Tag Archives: food

A Year of Food and Selfies

I’ve never been very good at keeping a journal, but over the last few years I’ve enjoyed doing a little something different to record the year in some way. In 2014 I did a word-a-day journal, in 2016 I did views from my bedroom window on the last Sunday of every month, and…wait, what happened to 2015? Didn’t I do something like that in 2015? I guess not.

Well 2017 might have been a very poor blogging year for me;  I haven’t blogged since April (eek!), but I did maintain something over the year to present on here now. On the first of every month I took a selfie pic, and also wrote down everything I ate and drank that day. I know that might seem very random, and it is. There’s no particular reason for it, it just came to me as something to do.

Here are the results:

On 1 January 2017, I looked like this…

Vanessa Chapman

…and I consumed this:

BREAKFAST: Bran flakes
LUNCH: Nothing
DINNER: Spaghetti with a sauce made from prawns, chorizo, tomatoes and garlic.
SNACKS: Dried banana and pineapple, left over Christmas chocs
DRINKS: Tea, coffee, water, Prosecco

On 1 February 2017 I looked like this…

Vanessa Chapman

…and I consumed this:

BREAKFAST: Toasted bagel with cream cheese
LUNCH: Crayfish and rocket leaf sandwich
DINNER: Baked pesto chicken, with broccoli
SNACKS: Dried pineapple, Berry flavour Trek Bar, bowl of cornflakes, Cadbury’s creme egg.
DRINKS: Tea, coffee, water, tequila

On 1 March 2017 I looked like this…

Vanessa Chapman

…and I consumed this:

BREAKFAST: Croissant
LUNCH: Chicken noodle soup, with rye bread
DINNER: Chicken, chorizo and vegetable soup
SNACKS: Salted caramel and peanut protein bar, popcorn, grapes
DRINKS: Tea, coffee, water, beer

On 1 April 2017 I looked like this…

Vanessa Chapman and Neil Aplin

…and I consumed this:

BREAKFAST: Nothing
LUNCH: Baked chicken thighs, baked potato, salad, coleslaw. Ice cream with fresh strawberries and chocolate chip cookies
DINNER: Nothing
SNACKS: Popcorn, apple
DRINKS: Tea, coffee, water, red wine

On 1 May 2017 I looked like this…

Vanessa Chapman

…and I consumed this:

BREAKFAST: Waffles with sliced banana, shredded coconut and whipped cream
LUNCH: Nothing
DINNER: Chicken wonton soup
SNACKS: Carrot sticks, almonds
DRINKS: Tea, coffee, water, beer

On 1 June 2017 I looked like this…

Vanessa Chapman

…and I consumed this:

BREAKFAST: Soft boiled eggs, toast, an orange
LUNCH: Roast pork, roast potatoes, yorkshire pudding, carrots, green beans, gravy
DINNER: Nothing
SNACKS: Olives
DRINKS: Tea, coffee, water, beer

On 1 July 2017 I looked like this…

Vanessa Chapman

…and I consumed this:

BREAKFAST: Nothing
LUNCH: Bubble tea (well starch bubbles are food, right?)
DINNER: Roast pork belly, roast potatoes, greens, broad beans, onion gravy.
SNACKS: Nothing
DRINKS: Tea, coffee, water, sparkling lemon and lime drink, gin & tonic

On 1 August 2017 I looked like this…

Vanessa Chapman

…and I consumed this:

BREAKFAST: Nothing
LUNCH: Chicken and salad sandwich
DINNER: Purition pistachio protein shake
SNACKS: Plums
DRINKS: Tea, water, beer

On 1 September 2017 I looked like this…

Vanessa Chapman

…and I consumed this:

BREAKFAST: Fried egg and tomato sandwich
LUNCH: Nothing
DINNER: Grilled halloumi and salad wrap
SNACKS: Prunes, quinoa chips
DRINKS: Tea, coffee, water, beer

On 1 October 2017 I looked like this…

Vanessa Chapman

…and I consumed this:

BREAKFAST: Cold pizza
LUNCH: Pad Thai, prawn tempura
DINNER: Black bean noodle salad
SNACKS: pear, avocado
DRINKS: Tea, coffee, water, pink cava

On 1 November 2017 I looked like this…

Vanessa Chapman

BREAKFAST: Porridge
LUNCH: Quinoa salad
DINNER: Spicy chicken wings and salad
SNACKS: Left over Halloween candy
DRINKS: Tea, coffee, water, martini

