ask (ok, maybe I’m just getting into crazy-talk now).
But for today, I shall simply recreate that very first birthday by having some cake, maybe this time with the addition of some birthday refreshments (hic!), and then once again attempt to get down from my chair and stagger across the room. Happy birthday to me…happy birthday to me…