The time I secretly shared a box of chocolates with a mouse

Elephant and mouse sharing

I feel the need for a little true confession today. It all started with a box of chocolates that I had brought in to work. It was one of those tall pass-it-around-and-share-it boxes of individually wrapped assorted chocolates. I passed it around. We shared. After four or five chocolates had been taken, someone reached in and pulled out an empty wrapper. Strange. I peered into the box, and there was another empty wrapper. Not nice flat wrappers, but crumpled up ones, still twisted at one end. I delved in further, then horror of horrors, I found a half unwrapped chocolate with what looked like little tiny nibble marks in it. And then another partly nibbled one…and another!

“A mouse must have got into the box!” Someone cried.

“Impossible!” I shouted. “I’ve only just opened the box now from new and there are no holes in it or anything!”

“Well a mouse must have got to them in the factory then,” somebody else suggested.

“You must complain Vanessa, you must write to the company and complain!” They told me. I knew they were right, but first I asked the question that was on everyone’s lips, or so I thought, but it turned out it was only on my lips…

“Should we eat the other chocolates anyway first? You know, the perfectly good ones that still have the wrapping intact?”

Everyone was aghast. “Noooo!!!!” They cried. “Noooo!!!”

“But they are perfectly good!” I protested.

“They’re not perfectly good Vanessa, they are contaminated! The whole box is contaminated!”

I reluctantly conceded that they were right, I must eat no more, I must instead complain. I shoved the box into my bottom desk drawer, fully intending to write a complaint letter later. But instead I forgot all about them. Until a few weeks later when I was searching for something, and opened the bottom drawer. My eyes lit up, for a second…

Chocolates!…Oh wait..no…they’re the mouse chocolates…I was supposed to complain about them. I expect it’s too late now. I should probably just throw them away…only…there’s some perfectly good chocolates still in there, and none of us got ill from the ones we ate before…plus, there’s no actual evidence that it’s mice, it could just be mechanical damage…yes, that’s it, mechanical damage, so…

I looked up and glanced around. Everyone was busy, nobody was looking my way. I reached into the box, and pulled one out, I held it under my desk and looked at it. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s perfectly good. I slowly and quietly unwrapped it and popped it into my mouth. And so it went on. Over the next two or three weeks, when nobody was looking, whenever I got a hankering for chocolate, I would slowly and quietly reach into my box of mouse chocolates, pull one of the fully wrapped ones out and eat it. Until they were all gone. And nobody knew.

And not once when I had run out of the fully wrapped ones, and had a desperate craving for chocolate, did I take out one of the half nibbled ones, and have my own little nibble from the other, perfectly good, end. Not once, because that would be a step too far…right?

——————
photo credit: HikingArtist.com via photopin cc

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75 responses to “The time I secretly shared a box of chocolates with a mouse

  1. Hmmmm, I wouldn’t be so worried about the mouse poo/wee on the chocolates as much as I would be about your addiction πŸ˜‰

    I lived in a 3rd floor apartment once and my oldest son wanted to have an Easter egg hunt. So I hid Cadbury eggs around the place. Several months later I opened the cabinet under the sink and found one of the eggs. I thought, “OK, so it’s a few months old, so what?” I picked it up, and noticed a hole in one end – right through the foil. I cracked it open and inside was a dead roach – it got in but couldn’t get out. “Death by chocolate – what a way to go”, I thought.

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  2. No…. not a step too far at all. I think it would be perfectly ok as long as you just give them a little wipe with that old tissue thats kept at the bottom of every ladies handbag. Forbidden chocolate mmmmmmmmm yummy.

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  3. I found a bug in a box of cereal once. He was entombed in a honey glaze onto a corn flake. I actually sent the flake to the company. They sent back a letter profusely apologizing and a coupon for a new box. I couldn’t use it. I’ve been ruined for Honey Corn Flakes. Every time I see a bowl I look for a bug.

    You were right to not sample the half-eaten ones. You’re not lying about that, are you? Don’t lie to us, Vanessa.

