Interview with a Vanessa

Pretty Leaves

Like a lot of bloggers, I have a little notebook where I jot down any ideas that come to me for blog posts. Looking through my notebook today I found that I have several little snippets of ideas that aren’t enough for a whole post in themselves. What to do with them? I thought. After much pondering, I decided I could interview myself, and thus mop up some of these random ideas into a cunning and self-indulgent post. Here goes…

Hello Vanessa, would you mind if I ask you a few questions?

Not at all Vanessa, fire away.

Ok, first of all, I was just wondering whether you’ve seen any pretty leaves whilst out walking lately?

Yes I have! And by an amazing coincidence, I photographed those leaves and have already inserted the picture at the top of this post – what are the chances eh?

Wow, those sure are some pretty leaves. Now, can I ask whether you have done anything this year that you feel particularly pleased with yourself about?

Yes, I managed to get an advert removed from the radio by complaining about it to the Advertising Standards Authority. I don’t want to reveal the details, but basically the company blatantly lied about a point of law in order to try and sell something to a potentially vulnerable group of people. But they didn’t bank on me knowing the law in that area, no siree!

What’s your favourite joke?

Well it’s a bit of an oldie, and it’s more of a one-liner than a joke, but this one never fails to make me laugh every time I tell it to myself:

– I got myself a new dog, he used to belong to the blacksmith, as soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.

That is a good one, it’s one of my favourites too! What about T-Shirt slogans, any favourites there?

One that I saw being worn by an elderly lady gave me a good chuckle:

– At my age I’ve seen it all, done it all, and heard it all. I just can’t remember it all.

I’m wondering, does your 10 year old son understand the principles of bankruptcy?

He does now, yes. A few days ago he asked me what bankruptcy was. I explained it to him, and he said “Oh so it’s like a game of Monopoly – when you run out of money, you can’t play anymore?” Yep, that’s pretty much it!

You recently did a post about pranks you wish you were brave enough to do, but do your kids ever play pranks?

I assume you’re talking about my post entitled Five things I would like to do to a stranger. Yes they do, if we’re ever driving slowly in the car, my kids like to call out to people on the street “Excuse me, you’ve dropped something!” I know it’s a bit naughty, and I should probably stop them, but it’s actually hilarious looking in my rear view mirror at the people looking around at the ground. I do have one rule, that they’re not allowed to do it to elderly people.

And finally, have you ever watered a plastic plant?

You mean like when my Mum recently went away for a couple of months and asked me to water her plants for her, and I didn’t realise that one of the ones I was watering was a plastic one? You really think I would do something like that? What sort of idiot would do something like that huh?

Thank you very much Vanessa

You’re welcome Vanessa.

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48 responses to “Interview with a Vanessa

  1. Haha!! I’ve heard of talking to yourself. I have a little voice in my head that makes me laugh sometimes (and makes me angry or jealous or paranoid other times). But I think interviewing yourself takes madness to a-whole-nother level…!

    Loving the “You’ve dropped something” prank, that’s brilliant! I can just imagine a sour-faced businessman looking around on the ground for a bit, then looking up, in the direction your car went and muttering “Pesky kids!” under his breath.

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    • Oh, doesn’t everyone interview themselves then?

      They have to judge it properly with the car prank because if we’re going too fast then the people can’t hear what they call out, but if it’s a traffic jam then we can’t get away! Once my son judged it a bit wrong, he didn’t see that we were coming up to the back of a queue and he said it to this guy who didn’t hear him properly, and the guy came right up to the window to say “Pardon?” and my son had to say it again right to his face – my son’s quite shy so that was hard for him to do, and then we were stuck there in the queue while the guy was looking round and saying “where?” to us, it was quite awkward but really funny afterwards! Sometimes if we’re going really slow they point back to where the people have come from and say “You dropped something back there” and the people walk back, which is even funnier!

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  2. Excellent! I love it and I love the attitude behind it! HF

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  3. “Bolt for the door.” Hahahahahaha. That is now my favorite joke.

