Dear TV Chefs
I’ve been unwell for several days and have not managed to do much more than decant myself from bed to couch in the morning, and then back up to bed at night. I have pretty much just watched the Food Network all day, in between bouts of napping, for several days. An odd choice of viewing perhaps when I’ve had no appetite, but having the time to watch so many lovely food shows was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up.
I love your shows, I really do. However, having watched so many of them over the last few days, I have a few comments and requests…
1) When you are making bold statements like “You can cook this full three course meal in under 30 minutes!” please remember that we do not have someone in the background who has prepared all the ingredients, and laid them out nicely in little dishes on the counter ready for us.
2) Lead by example and practise good kitchen hygiene please. I see a whole lot of cross-contamination going on. I know most of the hand washing and cleaning happens off-camera because it doesn’t make for interesting viewing, but I’m sure you can find a way around that. Some TV chefs do. And if you have long hair, please tie it back, yeah?
3) I hate coriander/cilantro (note. coriander is the British word for cilantro). I wouldn’t mention this because of course we all have our likes and dislikes, except that this particular herb brings out extreme revulsion in a lot of people, read this if you want to know more. I accept that a lot of people do like it, but is it really necessary to include it in 4 out of 5 of your dishes?
4) It would be nice if you could show a little, just a little, restraint with your gushing self-praise about how delicious your dishes are when you taste them. It’s kind of embarrassing to watch sometimes. This is not helped by the fact that you are talking with your mouths full too.
5) I’m afraid I don’t own an oyster clamp. And I don’t own a set of 6 different sized double-depth hexagonal loose-bottomed non-stick fluted flan tins either (mine aren’t fluted). Nor a pierogi maker. Just sayin’.
I think that’s it. Overall you’re doing a great job, and if you’re looking for a TV Chef sidekick anytime, give me a call ok?
With fondest regards