On 1 December 2017 I looked like this…

Vanessa Chapman

…and I consumed this:

BREAKFAST: Bacon and brie panini
LUNCH: Tuna melt panini
DINNER: Asian spicy chicken and Chinese vegetable noodle soup
SNACKS: Little oranges
DRINKS: Tea, coffee, water, beer

And there you have it, a glimpse into my year through food and selfies. I will admit that two of the photos are a couple of days out of being taken on the first (simply because I forgot to take them on the first), but literally only a couple of days out, so close enough. The food and drink is all totally accurate for those dates. I found it particularly interesting looking back on what I’d eaten and drunk. I was surprised that alcohol featured on each of the twelve, I did consider removing a few of those before posting, but hey, if I’m not going to be honest with it then there’s little point in doing it.

I feel so out of touch with the blogging world, this is the longest I haven’t blogged since I started. Hopefully doing this will kick me back into it. So, what’ya all been up to then?

 

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When No One Is Looking…

Black cat on fence

A few days ago I was eating some chicken wings at home. Before I could say “I love this hot Nando’s sauce”, one of my cats (the one in the picture above – you can see the sneaky look on her face), leaped up from nowhere, seized one of the wings in her mouth and attempted to run off with it. I managed to grab her and extract the wing from her mouth, phew.

I then looked down at my plate of wings, realised that I had put the wing back on the pile, and had no idea which was the one that had been in the cat’s mouth. So what did I do? Well nobody was around to see, so I just shrugged and carried on eating. Had anyone else been around, I may well have made a big dramatic gesture of throwing them all away in disgust, saying “Ugh! Well I can’t eat ANY of them now!”

Truth is I’ve been sharing food with cats ever since that first grubby little fistful of cat food I shoved into my mouth from the cat bowl as a toddler. I’ve never worried too much about that sort of thing. It builds immunity right? Right?! Remember I spent a year living self-sufficiently up a mountain as a child, with no plumbing or electricity, drinking raw milk straight out of goats, and eating goodness-knows-what straight out of the ground. I figure I have a pretty strong stomach. I feel the need to clarify here though, I’m actually very meticulous with food hygiene in my kitchen, so you don’t need to worry if you ever come to eat at my house. I guess I’m careful for other people, but if it’s just something for me (and nobody’s watching), I’m a lot more relaxed.

Are you horrified by my chicken wing story? Or are you thinking – yeah, I’d probably do the same too if nobody was looking…or maybe even if people were looking? What things have you done alone lately that you might not have done if someone was looking?

 

I Apologise for Our Sandwiches

Worst sandwich sign

British food doesn’t have the best reputation around the world. I can get defensive when people criticise British food (can’t I Mike), but the reputation is certainly partly justified. As I see it, it’s not that British people don’t appreciate good food, or can’t tell the difference between good food and bad food, it’s more the case that historically we’ve probably been more willing to put up with bad food than say the Americans are. Our tolerance levels of what is acceptable are higher. And of course traditional dishes and food of one nation aren’t necessarily to the taste of other nations if they haven’t grown up on it.

Conversely, a lot of Brits who haven’t visited the States have the impression that the majority of Americans live mainly on junk food, again, a reputation that is perhaps partly justified – and again, having previously lived for a few years in the States, I find myself on occasions getting defensive about American food when I come across the “All they eat is junk food and buckets of coke” attitude.

There are many good restaurants in the UK, and we regularly turn out world-class chefs, but I totally get why American visitors over here can get a bad impression of British food, especially while they’re out doing touristy things and grabbing food on the go. Take sandwiches as an example. The Americans really know how to do sandwiches. Mostly, we don’t. Sure, there are places over here where you can get decent sandwiches, but there are still vast amounts of frankly terrible sandwiches being served. I apologise for our sandwiches on behalf of my nation. And let’s not even talk about some of the pathetic excuses for burgers that are served here. The food served inside tourist attractions over here is generally not great.

But let’s redress the balance a little, I’m sure Americans would agree that you can also get plenty of bad food over there. I lived in Vegas for a few years, and some of the cheaper buffets were pretty nasty, one particular casino that shall remain nameless had a buffet with the reputation around town of “All you can keep down for $4.99.”

Over 350lbs sign

photo credit: CIN SITY via photopin (license)

There are some food items that I think we do better over here in the UK, overall. I’m not going to do a long comparative list of which items I think are better here and which there. Well that’s not exactly true, I DID start doing a long list but then decided it was a bit dull, so scrapped it.

