Before I launch into trivial matters, I’d just like to say to everyone affected by the hurricane – please take care, I’m sending you good thoughts.
A couple of weeks ago I told you about some silly things I have done. After posting, I remembered some other things, so here is a part two. I thought it only fair that if I am going to publicly ridicule myself, I should also publicly ridicule my friends too, so this list includes one of those.
1) A few years ago I was staying with a friend who had just bought a new Sat Nav (or GPS if you’re outside the UK and don’t call it Sat Nav). Just before bedtime, she brought it into the living room to show me how it worked, and then forgot to switch it off. I was sleeping on a large inflatable mattress in the living room that night. Shortly after I settled down, the Sat Nav spoke, “Please turn around” it said. In my half asleep state, I thought it was the mattress talking to me, so I turned around. I assumed it must be a highly sophisticated inflatable mattress which assessed your sleeping position, and suggested a better one. For what seemed like the whole rest of the night, every so often, it would pipe up with “Please turn around”, each time waking me up, and each time making me more and more frustrated. I can’t tell you the range of different sleeping positions I tried that night, whilst muttering with increasing anger “There! Is this better?!”.
2) A friend once had cause to send an email to a guy she had had a major crush on for years. The purpose of the email was a practical matter, but she wanted to word it exactly right so that it would leave the door open to possibilities, but without her actually revealing that she liked him. She spent over two hours composing the email. She did things like changed her story about how she had got his email address, she removed punctuation and capital letters to give the impression she had rattled it out in a rush, she put jokes in and then took them out. Each time she saved it to drafts. Finally she was happy and sent it off. Later that day she looked in her sent mail and discovered that she had accidentally sent him every single one of the different versions of the email over the two hour period, instead of just saving them to drafts each time! Oops.
3) Two recent occurrences in my local branch of Marks & Spencer:
a) A few weeks ago I was in the M&S changing rooms trying on a dress. While pulling it over my head, my arm somehow became entangled in the orange emergency cord and I set off the alarm. An assistant had to come and help untangle me, and cancel the alarm.
b) A few days later I was standing in line at M&S to pay for some underwear. A male sales assistant approached me and said “Shall I take those from you?” I must have looked a little concerned because he added “It’s ok, I do work here”. This set me off giggling, and not just a quick giggle, no, one of those embarrassing increasingly hysterical laughs, which carried on the whole time he was serving me, and which I was unable to stop. To his credit, he tried to humour me by joining in with a little chuckle every so often.
I’m not sure if I’m allowed back in Marks & Spencer.
I have more, but this post is long enough already, so it looks like there’ll be a part three (bet you can’t wait).
Be safe out there people.