Tag Archives: Cortana

An SEO Expert Walks into a Bar, Bars, Pub, Tavern…

Cortana and SiriThe SEO joke was told to me by Cortana, it’s not a joke she made up herself, she’s not THAT good, it’s not a new joke either, you may already have heard it in fact.

Before I carry on, I should first say that this post was inspired by one on Susie Lindau’s Wild Ride, she had a quite a scoop, an ACTUAL interview with the ACTUAL real person who provided the voice for the ACTUAL Siri. Oh yes! If you didn’t see it, you must hop on over and read it, but not yet, read my post first, ok?

Well, it got me wondering. There is much fun to be had interacting with Siri or Cortana, but which one of them is funnier? We have both Cortana and Siri in our house so I wanted to find out which one would be funnier if I put them to the test.

I started off by asking Cortana to tell me a joke, and you’ve seen the result of that, so what did Siri come up with when I asked her for a joke?

SIRI: What did one iPhone say to the other…hmm, I used to know this one.

Ok, I’m not sure if it’s a very funny joke that I don’t really get, or if the joke is that Siri can’t remember the joke? Or if she just really can’t remember. I went for another round and asked them each for another joke:

CORTANA: What kind of underwear do clouds wear? Thunderpants.

SIRI: If I told you a joke in my language, I’d have to explain it.

So again, Cortana told an actual joke, whereas Siri didn’t, unless what she said is meant to be funny, in which case, well, humour is in the eye of the beholder, or something like that right?

I tried again, tell me a joke!

CORTANA: Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

SIRI: The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

Well that round goes to Siri. Sorry Cortana but it’s really stretching things to call that a joke. Siri, you gave us a chuckle – I have heard that joke before, but that didn’t stop me chuckling again.

I tried for some more jokes, Siri decided she didn’t want to play anymore and kept saying that she didn’t know any jokes, personally I think she just feels that joke telling is beneath her, she has a point. Cortana was happy to oblige though with a couple more…

CORTANA: What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt.

CORTANA: The barman says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.” A time traveler walks into a bar.

Those aren’t bad, but really, I was hoping for more. I then rephrased things, rather than asking for a joke, I said “Tell me something funny.”

CORTANA: What do we want? Time Travel! When do we want it? It’s irrelevant…

SIRI: Siri, get Siri-ous. Ha ha!

Cortana clearly likes time travel humour. Siri, well, I expect she was just being ironic.

Then finally I went in with the ultimate question. I asked Cortana if she was funnier than Siri, and I asked Siri if she was funnier than Cortana…

CORTANA: I suppose the answer’s yes in at least one parallel universe.

SIRI: I’m afraid I can’t answer that.

Sorry Siri, but Cortana’s answer was way better than yours there.

Well there we have it folks. My sophisticated piece of research concludes that overall Cortana wins when it comes to being funnier. Or at least when it comes to being specifically asked to be funny, which is not necessarily the same thing.

Do you use Siri/Cortana or any other similar voice assistant? If so, do you actually use it for useful things, or just for entertainment?

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