I do think things are improving over here, but I don’t think I’m being unfair to say that the average food establishment in the States is still probably much better than the average food establishment over here, and when I say “better” I’m talking about quality, presentation, taste, and value. Having said that, I haven’t actually eaten in the States for several years, but I’m assuming the quality hasn’t suddenly gone downhill, plus I’ve seen many episodes of Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, so I know all that is worth knowing about casual dining stateside.

There are plenty of good places here, but you have to know where to go, and a tourist without guidance is very likely to end up at some disappointing food places, thus affirming the impression they already had that British food is not good.

If you have experienced first hand (and by “first hand” I mean actually in the countries themselves) both British and American food, what would you pick out as the highs or lows of either or both?

I Don’t Have a Kevin and I Don’t Know How Much Broccoli Weighs

Closed cup mushroom

From what I understand, online supermarket shopping is much more popular in the UK than in many other places, most of the big supermarkets here now deliver to most of the country. So I thought I’d give a little run down of what it’s like for those of you who might not have experienced it. Personally I’m a huge fan – from the comfort of your home, you just click a few keys on your keyboard and voila! Next thing you know, a nice man arrives on your doorstep with your week’s shopping, and all you have to do is flash him a smile and then put your groceries away. What’s not to love?

You generally get a bit of a laugh and banter with the friendly delivery drivers too, so that adds to the enjoyment of the experience. One time, two delivery guys arrived, one was in training I learned, and when I answered the door, the other one pointed at him and said “He’s the one who sounds like your Kevin!” and they both laughed raucously, so I laughed raucously too even though I didn’t have the slightest idea what they were talking about. I don’t have a Kevin. Most of the time though I do understand what it is that we’re all laughing about so that’s good.

Of course it’s not all plain sailing. Sometimes you can spend as long doing your online order as you would physically going to the supermarket, especially the first few times you do it. But navigating the website isn’t the biggest issue.

One of the issues is substitutions. Just because a product is in stock at the time you place the order doesn’t mean it will still be in stock at the time they pack your order, so in most deliveries you get at least one substitution. Usually their substitutions make sense – a different brand of the same product, or a different variety, or a different pack size. Sometimes they’re a bit strange though, once when the toothpaste I had ordered was out of stock they substituted a toothbrush instead, and another time I ordered hamster food and they substituted rabbit food. It’s ok though, you can refuse the substitutions at the door if they’re not suitable. But substitutions aren’t the biggest issue either.

The biggest issue is pack sizes and weights. It’s not until you start ordering groceries online that you realise how much you shop for food by assessing quantities visually. Suddenly you’re being called upon to say how much broccoli you want by weight – I don’t know, I just want one head of broccoli. What does that weigh? Does anyone know? Everyone who regularly orders groceries online will have funny stories of quantities being much more or much less than they had expected when they ordered. The photo of the mushroom at the top of this page was from one of my recent orders, I thought I was selecting one pack of mushrooms, but when it arrived it was just the one mushroom. I always think the packers must derive great amusement when they’re putting the orders together, knowing perfectly well that you probably didn’t want enough bacon to feed a small nation for a month, or a block of cheese the size of a dice.

For me though, the positives definitely outweigh the negatives, I still pop into supermarkets in person for bits and top ups, but my big shops are mainly online now.

Do you do any supermarket shopping online? If so, please do share your funny weight/pack size stories, I know you’ll have some!

Fun and Frolics with Food

I wanted to be sure that those of you who don’t follow my Sugarness food blog wouldn’t miss out on seeing the fun I had with this five-minute cooking video I made with my film-making friend, Stacey Morgan, from Morganic Films, and my partner Neil. You’re welcome. Do you think someone will give me my own cookery show after this? They’re bound to, right? RIGHT?!

Look at it Sitting There All Green and Leafy Like it Owns the Place

baby in bath

That’s right, cilantro/coriander leaf tastes like soap to us haters of it. Soap! Who wants to eat soap?!

A few weeks ago, I posted about 21 things I hate or just don’t like very much, which may or may not be irrational. Generally people agreed with my list of dislikes, except for number 8, “Cilantro/coriander leaf” (just to clarify, in the US they call it cilantro, here in the UK, we call it coriander. In the US I believe they do call the seed of the plant coriander, but we call the whole plant, seed and leaf, coriander. Got it? Anyway, it’s the green leaf I hate).

These were the cilantro-based comments:

“Do you really hate cilantro (coriander leaf) so much? I absolutely love it…there’s no accounting for taste!”

