Vanessa’s Getting All Meta Again

How's my blogging sign

Like many bloggers, every now and again I like to get a bit meta, and write a blog post about blogging. Previous examples of mine are An open letter to WordPress, Want to know what it takes to get Freshly Pressed?, Do you suffer from blog envy, Have you lost your blogging mojo lately?, When the real world merges with the blogging world, and The mind blowing world of informal blogging networks. Phew! The current example of one, is this one I’m writing right now, but you knew that right? I give you my latest selected musings on blogging…

Funny spam

Funny spam pic

Those of us on WordPress, and presumably other blogging platforms too, are often amused by some of the spam comments that make it through to the blog. These comments may praise us for writing such insightful posts, or try to engage us in some way by asking for advice, or offering to help solve some issue they have identified with our blog. One of my favourites was a comment I received congratulating me on how brave I had been for tackling such a controversial issue that many people consider taboo, and how important it is for people to speak more openly about this topic – the post that this comment appeared on was a recipe for quick apple pie that I wrote on my Sugarness blog! I ask you, can you think of anything LESS taboo than an apple pie recipe?

The first to comment

Winning a race

On some of the more popular blogs, there is a certain pleasure to be found in being the first person to comment on a post (come on, admit you, you like it too right?) – you happen to be in the process of blog browsing when – Bazahm! (That’s the noise of a new post arriving) a new post is published by a popular blogger you follow. You know that if you read it really quickly, you might be able to be the first to comment, to secure that coveted top spot on the comment list (you might even beat Carrie if you’re REALLY quick!) – that top spot means that all who come after you will see your comment when they get to the bottom of the post. You quickly write a hilarious comment and submit, there! You’re the first, hurrah!…but wait…what’s this? Noooo!!!! You had forgotten that they are one of those bloggers who have their comment order set in reverse so that new comments always go to the top rather than stacking underneath, and slowly, slowly, your comment gets pushed further down and down…Sigh.

The search terms

Child with magnifying glass
This is another source of great amusement for us bloggers. On the stats page we get to see what search terms people entered into search engines that led them to our blog. Usually we can understand how that term led them to us, other times it’s like “What?! Well they’re going to be extremely disappointed if they think they’re going to find anything about THAT here!” Most of the search terms in my blog continue to be about fudge because as you know, I am the wise woman of fudge.

Some search terms that led to my blog in the last month…

– what happens when i put my gooey alien in the fridge
– israel xxl fat kids
– do the people in corfu look like normal people
– is a bushbaby one who clear paths on a safari
– do bears have uvulas?
– do jellyfish have uvulas?
– octopus smoking
– seagull parenting
– if I ask vanessa about my fudge will it go hard

And finally…

On a different subject, don’t forget you have until Monday to enter for the chance of winning an Amazon gift card on my last post, by playing with Lorna!

What do you have to say about blogging then huh?

————————————-
photo credits:
Blogging sign – Scott Beale via photopin cc
Funny spam – Joelstuff V4 via photopin cc
Race winning – Mitchell Media via photopin cc
Boy searching – woodleywonderworks via photopin cc

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94 responses to “Vanessa’s Getting All Meta Again

  1. I’m a follower so I have no experience with respect to search terms. I find new blogs to follow when I read their (your) comments in blogs I am already following. So mapping that might be kind of cool I think.

    I love syntax. So I am debating whether it was the reader or (presumably) his fudge that was in dangwe of getting hard. Cuz women don’t normally get hard I think. And while I think about it I can’t imagine too many men getting hard while asking about or reading about fudge. But I shouldn’t generalize from my limited experiences with confections.

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  2. I’m first! I’m first!

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  3. Blogging itself is a source of endless entertainment. My search terms alone have been fodder for numerous posts. Come to think of it, I should do another one soon. I’ve always wondered in the stats report how WP can tell the difference between visitors and readers. Do they have a tiny hour-glass that keeps track of how long a person stays at our site? Do they have an eyeball recognition protocol like in a James Bond flick? Really, how do they know? I bet I’m going to be counted as a reader… 😉

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  4. I have another meta question for you. Where do comments go after you hit submit? Cuz I just wasted 7 minutes of my life writing THE BEST RESPONSE of all time and it’s been sucked up in the ether like a left sock.