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  4. Man I wouldn’t have given it a second thought… what doesn’t kill fattens is my policy… but I would have written the letter, you would probably have got another box or two to keep quiet… then you’d have had stacks to keep you going…

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    • Yeah, I’m a bit rubbish about getting around to sending letters for things like that! I know it’s important to do that, not just to get free stuff, but so that the company are made aware if they have a problem. I must get better at complaining…

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  5. In the post-apocalyptic world so many write about, sharing a chocolate with a mouse wouldn’t raise an eyebrow. In our current world of plenty, it might seem a tad disgusting. I’m not a chocolate freak though, so…but if there was evidence that a mouse had been nipping at my tequila, I guess I’d learn to share.

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  6. Oh, from one chocoholic to another, you did the right thing, V.

    My husband would be disgusted however as he hates chocolate. Who the hell hates chocolate?!

    Your story reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George eats a half-eaten chocolate Γ©clair that was left on top of the trash. Not that your story was the same, but still, the things we tell ourselves in order to eat something that may or may not be covered in mouse pee.

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    • Hates chocolate! What the…?

      None of these stories are as bad though as the one my friend told me. When she was a toddler, she was out with her Dad and he had to take her into some men’s public restrooms because he needed to go. While in there, she found a piece of chewed gum that was stuck on the side of a urinal, and popped it in her mouth! My mouse chocolates don’t seem as bad now right?

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    • I thought of that same episode of Seinfeld! I don’t think it was half-eaten. It was just resting on top of the trash. I’d have eaten it. I love exlairs.

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  7. I admire your will power in not eating the half-nibbled chocolates.

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  8. Oh, you gave me such a laugh with this one, Vanessa! As much as I love chocolate, I think even I would have passed on those. Maybe…

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  9. Were these chocolates made in America? How did the mouse get in? Was it a very tiny mouse, like the size of a germ? This is the most puzzling case since the disappearance of the Beaumont children in 1966.

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  10. I’m with you, Vanessa. Nothing wrong with the wrapped ones. Waste not; want not, right? I’m not good at writing letters about products either. The half-eaten one…ick. Touched by a rodent’s lips. Don’t want to kiss a mouse either.

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    • I sometimes do complaint letters, and generally get satisfactory results from doing so, but more often than not I don’t get around to it! I wouldn’t kiss a mouse either, but you know, it was the OTHER end of the chocolate than the nibble end πŸ˜‰

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  11. You mouse be kidding, I’d have to be really long tailed and wiggly whiskered to nibble at those. Don’t blame you though, we don’t know where anything comes from do we really. Our cornflakes were probably from an ear of corn nibbled by mouse, so who cares?

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  12. You are such a treasure. Are you worried that any of your coworkers will read this and you’ll be ratted out? Sorry, moused out? Since everyone survived the first go round of mouse chocolates, I probably would have done the same thing. Not so sure I’d be tempted by the half nibbled ones. I think I would have written the letter, though–not so much for the company’s benefit–though it would be good for them to know. Yadda. Yadda. But to get a fresh new box!

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    • I’m not worried about the coworkers, this was several years ago, same company but different department. To be honest, if they did read it they’d probably not be surprised, ha! A fresh new box would be good, I’m tempted to go and buy a box right now with all this chocolate talk…

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  13. This made me laugh how honest it was. You are a girl after my own heart.

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  14. This is hysterical, although I sometimes wonder what will become of the world if we all stopped eating food because it had been in contact with something icky. Everything comes in contact with something icky. Everything, I say! I’d not even blame it on a mouse and just chalk it up as one of those unsolved mysteries. Like, chocolate is the food of the gods, so maybe one of the gods took a little nibble. Divine chocolates! Face it, we’ll never survive the zombie apocalyps if we’re that scared of germs. Or mouse spit. Chow on.