“I must enter my strong objections to #8. Cilantro is a fine herb”

“These are terrific, except the cilantro one. I’m sorry. It’s an essential component in my husband’s very delicious salsa”

“I do, however, enjoy cilantro!”

“The only thing I can’t agree with on this list is coriander / cilantro! Really? That’s one of those herbs I can’t seem to grow, but can’t live without either”

“Except for coriander leaves. I have no strong opinions on coriander, though, oddly enough, my sister also hates it”

“WOW!!! Every single one, we have in common! Except for the cilantro.”

“Agree with every one, except I love cilantro. (And that’s a very rare thing, when I’m the one defending a green, leafy food.)”

“I love cilantro, but everything else – yes!”

I even received a rare comment via email from a friend (he will verify the rarity) –

“It is rare that I feel that I must respond to your blog but  …….How can you not like coriander?  I shall never read your blog again (sob …)”

(See how he verified the rarity).

That's right! Cut it up! Chop it into tiny little pieces! Destroy it! Oh...I see, it's for your dip. I feel silly now.

That’s right! Cut it up! Chop it into tiny little pieces! Destroy it! Oh…I see, it’s for your dip. I feel silly now.

And then when I was waffling with Mike, cilantro came up again, and we had these comments:

“But we really must talk about your hate of cilantro.”

“I, OTOH, would love to eat cilantro every day.”

“Vanessa, you don’t like cilantro? You have wounded me to the core”

I’ve noticed this before with cilantro (I’m going to stick with calling it cilantro on this post, seeing as the majority of my followers are from the states), it always brings out quite extreme reactions in people, it’s definitely a love it or hate it thing. There is no indifference to cilantro. Well, except for that one comment I posted up there from someone who said they had no strong feelings about it. Except for that one. Hmmm, time for a poll I think, please vote:

I do happen to know at least two other bloggers who also speak of a strong aversion to this green leafy pest. I won’t name them though *cough* Carrie Rubin and She Drives a Vegetable Car *cough cough*  and if you do an online search for “I hate cilantro” or similar, you will find a wealth of haters. A wealth I tell you! We are not alone.

So what is this witchery contained within these seemingly innocent green leaves to bring out such reactions in people? Hatred amongst some, disdain for those who hate it amongst others. Is there an alien connection maybe? Or are the Government involved in some kind of conspiracy here? Or…or…oh wait, no, Jilanne Hoffman reminded me that there is  apparently a genetic reason for this hatred. It’s true, read all about it here.

It's all to do with our jeans apparently. Who knew!

It’s all to do with our jeans apparently. Who knew!

According to…people who know about these things, it’s possible to build up a tolerance to it by regularly eating it, I’m considering doing this because honestly, it seems to be making its way into more and more dishes (Hmm, I might have to revisit the alien and government conspiracy ideas again, because really, it’s EVERYWHERE). So should I see if I can get to tolerate, maybe even like, it? What do you think?

Do you have any interesting cilantro stories to share? Or actually I’ll take anything herb-related. Or food-dislike related. Or let me know if we ARE related.

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Photo credits:
Soap eating fido – photo credit: Smabs Sputzer via photopin cc
Cut up cilantro – photo credit: PetroleumJelliffe via photopin cc
Jeans – photo credit: snaps via photopin cc

I’m a bit late to the party but…

A hand with five fingers, each one with a hand

A few bloggers have been doing this 5×5 thing – Benzeknees came up with 5 topics for people to preference on (yes, “to preference on” is proper grammar in Vanessa’s Book of Invent Your Own Grammar, 2nd Edition). A few of my blogging buddies took part, such as Carrie Rubin and Rarasaur. I haven’t been as bloggingly active as usual lately, either in posting or visiting others, not through lack of interest or ideas, just lack of time. Anyway, I felt like giving this 5×5 a go, albeit a few weeks later than everyone else. Here goes…

5 Things I Am Passionate About
(I don’t think this one was meant to be about food, but I’m hungry, so I’ve chosen to interpret it in that way)

Lobster
Prosciutto
Olives
Cadbury Creme Eggs
Cherries
Cheese (I couldn’t possibly narrow it down)
Artichokes
Spinach
Asparagus
Chorizo
Sushi
Pick ‘n mix from the cinema
Ice-cream (many kinds)
Steak
(That was about 5 wasn’t it?)

5 Things I Would Like to Do Before I Die

Publish a book
Do more acting
Do more singing
Travel more
Win the lottery more…or at all

5 Things I Say A Lot

“In fairness…”
“Do you know what I mean?”
“I don’t get it”
“I’m so tired”
“That’s so funny!”