    Wonder whether it will materialize in some other person’s blog. I hope not because it’s going to seem even more irrelevant than it might be here.

    And now I am not first. Oh well.

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  5. You covered such a wide spectrum of the fun in blogging. I laughed about beating Carrie in commenting on a post. I don’t know if I’ve ever accomplished that yet! That girl is the queen of commenting!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. You know I was searching just the other day for octopus smoking. Should have known this was the place to look. 🙂
    You crack me up Vanessa. I don’t think I ever get to comment first here. Something about that 8 hours between us. 🙂

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  7. Can you be the first one blog at at time? I don’t think so. At least that is true for me.
    Vanessa, you are one funny lady. This is a hilarious post. I’m laughing my brains out and my cat is looking at me in a strange way…

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  8. I’m first to comment on some blogs, depending on what I am up to and their time zone, but it’s because I comment as I read. If I don’t then, I will forget to come back later!

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  9. Did you just spam me on my post? Shoot, I believed it was the real you and I made my gam picture bigger!! Ha ha.
    But I loved this post about blogging. My non-blogging friends’ (which are the majority of those I know) eyes glaze over when I try to explain the stats and the comments and how we all become friends even though we’ll probably never meet each other. Well, who needs glazed-eyed-friends when we have each other, virtually? (Except for the spammers – I dislike the spammers immensely. Well, except for the fudge guy. He seemed rather desperate.)

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    • Look at you all sassy there 😉

      Yes, I have a few non-blogging friends and family who follow this blog, and I always feel a bit sorry for them when I talk about blogging on here – it must be one big yawn for them!

      I get a few desperate fudge people, you should see them!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Not sure you’re interested in gathering more readers but if you are then you could imbed a copy of the photo of “she who shall not be named’s” huge baby-oil slathered butt that is effing up the worldwide web on this side of the pond. I think bleach sales in the states is at an all time high as 38% of America is trying to burn that image from its collective retinas.

    Okay, I’ve got nothing else.

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  11. Maybe this has been previously covered, but I’m at a loss on the protocol when it comes to return follows. If I visit and like–no problemo. If I stop by and my comfort zone is tweaked (good content/taste counts) I’m wondering should I or shouldn’t follow?

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  12. Oh dang, I am NOT the first person to comment here. I must be losing my touch. (Actually, I tend to leave my reader open, and during writing breaks, I’ll buzz over to check for new posts during the day so that I don’t have a hundred waiting for me at the end of the night. Thank you for the mention though. I think…)

    I loved reading through your search terms. You say you’re the queen of fudge, but I also think you’re the queen of uvulas. That’s a dual role few can pull off. Well done, Vanessa, well done.

    Very funny as always!

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    • Thank goodness you’re here Carrie, I was getting worried that I might have offended you! I’m actually just in awe of how much you manage to do, you’re such a generous blogger and tweeter, always commenting and sharing and liking, I don’t know how you do it all! But I’m still the uvula queen 🙂

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      • The same thing happened to me once: Carrie didn’t comment right away and I wondered if I had somehow offended her. Oh me of little faith. She’s typically the first to comment on my blog, too. How do you do it, Carrie? Are you still doctoring? How can you be and yet be such a faithful blogger/commenter/liker/writer/tv-watcher?

        Liked by 2 people

        • One word: CLONING

          Liked by 3 people

        • Hi, ParentingIsFunny! Remember, I’m on a work hiatus. I was veering off into a research position when my book got published so I took some time off to write. I’m shopping my second novel now. I’d like to see that scheduled for publication before I reenter the real world. So I’m having fun doing all the things I’ve never had time to do before because I was so tethered to work. And I’m LOVING writing fiction. (Plus my boys are teens and are at school all day and then have after school sports. And as an introvert, I never go out, so plenty of time to write. 🙂 )

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      • Haha, no offense was taken. I had to go to the eye doctor today and for a few hours, I had pupils the size of hubcaps. But I can see again. Yay!

