1) Walk along the street reading a book: I have recently witnessed two people, on separate occasions, walking along the street, at quite a pace I might add, engrossed in reading a novel. How does that work? How can you be engaged with the story, while also being sure you’re walking in the right direction, and not bumping into anybody or stepping in anything unpleasant? Seriously, how do you do that?
2) Take an hour or more to put on make-up: It is not uncommon for some people to spend an hour or more putting on their make-up. If you’re being made-up as a character to go with a costume, fair enough, it can take some time, but standard make-up for day wear, or even an evening out takes me 10 minutes, not even that on some rushed work mornings. I genuinely cannot imagine what somebody actually does to fill an hour when making themselves up. If you’re one of those people who can do that, I ask you, seriously, how do you do that?
3) Work in Lush: For anybody who is not familiar, Lush is a chain of stores selling fresh handmade cosmetics and soaps etc. It’s a fun shop to visit; it’s like a candy store with big slabs of soap and products piled high, all colourful and fruity. The problem is the products are so overpoweringly scented that after just a few minutes inside one of their stores, I start to feel light-headed and queasy, and I’m not one of those overly sensitive types I assure you. I just can’t imagine how people manage to work a whole day in there. If you work in Lush, then seriously, how do you do that?
4) Jump out of a perfectly good plane…more than once: Yep, I did skydiving once and once was enough. Now if you think I’m just including this to show off about how brave I was, you are very much mistaken. I was not in the least bit brave. I was a terrified wuss. The only reason I was able to jump out of the plane at all was because I was strapped to a guy, and he jumped, so I really had no choice. It certainly didn’t enhance my experience when the guy tried to open the parachute and discovered that it hadn’t been packed correctly, so the cords were twisted together and the parachute didn’t open properly. That’s right, I said THE PARACHUTE DIDN’T OPEN PROPERLY!!! The guy managed to somehow pull and wiggle the cords whilst muttering things like “Come on damn it!”, and after what seemed like a lifetime, it opened fully. Have a look at the picture below, yes, that is me and the guy hanging underneath a NOT PROPERLY OPENING PARACHUTE!!! You can see how the cords are twisted. Look at the second picture of us coming in to land and compare how the parachute should look when it’s properly open. So yeah, jumping out of a perfectly good plane…more than once, seriously, how do you do that?
What makes you say “Seriously, how do you do that?”