5 Books or Magazines I have Read Lately
(I realise this selection makes it look either like I’m trying to appear highly intellectual, or that I’m just very dull, but while I’m studying I really have no time to read any books or magazines that aren’t related to my course, I barely have time to answer blogging quizzes about myself! At least I haven’t gone the whole way and listed these in Harvard referencing style)

Quantitative Methods in Educational Research: The Role of Numbers Made Easy – S. Gorard

Contemporary Theories of Learning. Learning Theorists in Their Own Words – K. Illeris

Reproduction in Education, Society and Culture – P. Bourdieu

Writing Your Dissertation: How to Plan, Prepare and Present Successful Work – D. Swetnam

Critical Theory, A Very Short Introduction – S. Bronner

(Sorry about that, ask me this again in a year’s time and the list might be more…more what? Or do I mean less?…less what? Well, different anyway!).

5 Favourite Movies

All of Me
Groundhog Day
Being John Malcovitch (Just because it’s so hilariously bonkers!)
The Full Monty
Finding Nemo
Being There
Love Actually
Inception
Back to the Future
The Devil Wears Prada
Gorillas in the Mist
Working Girl
Contact
(Again, that was about 5 wasn’t it? I feel I should have had some more intellectual choices in there, but never mind, it’s a nice balance to my book list. I’m sure I’ll think of lots more I should have included later.)

EDIT: Wait! I just remembered two more movies that have to go on the list:
50 First Dates
Letters to Juliet.

Well there we go. If you want to join in, then please link back to Benzeknees so that she can see how widely it has gone. Or feel free to just answer any or all of them in the comments section below…

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photo credit: Robbert van der Steeg via photopin cc

The time I secretly shared a box of chocolates with a mouse

Elephant and mouse sharing

I feel the need for a little true confession today. It all started with a box of chocolates that I had brought in to work. It was one of those tall pass-it-around-and-share-it boxes of individually wrapped assorted chocolates. I passed it around. We shared. After four or five chocolates had been taken, someone reached in and pulled out an empty wrapper. Strange. I peered into the box, and there was another empty wrapper. Not nice flat wrappers, but crumpled up ones, still twisted at one end. I delved in further, then horror of horrors, I found a half unwrapped chocolate with what looked like little tiny nibble marks in it. And then another partly nibbled one…and another!

“A mouse must have got into the box!” Someone cried.

“Impossible!” I shouted. “I’ve only just opened the box now from new and there are no holes in it or anything!”

“Well a mouse must have got to them in the factory then,” somebody else suggested.

“You must complain Vanessa, you must write to the company and complain!” They told me. I knew they were right, but first I asked the question that was on everyone’s lips, or so I thought, but it turned out it was only on my lips…

“Should we eat the other chocolates anyway first? You know, the perfectly good ones that still have the wrapping intact?”

Everyone was aghast. “Noooo!!!!” They cried. “Noooo!!!”

“But they are perfectly good!” I protested.

“They’re not perfectly good Vanessa, they are contaminated! The whole box is contaminated!”

I reluctantly conceded that they were right, I must eat no more, I must instead complain. I shoved the box into my bottom desk drawer, fully intending to write a complaint letter later. But instead I forgot all about them. Until a few weeks later when I was searching for something, and opened the bottom drawer. My eyes lit up, for a second…

Chocolates!…Oh wait..no…they’re the mouse chocolates…I was supposed to complain about them. I expect it’s too late now. I should probably just throw them away…only…there’s some perfectly good chocolates still in there, and none of us got ill from the ones we ate before…plus, there’s no actual evidence that it’s mice, it could just be mechanical damage…yes, that’s it, mechanical damage, so…

I looked up and glanced around. Everyone was busy, nobody was looking my way. I reached into the box, and pulled one out, I held it under my desk and looked at it. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s perfectly good. I slowly and quietly unwrapped it and popped it into my mouth. And so it went on. Over the next two or three weeks, when nobody was looking, whenever I got a hankering for chocolate, I would slowly and quietly reach into my box of mouse chocolates, pull one of the fully wrapped ones out and eat it. Until they were all gone. And nobody knew.

And not once when I had run out of the fully wrapped ones, and had a desperate craving for chocolate, did I take out one of the half nibbled ones, and have my own little nibble from the other, perfectly good, end. Not once, because that would be a step too far…right?