        And thank you for your kind words. I can say the same about you!

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  13. That’s terrific. I love it all. And I’m guilty about the wanting to be the first commenter thing, but, truly, I can NEVER beat Carrie!

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  14. I am very rarely the first commenting anywhere! I feel so neglected. Sniff, sniff. But I always try to read yours when it comes in. I may not always get to it right away, but I do eventually. Most times. My search terms and spam are so boring, a lot of my spam is in another language I can’t even understand! How weird is that?

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    • Yes, I get a lot of spam in other languages too – that doesn’t usually make it through to the blog though, but I find it in my spam folder. You must have some funny search terms sometimes – you write about such a wide range of things you must surely attract SOME weirdos to your blog! You know, other weirdos apart from us regular followers 🙂

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  15. LOL I get at least 300 spams a day. A DAY ! !

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    • The spammers LOVE you! (Is that good or bad?). I’m not sure how many I get ending up in my spam folder, I don’t go in there very often, and they delete themselves from there after a while, but I only tend to get one or two a day actually getting through onto the published posts thankfully.

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  16. Do other people read my comments ?? Oh dear now I’ll have to be more careful about what I say… Here I am charming all you woman and certainly not getting hard about fudge, but maybe my wife might read the comments.?? Have to watch what I say…
    I do look to see what search terms are used to get to some of my posts… and one that I have (actually my most read) Bushmansgat (Afrikaans for Bushman’s hole).. is about a vertical cave by that name in the Kalahari, full of water, that has taken a mans life whilst trying to break the world record for the deeps fresh water dive… bushmans whole, bushman deep, bushmans backside, hole of bushman, bushmans eye, bushmans deep hole, are but some that I can remember…
    The stats for visitors and readers totally confuses me … is a visitor a non follower and a reader a follower ?? I would love to know the answer to that one….

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    • I’m pretty sure Linda knows what you’re like by now Rob! – You might have all the flirty banter with the ladies, but Linda is your world 🙂

      Oh those search terms are funny, I can imagine!

      My understanding is that visitor refers to a person, well it could be a spam bot, but let’s say person for now, so if one person (whether they are a follower or not) visits one page, then that should be one visitor and one view, if however that same person visits two pages on your site while they’re there then that is one person and two views, see? That’s the theory but I don’t think the stats are always right, I’ve seen odd things on mine sometimes.

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  17. Someone found my blog recently, using the following search:

    as an infp can i participate in association football

    I would say “no,” but you won’t find the answer on my blog.

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  18. About four years ago I wrote a post about how I thought the Disney princesses were now being drawn with a hint of sexuality. Especially the new ones. A drop-shoulder dress strap. Some cleavage. That sort of thing. Since then, I CONSTANTLY get hits from people looking for *hot disney princess*, *sexy disney princess*, *disney princess sex*, etc., etc. A million variations. It’s nauseating.

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  19. Fun post, Vanessa. Get meta anytime you want.

    Here are a few search terms that lead to the blog that I write:
    “angel heart movers atlanta”
    “ethel kennedy cotton farm, magee mississippi”
    “compare super bowl to resurrection sunday”

    And of course, there are plenty of “unknown search terms.”

    The internet is a funny thing.

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    • Thanks Bruce (I typed “Thanks Brunch” first time and then deleted it! I must be hungry). Now I’m wondering what you wrote about that attracted those searches.

      And WHY are there always so many unknown search terms? Why don’t they know what term was searched for? I never get that.

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  20. Search terms are funny. I’m still trying to work out how someone arrived at my blog with the following: “mustarbating in ladies”. I shudder to think.

