After all the scary spider and alien talk in my last post I thought I’d talk about something a little more pleasant today, chocolate. If you don’t have kids, then you probably don’t realise how tricky it can be for parents to indulge in their favourite naughty snacks when they don’t want the kids to have any. If you’re a parent, you know what I’m talking about. The frantic shoveling of goodies into your mouth while the kids are distracted by something, the secret stash you keep in the car. We have to get sneaky right? Here are my three tips for stopping the kids from eating your chocolate:
1. Find a really good hiding place for it
I’m going to save you the trouble of trying to find your own really good hiding place. After years of failed experimentation, you can take it from me that I have found THE best hiding place for your chocolate. Are you ready for it? It’s inside an empty cereal box, of a variety of cereal that the kids don’t like. You can then safely leave the box in the cupboard next to the rest of the cereal, and they won’t touch it. The added advantage with this is that if you’re bored you can amuse yourself by waving the box at the kids and saying “Are you sure you don’t want any of this?”. It’s such fun, try it.
2. Lie to them about what you’re eating
Of course you can only get away with this while they are still young enough to believe every word you say, and you should take advantage of that whenever you can. Try one of these phrases, or come up with one of your own:
“This? No, this isn’t chocolate, this is a brown vegetable bar”.
“Oh no, you wouldn’t like this type of chocolate, it’s very spicy”.
“This is a special chocolate bar that only adults are allowed to eat, you can have some if you want, but if the police find out you could be in trouble”.
3. Teach them about alternatives
Teach your kids that healthy snacks such as nuts, seeds, and apples can be every bit as delicious as chocolate…oh who am I kidding? I don’t even believe that myself. Ok, so it turns out I only had two tips then, but they’re pretty good ones right?
I know this all might seem very cruel, but remember it is for their own good – you don’t want them eating all that fat and sugar, not when you want it all for yourself anyway.
Happy chocolate eating!