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    • I know, think about all the icky things that crawl over our fruit and veg while it’s growing, right? And according to Lorinda who commented up there ^^^ we each eat about one to two pounds of insect parts each year! So I shouldn’t worry about a bit of mouse dribble!

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  15. This was adorable! I would have eaten them too haha, thank you for not being one of those people who has to complain about every little thing. Thank you for taking life as it comes!

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  16. LOVE. If it’s worth telling, it’s worth telling. Was I supposed to be embarrassed? Sorry, missed that memo. “Mouse dribble” is too cute. And now everyone will love you even more than they already do as they’ll associate you with humor and chocolate. Smart woman.
    Love,
    Shalagh

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    • No, no need to be embarrassed around here, anything goes! Humor and chocolate go together perfectly don’t they? We just need to throw some beer into the mix and we are complete! Thanks Shalagh πŸ™‚

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  17. And all along I was thinking a mouse also got into your desk! Glad you got to secretly fulfill a workday craving!

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  18. I get all excited when you have confession moments.
    Shhh…don’t tell anyone, but I’d have though about it. πŸ™‚
    But, how do we know this was a random mouse? He could have been a working mouse on his lunch break!

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    • Well exactly, and how do we know he wasn’t a perfectly clean and hygienic mouse you know? People let their dogs lick them on the mouth sometimes which is probably worse after they’ve been shoving their nose in other dogs’ doodoo. Also, I used to share ice-cream cones with my cat when I was a child, but that’s another story…

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  19. This is a funny story, Vanessa. You know what I think? I think your co-workers had a nibble of one those chocolates and quietly put it back in the box when no one was looking. There’s your mouse! Oh, I would so have eaten those chocolates! They’re even perfectly wrapped and, therefore, untainted! Good call!

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  20. We had a mice problem in our old Covent Garden offices, and one guy realised that he had been sharing a loaf of bread with a mouse, when he reached the middle and found a small nibble. As he investigated he realised that the mouse had been working through one way and he the other, and he had met in the middle. Not good!

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  21. No, I don’t think I could have done it…. You are braver than me! But does anyone else remember the “Crunchy Frog” skit from Monty Python? That one immediately popped to my mind. πŸ™‚

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    • No, I don’t remember the Crunchy Frog skit, I may have to look that up. But you’ve just reminded me of an advert that used to be on TV in the UK for a chocolate bar called Dime bar (they’ve now changed the name to Daim bar), if you don’t know the bar, it’s like a Heath bar or a Skor bar. On the advert they would say that Dime bars were crunchy on the inside and smooth on the outside, and then this guy would produce a live armadillo and say “I prefer armadillos, crunchy on the outside and smooth on the inside!” So random, but everyone would be quoting it and laughing because he was one of the popular comedians of the day!

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  22. Working on the theory of six degrees of separation you’ve probably eaten your chocolate mouse partner already? – mouse wee and all?

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  23. Got the giggles with this one…something we could all identify with. (Most of the mice around here are tall and walk on 2 legs…must be mutants)

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  24. A very cute version of “True Chocolate Confessions”. I can relate

    from the “Mouse-in-the-Box”

    PS there are some excellent 12 step choco-holic mouse management meetings available (I am powerless over chocolates and they make my mouse unmanageable).

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    • “True Chocolate Confessions” Is there really such a thing!

      I think I need me one of those 12 step meeting programs. I expect the first step is admitting I have a problem, so I can tick that first one off right now πŸ™‚

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  25. I love the way this post starts: “true confession…” It wouldn’t be much of a confession if it wasn’t true, no would it? πŸ˜‰

    As for sharing your chocolates with a mouse, I see no problem with it. It’s the rats that carry all the nasty diseases and they surely would have made more of mess in the box than innocent little mice. Plus, what are immune systems for, anyway? πŸ˜‰

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  26. Is this a blog about confessions and eating gross stuff? Because I just subscribed.

    If we can’t share a snick-snack with a wee mammal friend, how humane are we, really?

