Whilst browsing the backside of my hand cream tube (you know how much I enjoy reading packaging, as demonstrated here and here), I was amused to see a phone number to call “In case of emergency”. This got me wondering what might constitute a hand cream emergency? They can’t be talking about some kind of medical emergency like a severe allergic reaction, because in that instance you would surely seek proper medical attention, not just call a number on the back of the tube right? No, can’t be that, so what can it be? Maybe one of these situations…
1. Your hands are suddenly unusually dry, you reach urgently for the hand cream, only to discover the tube is empty! What do you do? Well you call the emergency number of course, and they will no doubt rush you an emergency supply over, pronto.
2. You do that thing where you accidentally apply too much hand cream and after rubbing your hands together for quite some time, they are still way too greasy to do anything with. What do you do? Do you keep rubbing your hands together for longer? Do you grab a cloth of some kind to wipe the excess off? Or do you decide to spread it further by extending your rubbing zone beyond your hands, right up your arms across your back and down your legs? You can’t possibly make that decision alone, no, you need advice from the hand cream emergency team.
3. You are distracted while squeezing your tube of hand cream and totally miss your hands, a dollop lands on the carpet, or the couch, or your clothing. Oh no! Can you just rub it in? No, you can’t do that, it’ll stain…won’t it? You’re not sure. Can you grab some tissue and blot it it? That probably won’t be enough…or will it? You think you might have read somewhere about a paste you can make involving baking soda and vinegar…or was it lemon juice and borax? No, white wine! What ARE the ingredients to that hand cream removing paste you read about damn it! You need to act quickly or it will be too late. If only there was an emergency number you could call. Oh, wait.
4. You realise that you’ve spent way too much time thinking about hand cream and may need to reassess your priorities. Who can you talk this crisis through with? Yep, you’ve guessed it.
Any other hand cream emergencies you can think of? Or any other non-emergency emergencies you can think of? Or any other strange things on packaging you’ve spotted to feed my obsession?