    What a great idea for tidying up dribs and drabs of blog post ideas. I have a drawer full too.

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  4. You never stop amusing me. And that joke is terrific. I’m going to remember that one. My sister and a friend used to roll down the windows and sing opera at the top of their voices while at stop lights. I was in the back seat once and witnesses the man in the car ahead look around, startled and confused. It was rather priceless.

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  5. Another amusing post, Vanessa! And the dog who made a bolt for the door is exactly the kind of joke I like best! Anything with puns!

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  6. Haha. This was brilliant. What a clever idea and what a perfect interview. Only have to answer the questions you want to. πŸ™‚

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    • I know! Usually in interviews you get some questions that you like answering, and others, not so much, this way you can like all of them! (I make it sound like I get interviewed all the time don’t I!).

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  7. Great idea, and it would be too blatantly obvious to steal it for my Saturday post! But I’m still wondering what to write about…. Come on brain, think creatively like Vanessa did! πŸ™‚

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    • This month I’ve struggled with inspiration for my blog, I think NaNo is stealing all my creativity! I kept looking at my notebook, and wondering how I could use some of these little snippets I had jotted down, so I was rather pleased with myself when I thought of this! But please do go ahead and do the same thing if you want to, I won’t mind a bit! πŸ™‚

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  8. Definitely shorter and more succinct than Interview with a Vampire. ; ) I’m glad I understand bankruptcy better now.

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    • I’m glad you said that about the Vampire, I wasn’t sure whether people would get what I was doing there with my title! If there’s anything else you’d like explained to you, just let me know, and I’ll ask my son.

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  9. What a great idea to interview yourself, love it!

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  10. Haha Vanessa, you do make me laugh! πŸ™‚

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  11. Great interview! You and your subject clearly have an excellent rapport.

    And now, my favorite joke:

    Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Interrupting cow.
    Interrupting cow w–
    MOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    You’re welcome.

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    • Oh yes! I have heard that joke before, but I’d forgotten about it, I love it! When I heard it though it was an interrupting sheep. I guess you just go with whatever animal you can do a better impression of.

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  12. Fun idea post. Harper brought me here. I have been thinking about interviewing 15 year old self on my own blog. Yay interviews!

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    • Goodness, you mustn’t let Harper lead you astray like this, you don’t know where you might end up! πŸ˜‰

      That’s a good idea to interview your younger self. I see you posted on my ‘About’ page too, so I must pop over and have a look at your blog…

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  13. Just lovely and hilarious! Reading your posts has become like going to a favourite cafe, which always makes me smile and feel like I’ve had a worthwhile experience. There’s just such a sense of companionship in your ‘voice’ and I never feel like I’m being led off on a tangent that won’t make sense. Really clever the way you brought all these ideas together. I’m so glad because they are all such great ideas!

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    • Thank you! You and I always seem to have such lovely things to say about it each other on our blogs, I wonder if we would like each other as much in real life!

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      • Interesting thought! I feel like I’m getting to know you through your blogs – but maybe it’s a version of being starstruck where you watch a movie with a famous actor and then become convinced you could be best friends, if only you were given the chance πŸ˜‰

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  14. I have interviewed myself for a column I write, and I was not as funny or interesting as you are–nor half as clever–good post

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  15. This is Genius! πŸ˜€
    “That is a good one, it’s one of my favourites too! What about T-Shirt slogans, any favourites there?”
    Tee hee hee, loved that line. Loved it all, actually! Smarty pants! Those leaves are just gorgeous! πŸ™‚

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  16. If you put all the plastic plants into the shower with you can pretend you are in the rain forests of Africa. lol I haven’t tried it just a thought. Check out my Post ‘worlds heaviest rainfall you might like it Vanessa-Jane Another thought

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  17. I made a cup of tea for a teddy bear once. No reason to tell you, just thought I’d throw it in there. πŸ™‚

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