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photo credit: HikingArtist.com via photopin cc

Flies eaten: 1

When you’re a parent, you regularly come across surprising, sometimes alarming things. A couple of weeks ago I was looking through a cupboard, and I came across a notebook. I opened it and saw this:

Paper that says 'Flies eaten: 1'

After I had recovered from the initial shock, I felt a certain sense of relief that it was only one. I knew my daughter had been the last to use this notebook and so I asked her about it. She casually brushed aside my concern and said in a matter-of-fact way “Oh yes, that was when we were doing the Duke of Edinburgh award.” A number of questions came to my mind – Was this one of the requirements in order to pass the award? Does the Duke know? If she’d tried a bit harder, could she have managed more than one? I kept my questions to myself though because if I ask her more than one question at a time these days, I am accused of ALWAYS questioning her about EVERYTHING. That is our job though right?

Of course I have almost eaten a fly myself too; but then who hasn’t? I say ‘almost’ because I had only got as far as chewing it, I hadn’t swallowed it yet. I was about five, out on a picnic. I saw something black on the edge of my sandwich, just inside. I thought it was Marmite. It wasn’t Marmite. Marmite isn’t chewy and gritty like that. Next thing I was spitting out little black bits and pieces of wing. That was a substantial sized beast of a fly I can tell you, and when bits of fly get stuck in your teeth, they don’t come out so easily. Oh I’m sorry, am I going into too much detail now? Let’s move on…

Caterpillar

…to another bug-in-food story. A while ago, eight of us from work had lunch out. There was a salad bar and we helped ourselves from it. Within a couple of minutes of each other, three of us found little caterpillars in our salad, one of my little fellas was actually making his way around the edge of the plate, with that ‘hump and straighten’ action which is kind of cute if it’s anywhere other than on your plate. We called the waitress over, and being British, we were all very apologetic about having found caterpillars in our food. She took our plates away, and we refused the kind offer she made to “Get the chef to wash the lettuce again for us”, instead opting to move on to dessert. At the end of the meal, she came and asked us, “Was everything alright?” We all laughed, assuming she was joking, but she remained straight-faced and asked again, more forcefully, “Was it? Was everything alright?” We realised that she seriously wanted an answer and so again, being British, we nodded and mumbled that it had all been very nice thank you.

So, do you have any ‘bugs in food’ stories to share?
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caterpillar photo credit: AMagill via photopin cc

Which came first, the idiot, or the one that treats them that way?

A week or so back, I photographed the sauce bottle that you see below, and posted it on Facebook with the comment ‘I’m glad they explain what it’s great with. It’s not like you’d get a clue from the name or anything.’ After a bit of discussion on there, we concluded that maybe the reason for their explanation is that some people might think that burger sauce is sauce that is made out of burgers. But either way, whether it’s to tell us what to use it for, or to tell us what it’s not made of, they’re treating us like idiots. So I ask you – do they treat us like idiots because we are idiots, or have we become idiots because we get treated that way? Of course when I say ‘we’, I’m not talking about anyone around here, oh no, obviously none of US are idiots, no, when I say ‘we’ I’m talking about the wider we of society.

Burger Sauce

My next packaging example was actually spotted by my son in the supermarket (note how well he models the pack for me to photograph it ). At the top it says ’12 Gold & Black Balloons’. I know what you’re thinking “What on earth do they mean by ‘Gold & Black Balloons’? How will I know what these are going to look like when they’re inflated? How will I know which are the gold ones and which are the black ones?!” Well fear not, there is some helpful clarification at the bottom – there is a picture of the black balloon, with the words ‘Black when inflated’, and a picture of the gold balloon with the words ‘Gold when inflated.’ Thank goodness for that. We’d have all been lost otherwise.

Balloons

And finally, allergy warnings. I think we’ve all been amused by packets of peanuts that have the words ‘Allergy warning: contains nuts’, and similar. But how about the allergy information below, on a loaf of rye bread I bought recently, it lists 18 items that there could possibly be traces of. My first thought was “…crustaceans, fish, molluscs? Do they bake this bread down on the docks or something?!” Then it dawned on me, they’re just covering their backs by listing all the food items that potentially can cause severe allergic reactions, whether or not there is a chance they could end up in the bread. If this is the way allergy warnings are going to go, then they become utterly pointless.

Bread packaging

So I have a question for you – do you find amusement in packaging labelling or is it just me?  Oh no wait…that wasn’t my question, my question was – which came first, the idiot, or the one that treats them that way? Well, feel free to answer either, or neither, question.