Do you ever…
– Experience feelings of inferiority when other blogs seem to have many more followers and/or comments and likes on their posts than yours does?
– Feel waves of self-doubt when you struggle for ideas on what to blog about, and yet others seem to have a never-ending stream of great ideas?
– Start to feel insecure when you see people who have stopped commenting on your blog, are still commenting on other blogs you follow?
– Question whether there is some kind of conspiracy going on when you see blog after blog being Freshly Pressed, and you secretly feel that some of your posts have been better than some of the Freshly Pressed ones? (for non WordPressers – being Freshly Pressed is like receiving an Oscar for your blog. And for those of my followers who have been Freshly Pressed, I’m obviously not talking about YOUR blogs, no, it’s the others).
– Start to feel possessive of your blogging friends when they seem to be getting all super-friendly with a new blogger on the block?
– Notice that when you are congratulating other bloggers for certain successes, you are doing it through gritted teeth? (What exactly are gritted teeth?)
If you ever experience some, or all, of those symptoms, then you may be suffering from blog envy. Don’t worry, you are not alone. Another sign is that alongside those feelings are also feelings of guilt; those blogs that are recipients of your envy may be blogs and bloggers that you really like, those that you consider to be friends in the blogging world, and so you berate yourself for feeling anything other than pleased for them.
If any of that sounds familiar, then fear not, help is at hand. I give you Vanessa’s five steps to dealing with blog envy:
STEP ONE – As you may guess, the first step is to admit that you have these feelings. So I will start the ball rolling…
I am Vanessa, and in the time I have been blogging, I have on more than one occasion, experienced some or all of the above. There I’ve said it. And I feel better for it. I’m not talking about real green-eyed monster jealousy here, just some mild nighttime wailing and lamenting.
STEP TWO – Recognise that the envy and subsequent guilt has absolutely nothing to do with the blogs you are directing it towards, and everything to do with you and how you feel about yourself. Look again at the words I used in the list – inferiority, self-doubt, insecurity. They are feelings you have about yourself, and your abilities, and you are choosing to direct them towards other bloggers and what they are doing, rather than taking responsibility for them. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but it’s called tough love baby.
STEP THREE – Understand that envy of any form is a destructive emotion that only serves to make you unhappy. Really understand that. Make yourself a cup of tea, maybe nibble on a cookie, and think about it some more.
STEP FOUR – Write down your three main reasons for blogging. Then do a review of your blog. Are your posts ticking those three boxes for you? i.e. are you being true to yourself and your blogging purpose with your posts? If you are, then remind yourself of that regularly and be happy in that knowledge. If your posts aren’t meeting your blogging purpose, then think about why that is, and what you can do about it.
STEP FIVE – Accept that in the blogging world, you have to give in order to receive. You might be writing the most wonderful blog posts in the world, but unless you are investing as much time in reading and commenting on other blogs then you’re unlikely to build up a decent amount of followers and commenters. Also consider whether you are being a good host on your blog. Are you making visitors feel welcome by acknowledging and replying to their comments? All of that is your choice of course, but accept that you cannot expect to receive more than you give.
Whoa there Vanessa! I started out this post intending it to be very lighthearted and it ended up pretty serious there in places. Ah well, I’ll go with it anyway. I’ll leave you with one final thought, if all else fails, just remember that for every blog that you feel envious of, there is probably at least one blogger feeling envious of yours – well hey, you’ve got to get your comfort where you can, right?
Have you ever experienced any symptoms of blog envy?
green eyed barbie photo credit: swirlingthoughts via photopin cc
gritted teeth photo credit: drinkerthinker via photopin cc
squirrel photo credit: Tomi Tapio via photopin cc
comfortable dog photo credit: Josh Liba via photopin cc