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    • Hi! Sorry for the delay in replying, I was away for a week and didn’t do any internety things! It isn’t a blog specifically about confessions and eating gross stuff, although they certainly seem to reature a lot! Thanks for stopping by and signing up πŸ™‚

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  27. Ah, a lovely read. Yes, the line is thin, where chocolate, mice, and humans tread. And I understand your quandary, for it is chocolate after all. A substance that makes rational folk sometimes to the unthinkable. In the end tho, I guess you did what you had to do, co-exist.

    Fun story, and well-crafted.
    -POTP

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  28. As long as you strictly ignored the half-eaten ones, you did all right. In fact, if one of them had had a gooey, caramel center….

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  29. Great the things you get to learn about people in this blogging world. I’ve shared a lot with mice. i grew up on a farm and they were everywhere. Mostly in the toy cupboard, which was full of their droppings. The traps we set (3 in total) were always full each morning. As for the chocolates i would have done the same. I once threw a half box in the bin because I couldn’t stop binging on them. Later that day, I took them out of the bin and finished them.

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    • Ha, yes, I can just imagine now that if you had the desk next to me at work, we’d be secretly sharing those chocs between us. I once took some sweets out of a bin and at them too! It was my own bin, and they were still in sealed wrappers, not just a random bin, I wouldn’t take them out of a random bin…although, if they were in sealed wrappers what’s the difference whose bin right?

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  30. In a recent (and lengthy) conversation with an exterminator, we were swapping rodent stories. He had a lot more stories than I did, obviously. He told the story of a customer who called them because she woke up one morning and the peppermints she kept in a dish on the coffee table were all missing. Only the wrappers were left. To make a long story short, it was a pack rat. When they found its nest, there were several uneaten peppermints and several pieces of shiny jewelry. The part that slays me about this is that the rat took the time to unwrap the peppermints. Plus I didn’t know there was any such thing as an actual pack rat.
    I LOVED the story about the child eating the moth. I can just picture it, including the look of determination on the child’s face, rushing to get the moth all in and swallowed. (“No, you can’t have this moth! It’s mine! Mine, I tell you!”)

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    • That is so funny about the rat unwrapping the peppermints! It’s so brazen isn’t it, you’d think they’d want to be in and out of there as quick as possible, and then sort out the unwrapping later, but like you say, for them to take the time to do that is fascinating!

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  31. I first read this one on my plane trip to the west coast. It made me smile then, and it’s made me smile now. Thanks for that, Vanessa! πŸ˜€

    I think we’ve all been guilty of a George Costanza “It’s still in its wrapper, it’s okay,” moment, so no judgment, here. πŸ˜‰ My very first job out of university was as a night shift office cleaner. I found one of those vending machine coffee donuts – still in its wrapper! I swear, it was still in its wrapper! – in someone’s waste basket, right on top of their discarded reports. “It probably fell off the desk into the bin,” I told myself. And that was enough. Yep, I ate it. I’m not proud of that today…but it tasted good then. πŸ˜‰

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    • There was nothing wrong with that donut Mayumi, nothing, and no reason for you to feel in any way ashamed. Food shouldn’t be wasted, so you were just helping food not to be wasted. You do have to wonder why they threw it out though don’t you, if they didn’t want it that day, why not just save it for the next day?…hmmm…let’s see…ok, I’ve got it, maybe they were just going to eat it when they got a phone call from their doctor saying that their cholesterol levels were up and they needed to immediately start eating more healthily…yep, that’ll be it, something like that.

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  32. LaLindaArtStudio

    Right! That would be crossing the line, but up until that point I was OK with it. It’s almost a sin to waste chocolate.

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  33. A mouse just ate a bag of my sister’s Hershey Chocolate Kisses. After researching, I discovered chocolate can be fatal to mice. That chocolate was probably the “Kiss” of Death to her beloved Chester…and possibly to your non-beloved chocolate thief. If only chocolate were toxic to humans…..maybe I wouldn’t be so tempted…..or maybe I’d be dead with a brown, smudgy smile on my face!!??……

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