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  21. Laughed out loud at the Doctors office when I read your spam comment and your search engine notes are pretty unusual. Except the uvulas. 🙂

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    • I guess with the spam comment, if they sent out thousands like that, chances are some would hit a topic that was indeed controversial and taboo and the people might think it was directly aimed at them. Yes, I never knew my uvula would turn out to be so interesting! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  22. I really think you should write the diffinative blog post on seagull parenting – it would be snapped up by all the parenting magagzines and you might become famous (not that you aren’t famous already).The Kardashian’s (and other celebs) need some advice on this topic, their parenting techniques are questionable to say the least – designer clothes for a 2 yr old, and mum baring her butt in an attempt to break the internet. WTF? Seagulls – thats the parenting model to follow dontcha think?

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  23. Whoops – too much white wine – I meant ‘definative’ not ‘diffinative’. Sorreee

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  24. I like seeing what were the popular posts on a given week and what search terms were used. There’s always something that leaves me scratching my head. 🙂

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  25. Ha! This resonates. Just yesterday I got a response to a post I did in 2011 (What?) It was a post about a very sad incident that happened in Ohio. A guy was keeping a lot of exotic species, including a lot of big cats. Just before killing himself he released almost all of them and cut the wires in their cages so they couldn’t even be rounded up and returned. It happened at night, so the authorities tracked down most of the animals and shot them, then dragged them to a central point to be removed. As horrible as that is, the authorities said they had to protect the public and the animals were also already starving. What else could they have done? So the commenter said that some of the officers involved took pictures of themselves with the animals, and that I should be fired. From what? Blogging? Or did she think I shot them myself? The point of my post had been that people should not keep exotic animals. Sheesh.

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  26. I knew you would soon be the go to person for uvula awareness! Well, done, my friend!

    As for seagulls, I still loathe them.

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  27. Excellent post… So ready-witted and funny…. I am checking out the spam right now because I am sure someone has left me presents, such us huge amounts of money, for free… All the best, Aquileana D

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  28. You can count on me being late, so I know better than to compete with Carrie. Love the way you worked in some of my favorites .. that is spam and search terms … but I’ve never worked them into a post.

    Question – Regarding your Open Letter to WordPress, did they respond to you?

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    • That’s surprising that you’ve never worked spam or search terms into a post with all the posts you’ve done over all those years!

      No, WordPress didn’t respond to the Open Letter, but I wasn’t particularly expecting them to, if I wanted to address something directly with them then I would have alerted them to it rather than just putting it “out there” – it was more just for me to air my views and discuss them with my readers! I find that bloggers like to discuss the subject of blogging when it comes up!

      Like

  29. Is it just me, or is there a lot more spam being let through by the filters? It classifies it as probable spam so I can delete, but I didn’t used to see that unless I went down into the stats-bowels of the blog.

    I never see you rushing to be the first commenter on my blog. Funny……

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  30. Having set my notifications to weekly, there is now no chance that I will ever beat Carrie to commenting—not that I ever could before!

    Sadly, my search terms seem to mainly be of the “unknown” variety generated by in-private browsing. My favorite, though, will likely always be “when I’m older I want to be a forensics poem.” But what would it be like to visit the home of someone who puts gooey aliens in their fridge! 🙂

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    • You must have such a large amount come in with the weekly notifications! Now that I’ve increased the regularity of my posting on Sugarness, I think of you sometimes with your weekly notifications and how you might have 3 or 4 from me some weeks between my two blogs! Please don’t feel obliged to always comment on all of them, I perfectly understand if it gets too much!

      I’m so pleased you explained that the unknown search terms are a result of in-private browsing, it always bugged me that there were so many and I didn’t know why they were unknown, but of course that makes sense!

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  31. I did the same thing as JM – I set my notifications to weekly, also. Part of my blogging pare-down! That’s okay. As an introvert, I rarely like being first because then everyone notices me!

    I don’t usually get spam comments through the filters, so I’m safe there. My search terms usually are interesting. I did a post once about the purpose of eels, and so I get a lot of eel-baed search terms.

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    • I don’t get any new post notifications, I switched to just using the Reader some time ago and prefer it that way (despite some of the issues with the Reader!). My introvertedness doesn’t come out in that way, I like to get noticed in the comments! 🙂

      Like

  32. 7, 9, 17, 18.

    As real and funny as a fart at an Irish wake when the host has forgotten the entire family was in a 12 step program.

    Like

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